


Fire and Glass

by LadySpaceRadio, Lunamir



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Maybe stalking?, Scent Kink, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-10-20 14:08:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 62,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10664226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySpaceRadio/pseuds/LadySpaceRadio, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunamir/pseuds/Lunamir
Summary: Grace Ryder knew what she was made of, but she didn't think she was prepared to take her fathers role when they came to Andromeda. And now she has to prove to the whole galaxy to believe in her, when she doesn't believe in herself. On top of keeping her crew together, dodging politics, and figuring out if the new Angara on board hate her guts or is just stalking her? Some cultural differences just don't translate well.





	1. A Woman With Words

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Pathfinder was by definition someone who led the way for others to follow. They were meant to find the right path that led home. Alec had created the role, but Grace would be the one to define it.

 

It's a shame she was the one to inherit it.

 

Ryder was no stranger to stressful situations that were no different to a warzone. She had been on Eden Prime for god sake. She had both asari training and a few year's worth of peacekeeping under her belt. But Grace was not prepared to be thrust into a role she had no training for with thousands,  _ thousands, _ of lives relying on her. Now she was bumbling through every decision. Second guessing what she should do, if there  _ was _ a right decision. At moments when her ineptitude showned, Grace could feel the eyes on her the most, judging her for each step she took, each breath she inhaled. Grace walked on a fine thread that was ready to snap at moments notice. 

 

This had happened the moment she had awoken in SAM’s node with dry blood on her face and an AI whispering in her mind. All the confusion faded at the announcement of her father's death that followed in quick session with the title of Pathfinder being crowned to her.

 

She didn’t have time to process that her father was  _ dead _ . That she had  _ died _ .  In a daze state she was whipped into chaos, of finding the nexus in disrepair, of leadership fractured, of arks missing, of all their damn eyes looking to  _ her _ for help. She had inherited the title of pathfinder, and she had become a lone leader at that moment.

 

_ What was she suppose to do! Pull a planet out of her ass? _

 

Grunting Grace flipped onto her back, her muscles protested at the movement. She was finally enjoying a moments peace. A moment where no eyes watched her every movement, of not being afraid of being cooked alive in her suit as she traversed a radiated deserts. Because that  _ had _ to be the first place for an outpost. Director Tann had given the assignment.

 

_ “Prove your worth Ryder, as a Pathfinder, be like your father.” Tann smiled, but Grace tasted ash in her mouth at those words. _

 

Like her father, he said. He was a damn moron if he think she would turn out like Alec Ryder. War hero, N7 soldier, disgraced decorated vet No Grace wasn’t going to be like him. She was going to get them all killed.

 

Only she hadn’t.

 

She did what Tann asked, settle the planet Eos. The radiated wasteland that had no hope or future, until Grace found a saving grace. An ancient vault that could terraform the planet. Three months she spent on Eos. dodging bullets and radiation. And big fucking monsters. Three months, three long and hot months, on Eos Ryder’s work finally came with a reward. 

 

Prodromos. 

 

But the feeling of victory didn’t last a second as Tann called her back to the nexus.

 

_ “I knew you could do it.” He smiles smugly, as if months ago he didn’t doubt her.  _

 

_ Asshat. _

 

He didn’t call her for tea however, but assigned more things to her now that she was worthy. Food, resources, the nexus needed to feed hungry people. He wanted her to find more settlements, to bring more people out of cryo. He wanted her to find the arks, all of them. 

 

He wanted, he wanted, he wanted-

 

Grace stopped listening after a while, Tann was a dipshit. He thought himself above others, and that she was his lapdog. Grace soon proved that she didn’t take kindly to being ordered by men who thought they new best. Her father was the same, so when he kindly  _ suggested _ she make the outpost a science one, Grace pushed for military.

 

_ Fuck you elitist douchebag. _

 

Grace reached up and tentatively touched the bridge of her nose, the skin was still puckered and red. Lexi told her that she was  _ lucky _ the shards of her helmet weren’t over just a few more centimeters. She would have lost an eye then.

 

_ “It seems some of the...shards from the helmet hit your face.” Lexi gave a bit of a strained smile. “It’s going to scar.” _

 

Scar, Grace didn’t care about a scar. At least she didn’t think she did, till she looked at herself. It was like a branding, a glaring mark that yelled ‘this is how you should have died.’ 

 

It sucked.

 

She hadn’t looked at herself since.

 

_ “Pathfinder, ETA in fortyfive minutes.” _ SAM’s robotic voice chirped from her desk as he blinked into existence before blipping away.

 

“Thanks SAM.” Grace sighed.

 

This was another thing Grace had to get use to. It turns out Alec did a lot without telling anyone. Including making sure that the chip in Grace’s head, and Nebula’s too, were advanced enough to house the upgraded AI. The AI he intentionally neglected to tell everyone he had been working on still. Further improved than the other SAMs. Grace shuddered to think what the thing in her head could do. Besides talk to old, ancient terraforming machines. 

 

_ Which was badass _

 

SAM did inform her that her father had made  _ improvements _ to her implant that were to help stabilize her biotics more than the L5 implant she had. It was a disconcerting notion that SAM had power over something like her biotics.

 

_ “Pathfinder, Kallo is requesting your presence on the bridge. _ ”

 

“This better not have to do with Gil sitting in ‘his’ chair again. Five year olds I tell you.” Grace stood from her bed, this was better than her telling Tann to shove his head where the sun don’t shine if he kept inquiring about how fast she could set up more outpost.

 

_ Greedy lizard bastard. _

 

“Ryder.” Kallo greeted as she stepped on the bridge heading to the galaxy map. “Our scanners are picking up something strange.”

 

“Define strange.” Grace tilted her head as she looked at the stars whipping past them. 

 

“Its-shit.” Kallo’s attention diverted to the controls. “Brace yourself.” Were the only words he managed to say before Ryder’s diaphragm met the star map as the ship jerked to a halt. She wheezed, grappling to stay standing as the ship rocked while coming to a complete stop.

 

A deafening silence entered the cabin as all eyes gaped at the large intimidating ship surrounded by the black tendrils of the scourge. “Is that-”

 

_ “The Kett armada, Pathfinder.” _

 

“Well fuck me sideways.” Grace gulped as she stepped away from the galaxy controls. It wasn’t just the mother ship they stumbled upon, but a fleet.

 

“Kallo.” Grace snapped as she blinked back into reality. If they didn’t leave now, they would be seriously screwed. “Get us out of here!”

 

“I-they got us pinned against the scourge.”

 

“Shit-shit, double shit. SAM.”

 

_ “I am attempting to find an alternate route, but they are hacking our systems.” _

 

“No,no,no…” Grace felt a surge of panic as the alarms started to blare. Control panels switch from blue to orange as they locked. The ship rocked as the kett pulled them forward on a gravitational field. 

 

“SAM!” Grace hissed as she rushed to her controls, this would prove futile as the systems had gone into lockdown. Not even captain codes would work.

 

_ Neb would know what to do with these blasted machines! _

 

“We are being hailed.” Suvi piped up, just as a large  _ alien _ face popped up on the starcharts. 

 

Grace slowly turned her body to eye the strange face. He was kett, but different. He looks like…

 

_ A baby faced monkey. _

 

“Where is the one who activated the remnant.” Not a question but a demand. An order.

 

_ He’s killed thousands of my people and expects me to just cooperate with him.  _ Grace thought sourly as she felt the sting of anger as she stared down the monster. She allowed the anger to override her fear, something that allowed her to feel a bit more in control of her emotions.

 

_ “Pathfinder” _ SAM chirps over their private comm.  _ “ _ _ I am attempting to override the control. _ ”

 

Ryder picked up what he didn’t say. SAM needed time, and time she would give him.

 

“You’ll have to be more specific than that.” Grace quipped.

 

His white, dead eyes narrowed. “I have scanned your ship.” He spat. “His DNA signal is there. Now answer me!”

 

_ Dad _ .

 

Gritting her teeth at the realization of who he was demanding. Funny how the thing he sought would forever be out of his reach. And hers.

 

Grace plastered a pleasant, sneering, smile onto her face.

 

“Ooooooh!” She tapped her chin. “You mean that guy, mmmm. Nope.” Grace popped the p. “He’s not here right now, but if you leave a message I’ll be suuuure to give it to him.”

 

“Ryder.” Cora hissed somewhere behind her while someone else snorted. It appeared she did not approve of Ryder’s diplomacy skills.

 

_ You could have taken this job. _ Ryder thought spitefully. She was getting sorely tired of Cora second guessing all her decisions. Grace already did that herself!

 

Baby face’s face scrunched up as he slammed his fist down on the console. “Enough! Your insolent babble will do you no good. In the end you will understand nothing.”

 

_ “Ryder, I have almost regained control of the ship.” _ SAM informed over their private channel. Grace wanted to kiss him, she was slowly losing the battle of not being afraid in the face of an alien hitler.

 

_ It would seem it was time for a fond farewell. _

 

“Perhaps not, since you won't’ explain.” Grace uncrossed her arms as she stepped closer to the screen where white eyes- _ moons, they looked like moons- _ fasten to her form. “But understand this:  _ suck my dick.” _ Like magic words the control panels blinked blue as Ryder disconnected their line.

 

“SAM!” Grace gripped at the galaxy controls, her palms sweaty while her heart reaced. She was scared. Down right terrified. She just told an homicidal maniac to suck her dick.

 

_ What the fuck is wrong with me! _

 

_ “I have plotted a course through the scourge.” _ SAM’s coordinates blinked up on Kallo’s screens. 

 

“Kallo get us the hell out of here!” 

 

“On it Ryder!” Kallo’s fingers flew across the screens as he maneuvered the ship through the black oily mass, while dodging the kett cruisers dogging them. The ship rocked with each hit. Grace bit her cheek, filling her mouth with the copper tang of blood. Why did they not put any guns on their ships. Not a damn one. 

 

“Ryder!” Liam yelled as the ship skimmed the scourge.

 

“We’ll make it!” She hissed as the ship rocked from an explosion from behind. 

 

_ That better not be my ship! _

 

“Enemy destroyed.” Suvi’s voice was tight, yet calm. Her green eyes spoke of her terror as they bounced over the controls. 

 

Grace snorted. “Looks like they aren’t made for navigating the death cloud.”

 

“Are we?” Vetra hollard from the back as she tried to find something to latch onto to stay standing. It turned out to be Drack, who was laughing loudly.

 

“We have another one.” Suvi spoke.  As they hit a tunnel, the scourge swirled around them, closing in on all sides.

 

_ “We have a 67% chance of-” _

 

“Not now SAM.” Grace griped as she held her breath, she could feel the moment the second cruiser hit the scourge. The light at the end finally appeared, however it didn’t seem like they would make it.

 

_ Too close! _

 

Grace gritted her teeth as she spread her biotics into a thin layer, protecting the tempest from the claws that would surely rip her to shreds. Like a whisper she felt the stabs, like knifes, at her barrier as they hit the scourge before breaking free.

 

There was a sigh of relief as they settled into a drift in the unknown sector they had popped out at.

 

“YES!” Liam whooped suddenly startling the whole crew before he through his head back laughing.

 

“I didn’t think we would make it.” Peebee’s voice drifted from the back while she edged out of the escape pod. 

 

“I knew we would.” Drack thumped the back of Kallo’s chair, nearly sending the salarian threw the console. “Ya’ did good kid.”

 

Grace cleared her throat before turning to look at the crew gathered behind her. “That’s all well and done, and you both did good Kallo, SAM.”

 

Kallo looked flustered as he glanced around the smiling, relieved, faces before averting his gaze to his lap.

 

_ “Thank you pathfinder.” _ SAM took the praise like any robot would, of course.

 

“Welcome, but who the hell was that guy?” She honestly didn’t expect anyone to answer her, but when the comms chimed her heart dropped.

 

_ Please no more bad news. _

 

“Ryder,” Gil’s voice was clip, tight with stress. It was never a good sign when your engineer called right after a close call with mass murdering aliens.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“We need to find a port and fast. The power relays are shot, coils need to be cooled, and the compressor needs to be patched.” Gil grunted. “Unless you want to go in a fiery explosion.”

 

“Rather not.” Grace sighed. “Suvi did we get anywhere close to a place to land?”

 

“We might be at the vaults coordinates. I-I can’t tell the sensors are down.”

 

“Great, okay. Gil hold her together just a little longer, I’ll get us ground. Kallo,” Grace pointed at the planet before them. “Take us in, find us a safe place to land.”

 

“Got it Pathfinder.”

 

Ryder almost relaxed as they dipped into the atmosphere, even though half the planet looked cooked with-

 

_ Are those tornados on fire? _

 

“Ryder.” Suvi glanced anxiously at her. “We’re being contacted.

 

“Oh for gods sake.” Grace pinched her nose as she turned to the screen. “Please don’t let this be the kett homeworld.”

 

She glanced out of the ships bay window as four-six cruisers dropped from the sky, crowding the tempest, herding it. At the moment they didn’t look like kett shuttles, and she didn’t have the luxury of picking a different place to land.

 

“Shit, open the comm.” 

 

The voice that answered their call was alien, untranslated. It had a deep rumble to it, rolling it's ‘r’s. More than that it didn’t sound like a tongueless human, which the kett heavily sounded like when they spoke. Translated or not. Grace sighed in relief. 

 

_ Not kett. _

 

But not a known alien either.

 

“Um,” Grace licked her lips as she glanced around the bridge, all eyes on her. “We come with peaceful intentions.” She really hoped they knew what she said. And that they didn’t hear the hesitancy in her voice.

 

_ I am not cut out for first contact. _

 

Grace felt a lump rising in her throat as the comms remained silent for a moment before a decisive voice echoed over the comms, she didn’t understand it but she knew that they weren’t about to be shot out of the air as coordinates appeared on Kallo’s board.

 

“Take her in.” Grace sighed as she turned to the crew. 

 

“Please tell me you’re not going out there alone.” Vetra crossed her arms, looking worried as her plates shifted drawing tightly together.

 

“Maybe I should go with you.” Cora offered as she glanced out the window while the tempest started its descent to the coordinates given.

 

“It’s first contact.” Ryder pointed out, she would have been more than happy to hand the responsibility over, but the Ryder’s were known to be stubborn and  _ never _ back down from a challenge. “Which means it’s on me. And should anything happen-” Grace swallowed as she pushed some of her cyan strands of hair back into place. “You get back to the Nexus.”

 

She really hoped she didn’t get shot as soon as she stepped out of the Tempest.

 

“Ryder,” Suvi twisted in her chair.

 

“Don’t worry.” Grace chuckled as she looked at all the dowry faces. This was also part of her title, creating hope when there was none.

 

“It’s not like I’m about to start a galactic war….I hope.” She joked and hoped that they couldn’t see the worry and fear that surely shown in her gray eyes.

 

“Ryder.” Cora growled. 

 

“Relax Number one.” Grace laughed, though it sounded high pitched and flighty. “My conversation skills aren’t  _ that  _ bad.”

 

“Just don’t tell them to suck your dick.” Liam joked as he smacked her back.

 

Grace groaned. “You’re never going to get over that?”

 

“Not in this lifetime, Pathfinder.” Liam winked.

 

Grace wanted to stick her tongue out at him, like she would with Neb. Because Liam reminded her all to much of her comatose brother. but she didn’t. She didn’t have time for sentimental things. Smiling she turned towards the door and stepped through it. As it hissed shut behind her, Grace took a deep breath, her brave face falling as she smoothed her cyan colored hair down and redid the bun that kept her thick wavy hair in place. 

 

“SAM?” She called quietly while sliding down the ladder.

 

_ “Yes Pathfinder?” _ His monotone voice, though intimately entangled with her own mind as if he was, is, apart of her still filled her with a sense of unease.

 

“How likely is it I start a galactic war?” She choked on the joke while trying to grasp some of the control she had with the monkey face asshole.

 

_ “My data is insufficient to make those calculations.” _ SAM’s robotic voice droned.

 

“I suppose that’s good?” Not knowing the chances of dying was less unsettling than known the probability of getting shot as soon as she stepped through. Unless the numbers were in her favor. Which she didn’t think they would be.

 

_ “If it helps, you are not alone Ryder, I am with you _ .” SAM’s tone sounded softer as he offered her an olive branch that allowed her to stamp down on the bubbling fear and face the uncertainty of her possible demise.

 

“Ya, it helps.” Grace cleared her throat as her voice came out harsh, thick with emotions she didn’t need at the moment. “Thanks SAM.”

  
Taking a deep breath, Grace stepped out into the blinding white light to face the unknown.


	2. The Boogeyman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they've made it to Aya, Grace has to struggle with communicating with the aliens to show she didn't mean to drop out of the sky into their laps, on fire. She has the challenge of facing the a real life boogeyman while trying not to start a galactic war that would surely wipe the Initiative out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ellen Ryder always joked the twins were made of fire and glass. She use to say, in her loving voice how Grace was a fireball, fiercely independent with a fiery temper. Mama Ryder use to coo at Nebula assuring that his breakable heart and sensitive feelings were not a weakness. She use to bundle her children close and tell tall tales about two children one made of fire and the other glass.

It was these little fables that got her through the ten years of biotic training from hell. It was nights were her head felt like it was splitting in two and her body ached from muscle usage that a five year old shouldn’t do, Ellen would hold her close whispering make belief stories of a girl made from fire and her brother who was glass. For years Grace held onto those stories, making the girl of fire into an image she idolized. A hero who’s flames burned for the just and right. As years ticked by that little flaming girl turned into a woman whose flames burned too hot, skin like molten lava, that burned anyone who got to close. It wasn’t until Grace came to andromeda that she realized what lay behind her blazing skin was a heart made entirely of glass. 

From the moment of her conceivement Grace was exposed to element zero. It had always been a wonder of her’s how she became the biotic and her brother possessed not a single nodule on his brain. But her biotics manifested in ways her father didn’t entirely know what to do with. Sure there was Grissom Academy, a rising school to send children who couldn’t control their powers, but Alec Ryder didn’t ever do anything that was considered ordinary. Instead of sending her to train with the asari commando, much like Cora had, Alec searched for a matriarch to teach his daughter. An old, battle honed, asari who knew what to do with a wayward child. It wasn’t easy, since most matriarch’s returned to asari space, but there had been a few that he procured then dismissed when they all encouraged him to enlist her in Grissom Academy. 

Until he found Matriarch Aryn’la, who presented him with an unpopular biotic training.

_ “Precision Biotic.” Alec crossed his arms as he stared at the blue alien.  _

_ “It’s what I think is best for your daughter, since you won’t send her to Grissom Academy or to the asari commandos….It won’t be easy and most who train this way get...broken.” _

_ “My daughter will be fine.” Alec gruffed.  _

If any good came from the training, that came from the blood, sweat, and tears, was that Grace was very very good at faking it. And biotics of course. But her years underneath a thousand year old cranky widow did teach you a few good tricks. Like how not to be afraid. Or really ‘how to lie like the best of them’

_ If you can’t run, use it. _

Hands up, palms forward Grace stepped slowly down the ramp into the blinding white light. At first she couldn’t see anything till her eyes adjusted, and when they did her breath hitched. The aliens swarmed around her like a nest of angry hornets. But Grace had a hard time focusing on the guns directed at her when she was gaping at the expansive blue sky. Searching through andromeda and this is how she finds paradise. She would have whistled, till she remembered her company. 

A large towering alien stepped up to scan her, grunting gibberish at her.

_ “He is preforming a check of your person.” _ SAM supplied via their private channel.

“Hope this isn't a strip search.” She joked as the armor clad male(?) finished his scan and stepped back waving his gun at her. 

_ I hope he means proceed. _ Grace sent him a strained smile as she hesitantly move forward into the crowd that felt like they were frothing at the mouth to tear her apart.

_ “The translation process is almost done Pathfinder.” _ SAM toned in as she inched forward into the murmuring crowd.

Grace stopped at the bottom of the ramp, there was something about these aliens. Besides their large towering forms and deadly weaponary pointed at her face. There was a...hum. Like they were made of electricity themselfs. It reminded her of the years of intense training she had been put through beneath matriarch Ayrn’la, of the nights where she stood beneath the blanket of a storm feeling the cool rain on her bruised and feverish skin, while lightening struck around her humming a song of chaos and harmony. But that was a very different buzz then the one she was feeling now. This one set her teeth on edge as it pulsed in and around. Like the tension in the air, the fear, was literally beating at her. 

Grace grunted when the alien shoved the butt of his gun in between her shoulder blades, hard enough to almost knock her off her feet.

“No need to take my head off.” Grace stepped down, her eyes searching the crowd for the possible leader. Behind her the male chuffed.

Then at the top of the stairs stood a group different from the rest. Not only were they not clad in armor, but their shape was different, smaller almost.

_ Females? Wonder if this is a matriarchal society. _

Grace took in their faces. The legs reminded her of the quarians, but the bodies were different. Broader shoulders, thin waist, and round hips. There was a variety of skin tones too. Blue seemed to be the dominant one however. But it was their faces that got Grace. Wide black eyes with blue irises.

_ And some thick neck thingies….and lips. _

Grace finally dropped her arms as she came to stand at the bottom of the steps. Her eyes looked up at the aliens on the top. She would bet her bottom credit that one of them, probably the one clad in maroon as she stepped forward, was the leader. 

At first when she spoke, a low pitching rumbles of jumbled syllables, Grace didn’t understand.

“Uh.” She glanced back at the line of guns behind her before looking forward. She felt stupid for feeling so unsure of what to do, or say. “Sorry can you say that again?”

“Is this one daft?” Someone whispered clearly behind her.

“Sshh, Fayard.” Someone else hissed.

Grace clenched her fist, wanting to turn around and retort, but she knew that  _ that _ would be a bad idea.

_ “Translation done, Pathfinder.” _ SAM intoned.

_ No shit. _ Grace rolled her eyes.

“I am Paran Shie,” Paran Shie announced, drawing Grace’s attention once more. “governor of Aya. We are the angara.”

This Grace knew what to work with.

“I’m Pathfinder Ryder, a uh human. I’m with the Initiative.”

“I know.” Paran Shie pursed her lips as she eyed Grace, looking her up and down. Her hands, which she held in front of her person, twitched. “We have heard about your people, crossing dark space.”

To this Grace raised a brow as her stomach fluttered with dread. Somehow she felt like this wasn’t going over well. And the stupid humming seemed to be getting higher in pitch the longer she stood with them. Exposed. 

_ I knew I should have paid attention in communication class. _

Ryder opened her mouth to inform the woman she didn’t mean any harm by dropping in on Aya like an unwelcome dinner guest, but the woman’s attention diverted to the side. Another, large, alien appeared at the steps, dodging the governor and walking straight for her. In the background Grace could hear the governor scolding the newcomer,  _ Jaal. _ She stiffened, in anticipation.

Was he about to kill her? Snap her neck? Pull a knife and slip it between her ribs?

None of these things came to pass as he stopped two steps from the platform. Grace eyes darted about his person, searching for a possible threat. Before lifting up to his face, she took in the soft purple hues of his skin against the blue poncho he wore. Next was his nose the tapered off, flattened to his face. 

_ Feline like _ . Ryder concluded before glancing up to his eyes and stilling.

Grace’s breath hitched as she stared into the wide feline like eyes. Nestled in the black sclera she could see oceans and valleys, dotted with flecks of gold. A cloudless view of earth as it orbited the sun. She felt a faint tremble run down her spine as a strange mix of familiarity and feeling very out of place churned her stomach. 

The male, Jaal, leaned forward. Grace could see his nostrils flare as if he was sniffing her. The thing strips of his pupils, nestled between the oceans, dilated, swallowing the earth familiar iris. 

“Why are you here?”

Grace nearly jumped from her skin when his booming, reverberating voice spoke. She had been absorbed in observing his strange reaction that Grace hadn’t realize his mouth had open to speak.

_ Foolish girl _ . A voice, that sounded oddly like her father, chide.  _ You’ll get a bolt to your head if you don’t learn to be aware of your surroundings. _

“Um.” Grace swallowed, she wanted desperately to look away from the all too intense stare. To step back and get some distance to think clearly. But she didn’t, couldn’t. Everything was frozen staring at the eyes that burned of home.

"Aya is protected.” Jaal declared. “So why are you here?”

Grace licked her lips, a movement that caught his attention.

“Sorry.” She breathed before wrinkling a nose at the airy note. Nothing like sounded out of breath to make people take you seriously. “I uh we didn’t mean to drop by unexpected,or uninvited, we just kinda ran into some trouble. The uh kett, those shitty bastards, and we’re on fire, so...” She broke off unsure what else to say exactly. She just wished he’d take a step back.

“I can see that.”

“Huh?” Blinking, Ryder realized she had been gaping at him, again.

His lip twitched, which Grace wondered if that meant he was amused by her blathering, or something else.

“That you are on fire.”  Jaal didn’t say anything else. He just turned, walking back up the steps.

Grace sighed as she relaxed a little till one of the armed angara shifted next her.

“I will report back to Evfra.” He paused at the top step, peering back down at her. “Bring her, I will meet you there.”

_Evfra?_ The name left a sour taste in her mouth. It seemed the governor wasn’t the only leader in town. Briefly Grace wondered who held the power over this small paradise.  

After Jaal disappeared into the sizable crowded that was trying to get a glimpse of the alien invader, Ryder turned to look at Paran Shie

“So…..take me to your leader?”

Paran Shie narrowed her eyes as her lips twisted down in a frown. It was a very human expression. One Ellen use to have when she did not approve of what the twins were doing. Grace briefly wondered what had upset the woman. The request itself, or the suggestion that she was not the leader.

“Come.” The governor beckoned as she turned. 

Not eager to get another bruise in her back, Grace quickly climbed the steps only to slow as she spied the various clusters of angara, all crowding around to catch a glimpse of her.

_This was different._  

It was human to view anything different as alien, but in that moment standing alone in a sea of people who were not her own, Grace felt very alien.

_ “Pathfinder,”  _ SAM chirped, reminding her that she was not entirely alone.  _ “I have informed the crew to remain on the ship till this is either settled or there is an emergency. _ ” 

“Right thanks.” She really hoped that the latter would not be an occurrence.

“Do try to keep up.” Paran turned looking at Ryder as she closed the distance but still kept a respective space between them. Though Grace wish she could say the same about the guards as they halted at her back, close enough that if she shifted her arm would brush against their armor. “Evfra’s guards will use force if necessary.” 

_ Got that memo already. _ Grace thought with a small sniff as she rotated her shoulders. There was definitely going to be a bruise later.

“Do you mind if I ask questions?” Grace ventured as she trailed behind Paran Shie as they began their walk through the city. The breathtaking city that Grace had thought of before she woke to the disaster that was andromida. 

“So...Evfra? Who exactly is he?” And why did she have to see him? But that question she would venture to say was not something she should ask. For the way Paran Shie stiffened at his name, Grace would guess the two didn’t get along.

_ Power struggle perhaps? _

Yet she would say that Evfra had more if he sent someone instead of seeing her himself. Anyone with a great deal of power always sent a replacement to deal with small matters. But she wasn’t exactly a small matter.

“He is leader of the resistance.”

_ Resistance _ . Grace worried her lip. A man who fought against the kett, the invading asshats, was not likely to take kindly to an  _ alien _ coming to a protected world. 

_ Ah hell _ , Grace realized with some dread, that if the resistance leader was here than this wasn’t just some world she stumbled in, but the fucking homebase of their operations. And that was not something she wanted to stumble upon while her ship was on fucking fire.

_ “Ryder,”  _ SAM’s voice pulled her from her musing as she realized she was stepping into the thick of the crowds.  _ “I detect anormale amounts of electorstatice activity in the angara.” _

That probably explained the hum she was feeling. Grace pondered as sound slowly trickled back in. while passing by she could catch bits of conversation, if the angara were close enough.

_ “What is it?” _

_ “Look at it’s legs, how does it stay upright?” _

_ “She smells odd.” _

_ “It’s so small.” _

_ “It should be in a cage.” _

_ “Are we safe?” _

The whispers continued on the same vein. Some inquiring about her appearance, others whispering about the threat she possessed, and oddly enough frequent statements about her smell. Something Grace started to think was important to them. But one of them worried her the most.

_ “They’re taking her to Evfra. He’ll take care of this.”  _

There were a few similar whispers like this that Grace could catch as she skirted around some of the angier crowds. They said his name in awe and fear it seemed. Who ever Evfra was they made him sound like the boogeyman.

“Paran,” Grace paused slightly to gap at the huge waterfall for a brief second before skipping to keep up with the angara in front of her. “What happens if Evfra doesn’t like me?”

“He won’t.” Paran Shie simply said with a slight laugh. “But you’ll have to earn his trust.” 

Grace frowned at this, she was wondering if the angaran planned on shooting her, or imprisoning her, but it appeared these people had different structures and protocols for aliens. The governor almost made it sound like Grace was free to leave. But that would leave Aya vulnerable. Again Grace found herself not truly grasping how different the angara were.

“Evfra will be waiting for you through there.” Paran Shie gestured towards the doors of a large spiraling building. 

“Right.” Grace hesitated, she didn’t exactly want to go in.

“It’s best not to keep Evfra waiting.” Paran gave her a brief strained smile. Somehow Grace felt like she knew this from experience.

“Uh, Thank you governor.” Grace dipped her head before proceeding through the door. As it closed behind her, Grace came to a stop as she scanned the building. There were lots of angara here, none of which paid her much attention as they scrambled about. Unsure where to go Grace caught sight of Jaal, whom was talking to someone as they handed off a gun to him.

_ Hope that’s not for me. _

Taking a breath to steady her nerves, and prepare to meet Evfra. Grace started forwards towards Jaal, only to make a slight detour as the male he head been talking to almost ran her over.

Grace raised her brow at the angara that stopped upon seeing her, gaping like a fish out of water. It would seem he had been out of the loop about her arrival. Grace almost laughed as she passed him, giving the frozen male a wide berth. 

“Jaal.” She greeted as she figured he would guide her through the headquarters. At least that’s what she assumed this place was given the massive amounts of computers with data constantly scrolling down the screens and angara running to and fro. 

“You will have to understand,” He stroked the rifle he held in his hands as he eyed her form yet again. This was something she would not be getting use to. “That the kett has left us very wary of outsiders.”

“That,” Grace grimaces as she thought back to the baby face encounter. “I understand. They can be….lethal.” 

“Then you will understand why we do not trust you.”

“Of course.” 

Jaal nods as he turns, leading her further into the compound. “When they first came, the archon destroyed our cities. Scattered our people. And now they abducted us.”

“Why?” She asked, feeling a bit of horror as she realized all the people who had been brought here on the promise of a new home was now facing possible abduction. This was something she needed to prepare for. If the kett took the angaran they would surely do the same with her people as well. 

_ Fuck this galaxy is messed up. _

“Is it attriction?”

“These are questions best left for Evfra.” Jaal waved off her questions.

“I get the feeling,” Grace groused as they passed through another door leading into a room lined with windows and computers and one very angry, very large, angara pacing the room. “He’s not going to.”

“Skkut! We will not lose Voeld.” There was a datapad that got thrown across the room, smashing into the wall.

Ryder really really hoped he was not the leader of the resistance.

“Evfra,” Jaal called as he walked into the room, Grace hesitated at the door. “I have brought the Pathfinder from the Milky Way.”

_ Meelkey-wey _ .

Grace wanted to snort at the disgusted tone he used while pronouncing her home galaxy, but that amusement dried up rather quickly as the angry angaran pushed off the desk he was leaning on to look at them. The one who had shattered a datapad with a mere flick of his wrist was now bearing down on her with his all loathing glare that spoke volumes of his distaste for this situation they were in.

_ I’m so boned. _

Grace waited for the inevitable accusation, the hissing curses, or the decree of her punishment. But nothing was said. Evfra merely straightened as he turned to face them. His cold hard eyes trailed across her face before glancing down her person than back to her face again. 

She squinted her eyes at him, taking note of the deep scar running along the left side of his face. It looked like an animal had mauled him. It certainly added to his reputation of being a fearsome leader, Grace decided as she shifted her feet. She happened to notice that he seemed larger than the other angara in the room, even the one who was now standing off to the side of her. Swallowing she stepped forward till she stood a safe enough distance from the desk, and waited.

And waited

And waited.

If Evfra wanted to make her nervous he was doing a damn good job as he stood there glaring at her for all he was worth. And the silence was certainly getting to her too.

_ Fuuuuck. _ Grace weighed her options as she continued to hold his gaze, trying not to appear pathetic for once.

“Nice scar.” Ryder blurted as she internally face palmed. That was not what she was angling for, but it seemed to have a pleasant enough reaction as Evfra seemed to blink at her. It seemed that her observation had startle him, or what Grace assumed was startled considering the man only had two modes: moderate anger and frightening anger. Evfra blinked slowly at her statement before huffing

“Jaal informs me you encountered the kett.” He finally stated.

_ YES! _ She cheered as the conversation starts to flow.

“Oh ya,” She exhales a relieved sigh, though her stance stays defensive enough. “you don’t happen to know a guy with this,” She starts making a halo gesture above her head. “With a hoop around his head do you?”

“She’s talking about the Archon.” Someone whispered behind her before another angaran hushed him.

Grace glance behind her, but all the resistance soldiers were studiously looking in the other direction. “The Archon?” Grace nodded her head, it had been a name Jaal mentioned earlier too. “That sounds like the pompous asshole.”

There was a chuffing sound behind her followed by a thwacking noise.

“You met the Archon.” Evfra stated with a quirked brow.

“Yup, told him to-” Grace stopped as she realized it probably wasn’t a good idea to tell him that tidbit of information. Though by the look on the resistance leaders face and Jaal’s they were waiting for her to finish the sentence. “Do something anatomically impossible.” She finished with a shrug.

The chuffing noise came again, Grace would have turned if it weren't for the venomous look that passed over Evfra’s face as he stared someone down. The noise suddenly cut off as someone shuffled away.

“It matters not.” Evfra declared as he walked around his desk, picking up another datapad. “You happened upon us by chance.”

“Fix your ship, then leave.” It was a decree, a law. Evfra certainly seemed to have an air about him that just screamed obey. Ryder could only guess only idiots didn’t listen, and if they didn’t listen than they received the wrath of Evfra. It was not something she wanted to be on the end of, but sometimes being the Pathfinder meant swallowing the bullet and hoping you didn’t get shot with one.

Grace shifted her feet. This was going to be harder than she hoped for. Nothing in Andromeda came easy.

“Actually, we meant to come here.”

There was a hush over the room, Grace could feel the eyes train on her. But more than that she could feel the hum tighten, thicken, with tension.

“Why.” Evfra protracted the word as his eyes harden. His body was now turned fully towards her as he straightened to his full height. Grace was immensely grateful for the desk that separated them.

“I encountered a vault-a remnant vault, on this world. It made the world habitable when it was turned on.”

“The scout intel report that this is true.” Jaal offered helpfully as he stood off to her side. Grace had almost forgotten him with her fear of the almighty Evfra consuming her focus. Now she was grateful he hadn’t left.

Grace shot him a brief smile over her shoulder, one he did not recuperate. 

“There was a map,” Grace turned back to Evfra as she noted that Jaal seemed to be playing the devil's advocate and not an ally. “in the vault. It showed Aya and your vault is different. I  _ need _ to get into it.”

This was not a right choice of words as Evfra’s face was slowly growing darker the more she spoke till he smashed his hands on the desk between them. There was a stream of venomous words spewing from his mouth that her translator didn’t quite catch, though from his voice she could just guess what they meant.

Grace winced at the sound of his hands meeting the desk again.  She waited for the man to finish his tantrum before she tried speaking again.

“I need-.”

“ _ Skutt _ what you need. I should have wipe that place when I had the chance.” There were a few more angry hissing curses that left his mouth before his cold blue eyes returned to hers. There was a fire behind his eyes.

_ Oh boy. _

“We can’t help you.” His voice sounded even, but his eyes dared her to defy his order. “Take your crew and leave.”

Ryder grounded her teeth. She felt the wells of frustration creeping forward as she stood there, being dismissed. Why couldn’t anything go well here. She didn’t have the option to  _ leave. _ God knows she wants to. But there were thousands of lives riding on her. Biting down on her urge to lash out, Grace insteads took a deep breath to cool the flames of anger rising within. 

“I can’t do that.” Heat fills her voice as she stands against his words. Ryders never backed down from a challenge after all. Evfra stiffened, his lip curled flashing his white teeth in a snarl. Briefly she noted with some intrigue that he had canines, sharp looking ones at that. 

“I have thousands of lives riding on me to do right. And if that vault means life or death between my people, I’m going.” She lifted her chin in a challenge before softening her tone.

“I will not, however, move till you give me the permission. And if that means ‘proving’ myself to you and your people then so be it.” Grace opened her mouth to say something else but decidedly snapped it shut as she came up blank.

As silence descended upon them, Grace felt the suffocating  _ need _ to move or say something. She didn’t, instead the resistance leader let out a chuff. A noise that sounded like one of the big cats back on earth. Evfra stepped around his desk, coming to stand in front of her. It would seem some of his anger had cooled, though it didn’t mean he wasn’t still pissy.

_ Big blues a salty one. _ Grace mused as she craned her neck to look up at him. She refused to step back when he crowded her space.

“I feel for your people, but the vault has been lost to us. We can not help you.” This time as he says it, it almost sounds like regret. His remorseful tone and they way he looked at her made Ryder believe him. They could not help her.

Her heart plummented, what was she going to do now?

“The Moshae could.” 

Graced turned, completely forgetting that there was another person in there with them. She bit the inside of her cheek realizing that Jaal had inched closer during her heated debate with Evfra. It would seem that the angara didn’t believe in personal space.

“The Moshae is lost to us.” Evfra grinds out. 

“Evfra, I feel- if what this alien says is true, if they can interact with the remnant…” He trailed off but Evfra seemed to get what he was saying, considering his lip curled in distaste as he glanced between her and Jaal.

“No.” He snapped and started to turn around till Jaal caught his shoulder.

“Let me go with them, we need to assess them, and if she can bring the Moshae back should we not try?”

Evfra looked towards Grace, again his eyes studied her before he huffed. “Fine, but when she tries to kill you-”

“I know what to do.” Jaal assured while Grace winced. She did not like to think about the possible target she just acquired. That’s all she needed was a kill switch. A breathing, thinking kill switch.

Evfra sneers before he entirely dismisses them as he started barking orders at the resistance soldiers who seemed to be listening in on them instead of doing their jobs.

“Well...that went better than expected.” Grace joked as she turned to look at the newest member of the Tempest. This was something she had to wrap her mind around considering she didn’t even know how she got the angaran. 

_ What the fuck just happened? _

“Well then.” Grace smiles as she holds out her hand for him to shake. “Thanks for trusting me.”

“I don’t.” He grunts looking at her hand. Slowly she curls her fingers into a fist and drops it. “I could always kill you in your sleep.”

“Oh.”

Grace swallows as the headache that had been a dull throb in the back of her head flares to life. Sometimes being the Pathfinder sucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are back! Hey guys, thanks for tuning in! And a huge thanks to you who have commented and left Kudos you guys give me life! I had to rewrite this chapter a few times considering Grace just wouldn't cooperate. She kept flipping Efra off or he ended up strangling her. Not really I'm kidding, but I do feel that Efra definitely wants to strangle her.
> 
> I had a huge block writting Efra, I wanted to capture a man who, while he is under so much pressure to keep his people alive, wasn't bending beneath the weight like Grace is. I feel as if Efra, while not liking Ryder, would understand the struggle of fighting for their people, which is why while he does sympathize with her plight isn't going to move an inch. He has people he needs to protect too. and I feel like he would have been a lot more angry at Ryder for dropping in, simply out of stress. He's losing Voeld and now look an new alien has just discovered their homebase.
> 
> Anywho! Next chapter we get to know Jaal more and meet George Nebula Ryder!
> 
> Till next time!
> 
> Thanks for listening to LadySpaceRadio!


	3. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From a late night discussion a visit to her brother, Grace has to wonder what the new angara has against her. And why exactly every time she turns around he seems to be there.

 

 

Sleep. A natural state the body took a few hours at night. It was a factor of survival all aliens needed. It was a state that allowed the body and mind to relax and recover. It was a treasure to any soldier to have those precious hours where there was simply  _ nothing _ .

 

It was a shame sleep was not a thing easily achieved by Ryder.

 

Grace was, for lack of better terms, exhausted. Her body was tired, weight down after she came off her adrenaline high. Her mind was slow and sluggish, yet still seemed to run in endless circles of what ifs. And though she needed it, Grace couldn’t sleep. She hadn’t been able to since she had been titled the Pathfinder.

 

_ After she died _ .

 

After today, after Aya, she had hoped that maybe the excitement of the day would wear her out. But Grace had been wrong as her mind fought what her body needed. 

 

Lexi had been trying to help. First with therapeutic lessons.

 

_ Tell you my feelings, nah I’m good. _

 

Then with drugs.

 

_ “Melatonin, it will help you sleep Grace.” _

 

Then finally Lexi simply stared at her, out of options for the Pathfinder who was simply too messed up to sleep.

 

_ “I’m here when you need me. _ ”

 

Lexi had thought Grace would work it out on her own. But it simply just wasn’t true. If it wasn’t her mind keeping her awake it was the never ending nightmares that Grace couldn’t break from.

 

“SAM,” Grace croaked while rubbing her dry eyes. “what time is it?”

 

_ “It is 1:23 in the morning Ryder.” _

 

“Ugh.” Grace flops against her pillows as she rolls to her side to stare at the wall instead of the empty galaxy above her. Perry, the pyjak, made a slumbering chirp as she disturbed his nest. Squinting she lightly touched his ear before closing her eyes.

 

Today had been nearly a complete disaster. 

 

It started with Addison bitching about some shit Ryder needed to fix, to her physical Lexi forced upon her, to the douchebag Archon wrecking her ship, and ending on the note of the angara people slapping a shiny kill switch on her wrist. And by killswitch she meant the new, unfriendly, angara living aboard her ship.

 

_ This could be worse. _ Grace thought but her mind came up blank as to  _ how _ it could be.

 

“SAM, how could today be worse?” Grace finally asked as she turned one bloodshot eye onto the blue orb that acted as a host for the AI in her head.

 

_ “You did not start a galactic war.” _ SAM pointed out.

 

“Ah.” She groaned into her pillow.

 

It was true, at the very least she didn’t have a galactic war on her hands. And somehow she ended up with a new crew member. One that left her feeling uneasy. Something in the unwavering stare of his kept her off balance. She couldn't put her finger on it, but Grace felt there was something more to Jaal than he showed. 

 

It was a mystery she wasn't all to sure she wanted to uncover. But Grace Ryder was never one to leave best alone. 

 

Of course now that she thought about the angara she could help but feel her cheeks flush with embarrassment about today's events. The meeting that followed her return to the ship didn't go as well as her authority was undermined by everyone. When she tried to speak someone would talk over her. Arguments started and finally Grace had to lay down the law, in her own stupid way.    
  
"If you don't shut your traps I will airlock the bunch of y’all!" She hissed like a wet cat.    
  
A silence descended as everyone looked to her like she was crazy.   
  
_ Which I probably am.  _   
  
Drack snorted. "Threats kid, I like it."    
  


“What’s going on Ryder. Why are we leaving?” Cora was the first to speak after Ryders threat.

 

_ At least she’s asking me instead of assuming. _

 

“We are going to get the Moshae. She’s someone who the angara revere.”

 

“And where is she exactly?” Vetra asked.

 

Here Ryder’s mind blanked before bending over in panic.

 

_ Holy shit I never asked _ .

 

“ _ That _ is a good question.” Grace gave a little awkward laugh before turning around to the little corner she had been avoiding looking at. She just knew that he would be making that eagle sharp gaze at her while she fumbles to regain authority over the meeting. She could feel it.

 

_ Yup still staring _ .

 

“Jaal?”

 

“Are you serious.” Cora hisses. “You don’t even know.”

 

“I was kind of busy not trying to fuck up first contact.” Grace snapped as she turned to glare at the woman.

 

Grace got along with the biotic well enough, but she could tell Cora was still bitter about what happened with the late Pathfinder. Because she respected the woman a great deal, Grace tended to bite her tongue when Cora often commented about Alec and his abilities compared to hers. This would not be one of the moments she let Cora slip by.

 

“Sorry.” Cora finally submits looking away.

 

“Look without the Moshae we aren’t getting into the vault. Without the angara’s trust we aren’t getting into that vault. So unless any of you have a better plan?” Grace swept the room waiting for anyone to speak before nodding. “Okay then. Jaal?”

 

She turned back to the male, sitting and staring. Ryder wondered what was going through his head as he sat watching the chaos that was the Initiatives only hope. 

 

_ Something tells me he’s regretting coming along right. _

 

The angara made a humming noise as he stood sauntering towards the table. His baritone voice rumbled as he started talking. His eyes bounced around the conference room, settling on Ryder.

 

“We will need the Moshae to access the vault, but we need the resistance trust to get to it.” Jaal tapped his omnitool to interface with the hologram, something Ryder is surprised is able to interact with at all. Then again SAM could interface with the remnant, no small feat.

 

“This, is Voeld. Where the Moshae is, and the biggest ground fight the angara have with the kett. You will be accompanying me there.”

 

“Too do what exactly?” Liam asked.

 

“What Ryder said rings truth, without the resistance backing you aren't getting into the vault. If Ryder helps me with the resistance on Voeld-”

 

“Then Evfra will start seeing me in a different light.” Grace cut in. She could feel the frustration of what she had gotten into taking form as a headache. There was no way she could do this, save the moshea and get Evfra’s approval. She was so fucked. Something on her expression must have reflected outwards to the crew as they all looked unconvinced.

 

“Guys,” Grace held her chin up, giving her voice the ‘Alec Ryder’ tone she had adopted since becoming the Pathfinder. The one she used to lie to everyone when they doubted her. “ I need you to trust me on this. It’s not going to be easy but to get to the end game we need to work with the angara. They know the kett better then we do. They’ve been fighting them for a lot longer than any of us have.” She looked out to them, trying to find a single thread that believed in her so she could grasp it. If one person believed than surely she could do the same.

 

It was silent for a moment before Peebee made a frustrating sound.

 

“Great so we have to help the resistance.” Peebee sighed. “Guess I’ll go unpack my winter gear.”

 

With a murmur of agreement, they all disbursed from the table, shuffling in different directions while whispering to one another.

 

“Yup, good meeting everyone. SO glad for the positive feedback.” Grace muttered to herself as she watched the crew,  _ her _ crew, walk away. Leaning on the railing she watched as a few people, Cora, Liam and Lexi, crowded around the new member. She could only imagine Cora was welcoming him. Liam would give the tour and help him settle in. And Lexi would dissect him as she did with the rest of the crew.

 

Breathing deep, Ryder started to relax her shoulders as the worse of the day finally was over. For now she could lay her problems to rest till tomorrow.

 

Of course the problems of today hadn't truly ended with the meeting.

 

“Pathfinder.”

 

Grace tensed, inclining her head towards the comms as Gil’s voice drifted over. “Yes.” 

 

“We,” There was a pause as Gil grunted and grumbled something under his breath “ We need to stop at Nexus before continuing on.”

 

Grace narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

 

“Well since you decided to tell the Archon to fuck off,” 

 

_ That she didn’t regret doing.  _

 

“Before deciding to race through an alien space cloud of death. Literally that thing is a ship graveyard, it’s where ships go to die ya kno-”

 

“Gil.” Grace pinched her nose. “The point.”

 

“Right.” She could hear him clear his throat. “Well on our emergency landing on Aya I could only do rudimentary repairs. The Tempest she needs-ah something a bit sturdier. And since I know what we’re facing I can make sure we have all the right parts.”

 

“Okay I’ll tell Kallo to make the course change.”

 

“Good-good alright, over and out Captain.” Gil sounded exhausted, even over the comms. Ryder’s heart went out to him, she was in the same boat of sleepless nights, only difference was the stims Lexi gave him worked, where hers only made her feel like a paralysis victim. Awake but unable to move.

 

Before she left the meeting area, Grace backtracked to send a message, asking for permission for the newest member of their crew to have access to the Nexus, or at least the cultural center. 

 

_ “Just the cultural center Tann _ .”  _ Grace pinched her nose as the director squawked about it. Fussing and what not. _

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want the angara there, it’s that he wanted to exploit them. Use them to boost moral. Grace had quickly cut that off, at least until they get the angara trust. Not to mention Grace  _ hated _ reporters. But Tann loved publicity, making himself a figure head of it all. He wanted to celebrate the first contact that went well.

 

_ “People must know, Ryder. They need to see what their Pathfinder is doing!” _

 

Grace would rather choke on her own saliva than have another camera thrust into her face. She didn’t say that to Tann, but did imply that the angara weren’t real willing to be publicly exposed until they could trust them.

 

_ “The kett left a bad taste in there mouths. Lets let them adjust to us first.” _

 

He grudgingly agreed, but Grace wouldn’t be all that surprised to see Keri waiting to get the story. Tann had a way of using the paparozzi against Ryder. As if he knew how stiff she got when a camera was recording her. 

 

After all that she had sat pouring over reports and making some herself, Ryder had found herself in bed attempting to sleep. But the elusive state still evaded her.

 

“This is just shitatstic.” Grace rolls off the bed and shuffled to the door. If she can’t sleep she’ll find something to nibble on. Throwing her hair into a loose bun Grace heads straight for the gallery. Cora had mentioned something about artificial cucumbers earlier. They didn’t taste as the real deal but they would do. 

 

Upon preparing her snack, Grace’s mind circled back to the reports and intel Jaal allowed her access to. Voeld was a desolate ice world with the kett entrenched deep within the surface. It seemed the resistance struggled everyday to beat the kett back. And it didn’t look like the tide was turning in their favor. There was daily reports of patrols missing, angara ships shot down, and supply runs ambushed.

 

If the cold didn’t kill her the kett would.

 

Grace sighed as she plucked a knife from the sink before she began peeling the little green veggie. She made an internal checklist on what to get at the Nexus for this trip, or at least tried but her mind circling around other problems.

 

Like the Moshae.

 

The Moshae was a scientist and teacher. Most, if not all, the angara respected and loved her. Getting her back would do a great deal of good of building bridges between the angara and the Initiative, and if she happened to take out a few Kett along the way she was sure Evfra would loosen up a bit. 

 

_ As always it’s easier said then done. _

 

The true problem lay to where the Moshae was. The facility she was being held in was heavily guarded. It didn’t say much on it, so Grace was going to have to speak to the resistance there on more information. What Grace had glean from the intel was not good. The angara had been trying for years to take the facility with no progress. 

 

Grace grunted as she briefly closed her eyes in frustration. She didn’t know if she could do this. Go to an ice world, fight the kett, rescue the Moshae, get into the vault and save her people. How the hell was she suppose to do that? With only a small ragtag team of fighters. How could anyone do something that seemed so impossible.

 

_ My father could. _

 

It was only a matter of time before she fucked up. She always did.

 

“Do your kind not sleep?” 

 

A mixed sound of hitched breath and a terrified squeal escaped her mouth as she spun on her heels looking towards the intruder.

 

“Jaal!” Grace gasped as she focused in on the angara standing in the entrance. His blue cape was missing though he still wore his armor. Funny how he seemed bigger without the blue fabric fluttering around his shoulders.

 

It wasn’t until he lifted his hands that she realizes she had her knife pointed at him. “Sorry, you startled me.”

 

“That was not my intent.” He rumbled while shuffling into the small kitchen. His broad shoulders taking up much of the doorframe, and it didn’t seem like he would be moving far from it. Essentially he was trapping her in there with him.

 

“It’s fine.” Grace waves him off as she turns back to cutting the cucumber and  _ not _ thinking about how her escape route was blocked. Or that she only wore a thin worn gray shirt and a pair of boxers.

 

_ Danger danger! _

 

“We sleep.” She blurted after the seconds of silence began stacking up. Her eyes drifted towards his form before snapping back down as she sliced through the cucumber. Grace bit the inside of her cheek. As always that intense predatory gaze was fixated on her face. There was something in those earth shaped eyes that just seemed to notice everything. It was as if he wasn’t looking at her but into her. Seeing all her secrets lay bare.There was something nerve wracking about being on that end of that kind of focus.  “I just can’t.”

 

Jaal made a humming noise as he settled against the doorframe, watching her. Grace sent him another quick looked before looking down at the sliced vegetable with a bewildered frown.

 

_ He’s doing it again. _

 

Grace wonders what he’s smelling as he leaned forward slightly, nostrils flaring as his earth colored iris were swallowed by the dilating pupil. 

 

She didn’t ask. He didn’t seem open enough to talk to her about personal things just yet. Not that she really had a chance to talk to him. But she was confused as to why he stayed, leaning there looking at her.

 

_ “...Could always kill you…”  _

 

Grace swallowed as she glanced at the large male blocking her exit. “So….you come to kill me?” She tried to make it a joke, but it came out breathy and slightly wavering. Not how she wanted to present herself.

 

Damn lack of sleep.

 

Jaal chuffed, as if he found her part amusing and part surprising. “No. I am also having trouble sleeping.”

 

“Right, the whole alien ship new atmosphere thing.”

 

“Yes...you ship is very quiet.” He paused like he was going to add more then decided not to.

 

That wasn’t entirely true. Fights broke out between crewmates on a regular. They were less angry and more joking fights now a days, but there was still a ruckus going on. In fact if there was silence it meant something was up. Jaal just hadn’t experienced it yet.

 

Grace didn’t say that, she simply smiled, a strained one that made her cheeks hurt. “You’ll get use to us.”

 

“Perhaps.” If he was human, Grace was sure he’d shrug.

 

“Right.” Grace blinked before looking back down at the cucumber. “Did you um want some?”

 

“No.” A sharp refusal.

 

Grace pressed her lips together as she bobbed her head. The first actual conversation she’s had with an angaran and she’s half positive he just wanted her to disappear. Casting a side glance at him again, Grace feels the statistic go up.

 

“Okay.”

 

He doesn’t say anything else, just standing by the door with his arms crossed staring at her. Grace racks her brain for a topic, but her thoughts are muddled and she can’t seem to think of anything other than the fact that he’s staring. With those earth like orbs.

 

_ Fuckign staring _ !

 

“What does the marking on your skin mean?” He asked suddenly.

 

Blinking, Grace looks up at him, confused to what he’s asking. He must have seen her bewilderment as he gestures to her neck.

 

“Oh.” On reflex she reaches up, to cup her neck where the lilac colored lilies lay. “It’s uh...it’s my mother's favorite flower.” She licks her lips before dropping her hand. “They’re called lilies. Nothing really special about them.”

 

“Ah sentimental value.” Jaal nods. “Than it is special to you.” He corrects.

 

Grace feels a flush raise up on her cheeks before ducking her head. “Ya.” 

 

She had gotten the tattoo just before leaving the Milky Way. There was two lilies entwined with one another, the petals brushed just the underside of her jaw as there stems curved down her collarbone to lay over her heart. Neb had actually insisted on getting one to. So the she inadvertantly got two tattoos that day. Hurt like hell, but now she was glad.

 

Popping some of the cucumber in her mouth, Ryder’s stomach twisted in protest. No longer hungry she searched for a bowl to put the diced vegetable in.  

 

“Can I ask you something Jaal?” Grace placed the plastic dish on the counter with a clink as she scooped up the wet remnants of her midnight snack. “Do you think we can rescue your Moshea?”

 

There’s a flare of his hum, something tight and agitated before it settles. “I do not know.” He finally says as she moves to put the food away before standing awkwardly before him.

 

“Do you believe you can do it?” He counters with the same question.

 

Grace looks at him, stares into the oceans and golden valleys, and she smiles. “Hell yes.” It’s a blatant fucking lie. One she’s been saying since she woke up as the new Pathfinder. 

 

_ ‘Need me to settle a world that you’ve failed twice on, hell yes I can.’ _

 

_ ‘Want me to settle a dispute between the awaken people and security? Hell yes I’ll be right there.’ _

 

_ ‘Want me to take on a kett base with a fractured wrist, ten shotgun bullets, a angry krogan and my wit? Hell ya.’ _

 

Jaal blinks at the firmness in her voice before a brief satisfying look crosses his eyes. He doesn’t seem to doubt her enthusiasm though there is a twist in his mouth. “I hope you can prove your words true Pathfinder.”

 

Then he leaves her to a kitchen that is all too big now that his overwhelming presence is gone.

 

Grace snorts as she slumps against the counter palming her face. All she needed was another doubtful pair of eyes judging her actions and words.

 

“I wish so too.”

 

Ryder did happen to get two hours of sleep in, before she was up and showering. By the time she was inhaling her coffee the Tempest was pulling into port.

 

“Alright Kids” Grace called to attention as she looked towards the crew who were going on shore leave. Gil and Kallo were unfortunately staying behind to give the Tempest some TLC. “Don’t go picking fights, I’m out of money for bail.”

 

“That one's getting old Ryder.” Liam joked.

 

“Pft, not as old as Drack.”

 

“Hey.” The krogan grunts, though he really doesn’t care about the jabs to his age.

 

“Alright, begone from my sight you heathens.” Grace waved her empty mug at the crew.

 

As the Tempest members filed out, all eager to get out and have some fun before they spent months on the icy planet from hell. Grace turns towards the few lingering, making a beeline to the last person she really wants to talk to.

 

“Jaal.” Grace smiled as she stepped up beside him. With the closeness she could feel the faint hum coming off of him. It seemed jittery, sporadic.

 

_ Was he nervous _ ?

 

“I got you access to the cultural center.” She tries not to get stuck in his all to sharp gaze when she talks to him. Instead she looks down at the mug in her hands, rotating it between her palms. “I figured you would like to learn a bit about our people before interacting with them.”

 

“I-thank you Ryder.” He dips his head a little, and she can hear the faint sounds of him sniffing again.

 

_ What the fuck? _

 

Catching herself before she starts frowning at the new alien, Grace reminds herself she knows nothing about him or his culture. Perhaps it was just a tick. She didn’t know and tried not to judge him for her ignorance.

 

“Do you need a guide?” She stepped back. Far enough to not feel the faint hum that came off of him. “I can grab Liam to show you around.”

 

“I am fine Pathfinder.” Jaal declined.

 

“Okay.” She hesitated to end the conversation wanting to be sure he was comfortable. “Is there anything else you need? Questions?”

 

“No.” Jaal shifted away from her, his nose twitching a bit.

 

_ Did I smell? Bad? Ugh drop it Grace. _

 

“Alright, well once we dock just head right, it’s straight across.”

 

Jaal nodded as he crossed his arms and turned away from her. 

 

Grace knew she was being dismissed.

 

“Have fun.” She chirped between gritted teeth before hunting down the other person she needed to talk too. Luckily the tall turian was still in her area off of the cargo bay.

 

“Vetra,” Grace poked her head around the door and smiled at the turian. “I know this is something of short notice but, can you find me a few things.”

 

“Of course Ryder,” Vetra’s mandibles fluttered in what was equivalent of a turian grin. “What do you need?”

 

“Voeld is an ice planet,” She says this with repugnance coloring her tone, Vetra has the same sentiment for the cold as she gives Ryder a knowing nod.  “the wet suits can insulate heat well enough but can’t generate worth crap.” 

 

“So heaters for the suits.” Vetra guessed.

 

Grace fluttered her eyes. “If you can.”

 

“Might be tough,” Vetra hummed as she rubbed her chin. “I’ll hit up my lines and see what comes up.”

 

“Oh you’re the bestest best turian that ever lived!” Grace praised as she flounced around the smuggler. “I’ll pay you back with dextro-chocolate.”

 

Vetra laughed before patting Ryder’s head. “And the other thing?”

 

The smile dropped off of her face as she became serious. “This might be a bit harder to find.”

 

This caught the turians interest.

 

Ryder was the last to leave the ship, after checking on Gil and giving him full access to the Pathfinder’s credits as long as the items were deemed necessary. She fully expected something ridiculous to be sitting on her desk by the time they left the Nexus.

 

The Nexus was bustling as usual. The melting pot of aliens and cultures was something to behold when the station was in a disarray of repairs. Though this section seemed to have been fixed up since the last visit.

 

_ No riots this time _ .

 

Grace sighed in relief as she stepped into the artificial light of the Nexus. Without angry people demanding their families awaken, and it bustling with life.  The Nexus almost looked like the citadel. But it wasn’t. The cracks still showed since the fighting broke out. People, human and alien alike, still carried the tension, the worry of what would be the next thing to come. For months they had only bad news. It was an acceptance of life in andromeda, life was full of shit and there was nothing anyone can do. Even with a Pathfinder out making worlds livable. With only one Pathfinder active progress was slow. Too slow for some.

 

_ It’s good to be the Pathfinder. _ Grace thought with a sullen expression as she moved through the crowded docking bay, heading for the tram system. It she was lucky today would be a day that no one wanted to cuss her out.

 

Of course Ryder didn’t have any luck.

 

“Pathfinder! Ryder over here I have a few questions.”

 

“Shit.” Grace hissed as she sped up her pace as to not get caught by the reporter. The woman was tenacious in her pursuit but Grace did not want to get asked those embarrassing questions that had her blushing all the way through the Nexus and Hyperion.

 

“Ryder! Just a few.” Again the asari called as she waved her datapad around while jogging after her.

 

_ Not happening. _

 

Ryder grunted as she skidded to a halt as a pale yellow salarian stepped into her path.

 

“Oh Pathfinder!” The salarian greeted with a warm tone that Ryder bristled at. “It’s good to see you. My colleague seems to be trying to get your attention.”

 

_ I know! _

 

“Seriu.” Grace coldly greeted the salarian who gave her a wicked smile.

 

The asari that was intent on getting her interview finally caught up with Ryder. She gave a few labored breaths before trying to even her breathing.

 

“You're very fast Ryder.” The asari purred in a breathless tone that sounded far more wanton than it needed to be.

 

Grace frowned at her. “I need to be quick on my feet when dodging bullets, Calrus.”

 

The plump asari smiled then as she gestured to Seriu to begin recording.

 

“Look I got an important meeting I have to attend too.” Grace starts inching away. She would rather be in the middle of a kett base or telling the Archon to fuck off again than be interviewed by these two. “Saving the people, you know.”

 

“It’s just a few questions Pathfinder.” Calrus smiled pleasantly, though Grace knew she was anything but. “We hear that there’s a new crew member aboard the Tempest, one of the new aliens. Is that true?”

 

Ryder narrowed her eyes. This was a tame question, yet she ran it over in her head to ensure there was no double meaning to it. She fell for that last time and it wouldn’t happen again. 

 

“Yes.” She finally said while shifting her weight. “He’s an angara and I hope that everyone will be welcoming towards him.”

 

“I’m sure we will, giving the angara status in Andromeda. Tell us what you think of your new crewmate.”

 

Grace bit the inside of her cheek. The question didn’t bother her, but these women could take innocent things and twist it. “He’s, uh a resistance fight. Battle honed and a loyal soldier.”

 

“Yes,” Calrus pressed. “But what does the Pathfinder think?” She wore a saucy grin with a wicked gleam in her eyes. Ryder could feel sweat beading on her forehead as she tried to breathe through the rising tide of anxiety. Her eyes glanced at the camera before looking back at the thick asari and her evil grin.

 

“I think,” Grace stressed as she grappled for words. “He’s a good soldier, and I’m glad he’s part of my crew.”

 

_ Whooh, dodged that bullet _ .

 

“Is he good in bed as well?” Calrus asked without pause.

 

Grace sputtered. “W-what? No!”

 

“So he’s a disappointment in bed?” Calrus clucks her tongue as she jots something down on her datapad. “Angaran don’t make good lovers, to bad considering how they look.”

 

“That’s not what I said!” Grace clambered for words, but her mouth seemed to spew halting sentences that matched her rising panic. “I’m sure he-they make-no wait, I’m not sleeping with him I don’t know!-shit.”

 

“Well” Calrus smiled, looking like a well satisfied asari. “that’s the end of Temp-tatious. Thank you Pathfinder.” 

 

_ Fuuuuck! _

 

Grace scrambled away from the pair she was sure going to make her reputation worse than it already was. Her face is flaming hot as she boards the tram and ignores the odd looks she was receiving. Facing down the Archon or a barrel of a gun, easy. Answering questions about her sex life, made her want to disappear into a blackhole.

 

Once, after the first initial meeting with the gossiping duo who had just finished drilling her about her sexual orientation, Grace had asked Tann about them. To her great displeasure Tann had specifically asked them to target Ryder, so that the people of the Nexus would know who they were putting their faith into. Grace was a 100% sure it was a unique form of torture he was putting her through for telling him he can take his lumpy head and shove it up Addison's ass after he told her she was an incompetent Pathfinder. 

 

Taking a calming breath, Grace stepped out of the tram onto the Hyperion. She strutted forward with confidence. She wore a fierce frown on her face hoping that none of the medical staff would bother with inquiries. Most were inquisitive minds who wanted flora samples to study, or deliveries to Prodromos. But Grace was a woman on a mission.

 

A mission to see her brother.

 

Ryder always made time for her brother, he was the first place she went. It didn’t matter if Tann demanded her presence, or if Addison was breathing down her neck, Grace always made time for her brother.

 

Making her way through the medical wing, Grace headed towards the little office tucked in the back off to the side. Where a private room had been set up, just for her Neb. 

 

“Hi Henry, how’s my brother?” Same question that was followed up by the same answer. She knew how Henry would turn, looking surprised to see her before giving that same sad smile.

 

“Stable and no change in his vitals.” He reported while moving towards the exit. He always gave her privacy when she visited Neb, even though this was his office. If he had questions he always did it after her visit.

 

“Thanks Harry.” Grace waved him goodbye as he left before slipping behind the curtain to see the male that looks so much like her lying still on a cot.

 

It always psyched Grace out when she looked at him laying there with his hands at his sides while he slumbered days away. 

 

_ Any minute, _ she thinks, he’ll wake up with that stupid grin and squinty eyes. He’ll mumbled something techy to her that she doesn’t understand before laughing at her embarrassing low intellect on the matter.

 

But he doesn’t wake up.

 

“Nebby Nebs.” Grace sang as she flounced into the chair beside his bed. “I brought you those chips you like. The nasty sour ones.” She crinkled the bag that she pulls from her pocket, watching his face intently for any sign he can hear her. 

 

Grace always brought him gifts, bribes she hoped would bring him back. It was stupid, she knew. Nebula probably couldn’t hear her, didn’t realize that she sat next to his bed for an hour or two describing what she had gone through and wishing he was awake. That she missed him.

 

“You’re not going to believe what I did!” She leaned forward placing the food at his bedside, where the other collection of gifts sat. “First contact bro, and I’m not talking the kett assholes.”

 

“You should see these guys. They’re huge! Like Hanar tall and bodybuilder broad.” Grace hummed. “They look kinda like big colorful cats, you know the ones from earth. Speaking of home, they all seem to have these blue, blue eyes.” Grace sighed as she scooted the chair closer and grasped Nebs hand. It was a little cold. 

 

Humming she rubbed it between her hands before tucking it under her chin. “I actually managed to get one on board the Tempest.” She dropped her voice a little as she glanced out of the curtain they installed to ‘provide’ privacy. “He’s super scary, always scowling and staring. He’d give dad his run for his credits. I kid you not the guys always glowering…..”

 

“I can’t wait for you to meet them.”

 

She fell silent as she stared at his slumbering face. A face she feared she would never see animated again with emotions. She was scared she would never see the upside twitch of his lips as he pulled a lopsided smile. She was terrified she’d never see those charcoal gray eyes, so similar to her own, as they looked at her with secrets yet to be explored.

 

Grace closes her eyes as unbidden memories play behind her lids. Memories of laughter and late night discussions. Whispers of almost lovers and tears of broken hearts. Voices intertwined in a duo that only twins could accomplish.

 

Grace missed him terribly. The had been together their whole lives. Even when her father shipped Neds off to the military in hopes of ‘maning’ him up. Poor sensitive Nebula who was scared of his own shadow. Who sought his sister for protection, even against the man they called father.

 

“I got ambushed again by those reporters.” Grace sucked in a sharp breath as she tried desperately to control the spiraling emotions that were unwinding. “You know the ones who ask those-those questions…..Nebby oh god, I am so sorry. I should have never forced you here. Spirits I’m so sorry. I-I don’t know how you can forgive me. I’ve fucked up, I’ve fucked up.” Grace makes a small keening noise before choking off the emotion that threatens to break the facade she has created.

 

“George.” Gulping air to clear her mind she leaned forward pressing her forehead to his limp hand. “George.”

 

He was going to hate her when he woke up. Neb didn’t want to come here. He hated going to new places. The unfamiliar scared him to the point that he would just shut down.  But Grace in all her glorious stupidity just couldn’t let their father go. Not the grieving man who had cried alone in his room after their mother's small funeral. She just couldn’t let her father go alone, and now he was dead because of her.

 

_ Shittiest sister in all andromeda. _

 

As tears gathered on her lashes, Grace wiped them away. If she didn’t cry when her father died, she wouldn’t cry now. 

 

“George.” Grace touched the tips of her fingers to his cheek. “Baby brother….I am so sorry.” She bit the inside of her cheek while blinking back her tears. 

 

_ Ryder’s don’t cry _ .

 

“I should have never made you come here. I should have listened to you. I’m sorry I failed to protect you. I’m so so sorry.” She wanted to apologize more. Till her jaw hurt and her voice was raw, but Grace knew how useless it was. The words she spoke fell on deaf ears. 

 

Groaning, Grace stood and stretched. Taking a moment to lock away the weakness in her heart, she pulled a smile on her face.

 

“I’ll stop by before leaving again. Love you Nebula.” She leaned forward pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

 

Making her way out, Grace nodded at Henry and smiled at some of the groggy people who had just come from cryo. At least the ones that looked her way.

 

Diverting her attention away from the near episode she almost had, Grace started making a mental checklist of all the places and people she could see before going to Tann’s office. She was at four when she noticed the whispers around her. Stiffening, Grace looked around, trying to see if it was another person coming to blame her for their problems. Or perhaps an angry colonist whos family still slumbered. Or-

 

She stopped short to gape at the large male standing in the corner looking like a kicked puppy as Nexus security interrogated him.

 

_ How-why…. _

 

“Jaal?” Grace called as she rushed over toward him before one of the officers did something stupid. Like upset the small balance she had made.

 

“I’m telling you Lanthou” The shorter of the two turians jabbed his finger towards Jaal who looked worried down at the taloned hand. “he’s not suppose to be here, let take him to Kandros.”

 

“Or,” The female of the pair swatted his hand away from the angara while keeping a calm tone that her partner couldn’t seem to grasp. “we call the Pathfinder. I’m sure she’s not far from here.” 

 

“Yes I’m right here.” Grace spat a little to harshly as she approached the group that turned to her in surprise.

 

“Ryder.” The angara greets her worried gaze with a small helpless wave. Though the big alien seems to relax in her presence as she shoves the two officers out of her way.

 

“Are you okay?” She asked, looking him over.

 

Jaal merely hums in reply and before he can say anything her attentions being pulled towards the two turians. One she recognizes from Kandro’s squad. A good apex soldier, Lanthou whose pale yellow markings stood out against her white faceplates. The other she doesn’t recognize, but he seems to be very disproving with his brow plate drawn tight together. 

 

“Is everything alright?” Grace directs this question at Lanthou who gives her a small turian smile.

 

“Of course Pathfinder.” Lanthou started only to be cut off by the male.

 

“No.” The other officer seeths. “He’s wandering around this place, we received no word that the  _ alien _ should have any access of the Hyperion. I don’t see how Dir-.”

 

“Enough Spry.” Lanthou snaps as she waves off his concerns. Before looking back at Ryder. “We were just surprised to see our  _ guest _ here. Tann informed us that there would be an angara, but we were expecting him on the Nexus, in the cultural center.

 

“I see,” Grace smiles at Lanthou, whose mandibles flutter in return. “I’ll take this from here. Thank you very much, and I’m sorry for causing a ruckus.” 

 

“Pathfinder.” Spry growled. “I had hoped that you would be better than this. Who knows what it could have done-”

 

“ _ Excuse me? _ ” Grace hissed as she stepped forward, challenging the male who dare to speak down to her. “Better than what?” She snapped. “I didn’t realize prejudice between species still existed. And as far as  _ Jaal _ is concerned I said I would handle it.”

 

“That’s not wha-”

 

“Sure as hell wasn’t. He’s  _ mine _ . Part of my crew, part of my responsibility. So you can take your snarky ass and beat it.” 

 

The turian sputtered for a moment while Lanthou laughed. 

 

“You heard her.” She smacked her companion. “Let’s get going.”

 

“And tell Kandros I’ll stop by to talk to him.” Grace hinted at the threat that lay between her words. She was the Pathfinder, but also good friends with the head of security.

 

“Good going Spry.” Lanthou laughed again. “Piss off the woman who’s literally had all the power here.”

 

“Shut up Lanthou.”

 

“Kandros is going to have your hide for this.” Lanthou quips once more as they disappear from sight.

 

“Ugh security.” Grace shakes her head. “You’ll have to forgive them of their wryness. You can be...intimidating.”

 

“I scare you?” There was something in his tone that made her look up at him. Gone was the puppydog look, in place was a disgruntled shock.

 

_ Depends _ .

 

“Nah, nothing scares me. I’m the fearless Pathfinder. unfathomable, unstoppable.” She gave him a saucy grin. Much to her chagrin he seemed to frown more.

 

“Being reckless and arrogant can be very destructive, Ryder. The resistance has lost many recruits because of it.”

 

“Oh boy another Lexi.” Grace drawled sarcastically. “Let me know if you want a physical done as well. I’ll have to clear my schedule.” Grace rolled her eyes as she turned to start walking before stopping to look back at him.

 

Perhaps it’s her annoyance on his casual judgement, or maybe it’s the lingering aggravation Nexus security left. Whichever she held no shame in pinning him with a hard look as her mouth twisted into a frown.

 

“What are you doing over here?” She demanded.

 

Jaal straightens underneath her laser focus and cleared his throat. If he was human, or any other Milky-way species she’d say he looked almost guilty.  “It would appear that I got lost while looking for the cultural center.”

 

Somehow Grace doubted that. The cultural center practically lay on top of the docking bay. He had to take a transit to get to the cryo bays and medical center.  _ What are you doing here? _

 

Was he stalking her? Keeping tabs? That made sense, given his secondary objective was probably to analyze her and her crew. As she puzzle over this she caught sight of his hands. They held the edge of his cloak, rubbing the material between his fingers. It seemed to be a habit. Perhaps nervous one.

 

_ “Stop fidgeting.” Alec growled at George as he tugged at the edge of his blazer. _

 

_ “B-but dad-.” _

 

_ “No.” His voice was sharp as a whip, but he dismissed them soon enough as the ceremony started. Some military proceeding to honor a savior of something. _

 

_ Slowly Grace reached over and tugged on her brothers hand, clasping it within her own. Neb shot her a grateful smile as he tried to blink back his tears. _

 

Swallowing back the memory, Grace looked away from the twisted fabric to his eyes. His wide blue eyes that kept sweeping the area. Looking at all things new, and being fearful yet bold to march forward into the unknown. A soldier. Yet Grace couldn’t shake the memory of her brother, looking scared and lost.

 

Was it terror that lay hinted in his eyes or was it curiosity? 

 

Grace sighed, letting go of the negative feelings as something new twisted in her gut. 

 

_ Sympathy. _

 

“Well come on Big Guy, let's get you where you need to go.” She patted his arm, before withdrawing quickly  as something shocked her. her hand tingled from the contact. Not unpleasant, but it was certainly different.

 

Jaal had shuddered beneath her touch. He now stood frozen with a look of surprise and disgust on his features. Grace winced as she stepped away from the male.

 

“Sorry.” She mumbled before turning to lead the way back to the transit. Her hand flexed at her side as the sensation left. As stupid as it was she wanted to touch him again, to feel that little spark between them. It had an odd  _ freeing _ effect on her. 

 

“Why are you here Ryder?” Jaal inquired as they settled into their seats. To Grace's surprise he chose to sit next to her instead of opposite. Though he made sure that they didn’t touch, even when she shifted to look at him.

 

“Well the ship needs fixing.” She joked, which earned her a disgruntled noise from her companion.

 

“I was visiting someone.” She offered but beyond that she said no more.

 

“Is that not the...medical center?” He seemed hesitant to ask the question.

 

“Yup,” She knew what he was trying to find out. Who she was seeing. Grace didn’t feel comfortable divulging that information to this strange alien, so instead she shifted the conversation to something different. “The cryo bay is also here. They put them together so that the people coming out of their 600 year sleep didn’t have to travel far to the doctors, should things go wrong.”

 

_ Like they did for Neb _ .

 

“I-I see.” Jaal fell quiet as he looked around the space they occupied. He didn’t seem to mind all the stares he was receiving.

 

Grace tuned out the uncomfortable silence they sat in. Her gaze fell to the lights zipping past them as the tram rocked just so slightly. 

 

“Ryder,”

 

Grace didn’t turn her eyes away from the window but she did incline her head towards him. “Yes Jaal?”

 

“I,” He stopped clearing his throat with a rumble that sounded deep within his chest cavity. “I wanted to thank you.”

 

Now she turned to look at him only to instantly regret it as she got caught in his eyes. The enchanting galaxy that was hidden there. 

 

_ Breathe Grace, just breathe. _

 

“I would do it for any of my crew.” She reached out to pat his knee, but thought better of it when he stilled beneath her hovering hand. “You are part of my crew, so better or worse you're mine.” She hadn’t meant it in a possessive way, or anyway other than friendly ‘I’m going to be looking out for you.’ But Grace didn’t think he took it quite like that as his pupils seemed to widen a tad as he quickly looked away.

 

“Yours.” 

 

Grace pressed her lips together at the soft whispered tone. It almost sounded wistful, but she shook her head against that troubling thought and looked back out the window. Letting silence be their company for the rest of the ride.

 

It occurred to her much later after they had departed that she never did ask how he found her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter proved to be harder to write than I expected. I feel so sorry for Grace, shes going to be getting some very mixed signals in the future and shes not really sure how to approach the topic. None of you can tell me that Jaal didn't seem a tad guarded when you first talk to him. It certainly felt that way, especially after the biology discussion.
> 
> Just a side note, I'm writing this from Graces view so that some of Jaals behavior is going to be odd and confusing. This is all attributed to her POV, she doesn't fully understand him than neither will you! 
> 
> Off to the next chapter: Voeld! Seatbelt rules and fire safety is the name of the next chapter.
> 
> Thanks for tuning in!


	4. SeatBelt Rules and Fire Safty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they're on Voeld its time to set things in motions to save the Moshae, unfortunately nothing goes as plan.

 

Habitat 6. A planet of oceans and beaches. Of water that was h2o and breathable air. It was going to be a paradise, one unlike the other worlds. Now it was encased in ice, temperatures below anything the Milky-way species could live in. With scars left from the scourge. 

Voeld, that was the name the angara called it, was a war zone where thousands of lives were lost. The pioneer of ground fighting for the angara. Jaal had  claimed that it was the pinnacle of all their cities, with advance technology.

Grace was having a hard time seeing it like that. Or anything really. Lifting her hand to shield the harsh wind blowing against her face, Grace stumbled through the ice and small layer of snow as she followed Jaal into the Resistant Headquarters. The trail to get from the Tempest to the base had been an agonizing experience, Especially when Peebee nearly slide off the trail into the ravine, almost taking Ryder with her. Had it not been for Drack and Cora, Grace was sure they wouldn’t be standing amidst the angara fighters.

“Impressive.” Cora hummed from the back of the group. “How has it held up against the kett?”

“Well enough.” Jaal turned slightly, looking over his shoulder at the group trailing behind him. Around them Resistant pilots murmured. Their arrival was expected but the excited and tense hum spoke volumes of their hope and distrust.

“The kett have not tried taking the base outright with a frontal assault. Between the air cannons and storm they can’t use shuttles. But we are sure as their numbers strengthen they will try to take it.” Jaal made a disgruntled noise that Grace understood all too well. Prodromos had been in a similar situation till she took out the biggest kett base there. Now they seemed scattered amongst the sand dunes.

“Like to see them try now.” Drack ‘hmph’ed.

“At least someone's excited to crush some skulls.” Peebee whispered to Liam who snorted.

Out of their miserably cold group, Drack seemed to be the most excited to be on Voeld.

_Cranky Krogan likes killing things._

Grace sighed in relief as they finally headed into the base where the walls shielded them from the gales and the heaters warmed her frosty insides. Ryder had wanted to stop and wrap herself around the sunlamp, to soak up the warmth, but the eyes that watched chilled her more than the temperatures outside.

The resistant base was something of a marval. Built in the side of the mountain the tunnels ran in and through the mountain, making the twist and turns confusing at there was no real markers to tell where one was going. Jaal didn’t seem to have a problem navigating them through though.

“SAM,” Grace whispered. “Are you mapping this place?”

_“I am.”_ SAM’s voice droned out the whispering. _“You seem to have a problem with directions.”_

Grace stumbled in surprise as she felt herself relax just a little. “Is that, is that a joke?”

_“Perhaps.”_

Grace snorted.

“Didn’t know I was rubbing off on you SAM.”

To keep herself from looking at the bystanders gaping at her, Grace found herself staring at the large frame in front of her. Jaal walked ahead of the group, leading them through the twisted tunnels. Like a mother duck leading her brood to the water. His blue _rofjin_ fluttered behind him with each step. Its fabric twisted like a hand beckoning her forward where she wasn’t welcome.

He hadn’t been avoiding her persay but he certainly hadn’t been welcoming. Aft first Grace had thought it was an angara thing, till she saw him with the rest of the crew. Him and Liam seemed the closest. They were often at each others side discussing cultural differences. The last time she saw them they had been in the process of making human-angara jokes and insults. Jaal sought Cora out for exercise routines, ones Grace wiggled out of. He always had many questions on her fighting technique or about the huntresses she trained with. Him and Peebee discussed in depth remnant technology. It was all jabber to her. Jaal sought out each member of the Tempest, but avoided her presence. He talked to all the crew in a relaxed manner, but when it came to her he was always tense and stand offish.

_Grace poked her head into the tech lab, her eyes settling on the bulky form of the resident angara._

_“Hey there big guy!” She cheerfully bounced into the room. Her hopes of actually making head way were high today. Especially after she bumped into Liam who told her how well Jaal was getting along._

_“Ryder.” He rumbled placing some containers down as he turned to look at her._

_“I heard you moved from the crew quarters, I’m sure the bed aren’t comfortable. Do I um need to order anything to make you more at home here?”_

_“No, I appreciate the gesture, but your ‘Initiative’ has nothing to offer.” He almost sounded offended rather than pleased she would take the time to offer._

_Grace gritted her teeth. Ever since the Nexus Jaal had been actively, not hostile, but certainly rude enough that she considered air locking him at points._

_“Oh.” Grace bit her lip to keep from snarling something rude at him. She had been constantly trying to get to know the male, or his culture, but Jaal didn’t seem to open in the sharing department._

_He nodded at her before turning around, back to the slim containers he had been fiddling with. Grace inched closer, wondering what it was he was doing. One container was unlabelled, the other she recognized._

_“Is that...are those lotion bottles?” Grace’s brow furrowed in confusion as she looked at the blast-o space floral lotion._

_“Yes,” Jaal glanced at her, giving the slow studying look, before picking up the hanar produced product. “Vetra gave them to me, after she learned I enjoy making my own scents.”_

_So the smelling was a culture thing? Or was it just him? She wanted to ask, but Jaal clammed up if she asked him anything too personal._

_Circling around the table that stood between them, Grace reached out, picking up the unlabeled bottle. Her arm brushed against Jaals, sending the tingling sensation through her nerves where it settled low in her gut. Grace bit her lip to keep from gasping. It was the same as the last time she touched him, a shock followed by pleasant tingles._

_Ignoring the fact that  he jerked away from her, as if she burned him, Ryder brought the bottle to her nose giving it a delicate sniff. It was a spicy scent, something she couldn’t place but it smelt good. Very good. Good enough that she wanted to dip her fingers in it and rub it into her skin just to smell like it. But Grace knew that would be rude._

_And she wasn’t a rude Pathfinder._

_Lip twitching, Grace turned to tell him that she found the smell decent enough, and that he was very talented. She paused at seeing his gaze firmly settled on her. His lips were parted with harsh puffs of breath while his hand was stretched out, as if to stop her, but stopped. He had a pained expression on as he looked at her like she had just finished a striptease and had told him he couldn’t touch. Grace snapped her gaze back down, as she cleared her throat._

_“It smells good,” She offered only to jolt as he groans and snatched the bottle away. Ryder looked at him again, but Jaal wasn’t looking at her. His entire focus was on screwing the lid cap back on. An apology had been at the tip of her tongue when he spoke again._

_“I have notice,” His baritone voice sounded harsher, huskier than it had been before. “That you’re people enjoy more of a floral scent.”_

_Biting the inside of her cheek, Grace glanced at the door. She felt like she had just crossed so many lines. Perhaps the social cues between the pair just weren’t lining up. Grace felt her face flush as she internally groaned at the fact she had probably just insulted him a great deal._

_Hello foot please insert yourself into my mouth._

_“For the ladies mostly.” Grace offered as she slidde away from the table that trapped her next to him. Jaal’s all consuming gaze snapped back to her face, stilling her retreat._

_“Men tend to have a more spicier smell.” Grace breathed out the words, trying to regain some sense of her dignity._

_Lord what would Dad say right now._

_It was a sobering thought that cooled off some of her mortification, enough to allow her to think properly. At least somewhat properly, since Jaal was still staring at her with that all consuming gaze. His silent studying of her face was far more intimidating than it needed to be._

_Clearing her throat Grace gestured to the container he placed back down._

_“Is this a um social thing? Scents I mean?”_

_Grace might be an idiot when it came to angara, but she knew a defensive stance when she's seen one. Especially one she used herself. Arms crossed, back straight, and a frown hinting at the corners of his mouth, Jaal, it would seem, did not enjoy her probbing._ _  
_

"I am here to help you get the Moshae back. Not answer your inquires." 

_It would indeed seem she overstepped her boundaries._   
_  
_ "Ah, right, sorry. I have a terrible case of curiosity. I catch a hint of something I don't know and, like a dog chasing a car, got to figure it out." Something in his close off expression shifted. If he was human she'd say he found her bumbling apology amusing. But he wasn't and she needed to leave before he decided she wasn't worth breathing anymore.

_“Bye!” She said a little too quickly as she scrambled backwards out of the door, hitting her shoulder against the frame as she tried to escape._   
  
Grace had spent the better part of her night thinking about the encounter. Replaying it over and over again. Her embarrassment levels skyrocketed as she realized she had invaded a space that was not welcoming to her.

_It’s my own damn ship!_ She tried to reason only to feel the flame lick at her cheeks as she recalled reaching out and taking a possessions he did not offer her to look at.

Jaal was ever a perplexing puzzle she wanted to figure out. But the more time she spent in his presence the more of an idiot she felt like. Ryder desperately wanted to let sleeping dogs lay, but she just couldn’t seem to let go. There was something about Jaal that kept drawing her back.

In a last ditch effort, before they got to Voeld, Grace went to see Lexi about his behavior. Hoping for some insight.

_“We don’t know much about his people, Ryder.” Lexi pulled out her scanner and started running test on Grace. If she was in the med lab Lexi always had to prick her with something. It was like she had a compulsion to test things. Constantly._

_“I know, it’s just….” Grace sighed running a hand through her hair. The thick locks fell over her eyes again as she flopped down on a stool.“he seems to get along with everyone but me.”_

_“Perhaps it’s your position.” Lexi offered as she frowned at the scan readings. “He might be wary of your title Ryder and the power you wield.”_

_Somehow Grace didn’t think it was._

_“Or maybe it’s how he shows respect?”_

_Respect was the last word she would give his staring. Loathing, hatred, suspicion, murderous intent? Any of those seemed a better fit than respect._

_Lexi put down her scanner as she gave her the ‘mother hen’ look. “Are you eating enough Ryder?”_

What ever crawled up his butt about her Grace didn’t know, but she wouldn’t let his glowering stop her.

“Ryder?” Cora called pulling her from introspecting.

“Huh?” Grace turned looking back at the crew who had stopped short.

“Oh look she’s back.” Liam snickered only to yelp as Drack smacked him.

“Kid, the er Jaal has informed us that we are free to look around while you attend the meeting with the-.” Drack growled, searching for the word.

“Commander.” Vetra finished.

“Right, okay.” Grace rubbed a finger across the scar lining her nose. “Don’t go trespassing where you aren’t allowed and-.”

“We know Ryder.” Peebee interrupted. “Jaal gave us the whole spiel.”

“Oh,” Grace glanced towards the silent angara who was watching with a odd look on his face. “Right just wanted to reiterate.”

“Uh-huh.” Peebee gave Grace a knowing look. As if she knew what Ryder had been thinking about.

_I’m not blushing, I’m_ **_not_ ** _blushing, face is just red from the cold!_

“Alright,” Grace glanced at all the eager faces with a raised brow. “go be explores and don’t do what I wouldn’t do.”

“So we get to tell people to suck our dicks?”

“Liam!” Cora sounded scandalized as Drack laughed a loud booming noise that drew more attention to the little group.

“Oh boy.” Grace facepalmed before she turned to look at Jaal yet again.

“Lead the way.” She waved her hand before her.

Jaal hummed before turning to walk through a large archway with guards on either side of it. The entrance fed into a cavern with vaulted ceilings. Grace took one look around and knew they had reached the command center of Voelds world.

“Jaal,” Grace turned as her pace slowed. “Any pointers? This Commander, she anything like Evfra?”

“No,” He paused looking back at her. “You need not worry, Anjik is more open than Evfra. She is a good friend and comrade. Her title here was hard earned.”

He was praising the woman for all her efforts, there was pride showing in his eyes and affection. Grace wondered if there was something more than friends between the pair. Or the information about angara being hypersocial and very affectionate were true.

_Pin that the think about later._

“So she's not going to snap my neck on sight?” Grace joked.

Jaal looked horrified. “No one will harm you.” He growled stepping closer.

Grace frowned at the sudden behavior change. Perhaps she had insulted his people by implying that they would harm her.

_Shit._

“Sorry I didn’t mean to insult-.”

“Jaal Ama Darav!” A voice called, cutting Grace off, which she was particularly happy since Jaal hadn’t stopped moving till he was in her bubble.

Instead of turning to answer the voice that had called him, he leaned down, leveling his gaze with hers. Grace found herself trapped, unable to breathe, move, or think.

“Do not worry Ryder.” He whispered holding her with that profound gaze. “I will not let harm come to you.”

Her lips parted at the warmth in his voice, and for the first time Grace found that she believed she was safe. In a blink the fuchsia angara was spinning away from her as he gave a greeting to the woman who had called him before.

“Commander Anjik Do Xeel.” Jaal’s excited voice boomed off the walls as he met the pink colored angara halfway. They bumped their fist against the other's shoulder.

_A greeting? Or sign of respect?_

“I have brought the Pathfinder.” Jaal gestured towards her, as she lingered by the doorway, stuck in a trance from his words. Grace mentally shook herself as she started forward towards the pair. It didn’t matter what Jaal had said, right now she needed to be the Pathfinder. Even if it did make her feel warm on the inside.

“So I have heard, Evfra has informed me of your intent.” Anjik’s eyes turned to her, looking her over. The woman’s face seemed tired. If Grace had to guess she would say the commander got less sleep than she did.

“Tell me Pathfinder, what is your purpose here?”

Grace raised her brow, looking between her and Jaal. “I’m sorry I thought that you were informed.”

“I’ve red the reports and talked to Evfra myself, but I want to hear it from you, so that I might know your heart like the stars do.”

“Uh.” Grace reached up tugging on her bun. “Well I need to get into the vault on Aya, but truly that is a secondary goal.”

Jaal shifted looking more intently at her face, a frown twisted his mouth as his arms came up crossing over his expansive chest. Gone was the warmth he had excluded to her moments ago, back was the distant cold suspicion.

“Oh?” Anjik too saw Jaal’s shift as well. her inquisitive gaze bounced between the two of them.

“Of course.” Grace tried to ignore the stares she was receiving from both as she straightened. “I need to settle these worlds, for my people, but I also need the angara’s trust. Can’t exactly live in a new galaxy when your unsure if your neighbors going to put a blade between your shoulders.” Grace gave a little shrug at the end. Something she was sure the angara didn’t understand.

Anjik stared at her a moment before throwing her head back laughing. “You see the bigger picture than.” She reached forward clasping Grace’s shoulders and jostled her a little bit. “You will do many things, I believe.” Grace flushed beneath the praise, her gaze shooting to Jaal who wore a small smile.

Anjik stepped back releasing her. Her weary smile was still curving across her pale pink face as Resistant fighters ran about in the background. This was a surreal moment for Grace. Standing inside a mountain, receiving praise, true honest praise, for the first time from an alien.

_How did my life come to this?_

“I have more than enough soldiers itching to help you Pathfinder.” Ankik gave a sigh as she looked out amongst her command, most of the angara were absorbed in their task, some however were watching the exchange intently. “ The Moshae is very beloved by her people. She inspired hope when there was just fear, at this crucial time we need her back.”

Alec Ryders stern face flashed across Ryders mind at Anjiks tired words. Followed by Addisons hard eyes and harsher words.

_“What hope do we have now that Alec is dead! He inspired thousands to take this leap. Now he’s gone and left you, his inexperienced daughter.”_

“Please” Grace shook her head, banishing the morbid memory. “call me Ryder, only asshates call me Pathfinder.”

The Commander nodded. “I would not want to be mistaken as one.” Grace’s lip twitched at her insipid tone.

“As much as I appreciate the offer for help, I work better in small squadrons.” Less detectable, more efficient, and less lifes that lay across her shoulders should she fail.

“I’m afraid, Ryder, that Evfra has ordered that some of us accompany you. Surely you understand.”

Of course she did. The resistance had been trying for years to get into the facility and double the effort when the Moshae was taken. And should she succeed it would booster moral. But it would be damaging to them if Grace did this alone, with her crew. From a viewpoint the angara would be disappointed in the resistance, they would lose support. And there was nothing more damaging in war than hope lost.

“What!” Grace sounded upfronted as she placed her hand over her heart. “Me and Evfra are best buddies, and he didn’t tell me this. To shame I say!” Commander Anjik chuckled, shaking her head she moved the group further into the compound as Grace continued to talk.

“I understand Commander Do Xeel. Do they realize the dangers though?”

“Ryder we are at war, have been for years.” Anjik turned her exhausted face looking paler in the lamps light. “We know the dangers, but we believe in you.”

_Of course you do._ Grace gave her a small smile. This was a terrible burden the angara were laying at her feet. It was more than rescuing the Moshae and defeating the kett. She was asking Grace to inspire the Resistance again.

_Fuck me._ It was not the first time Grace wanted to run screaming from this galaxy and its backwards views. Aliens accepting help from virtual strangers, high ranking positions being passed to inexperienced soldiers, fucked up monsters and deathly machines. _Fuck me._

“Of course,” Grace nodded as she threaded her fingers behind her back. “Can you tell me when the troops will be ready?”

“They are ready now,” She hesitated just enough for Ryder to know she was about to say something she’s not going to like. “but we have a few problems.”

“We always do.” Grace sighed. “Tell me.”

“We can’t fly you out in this storm.” Anjik sighed rubbing the side of her neck. “Unless you have some way to abate the storm we are grounded until then.”

“Whale damn,” Grace frowned. “Looks like the vault first then Moshae, and the other problem?”

“The facility is protected by a barrier. Out hackers have been working on codes to bring it down, but there has been little success.”

_“If you want, Ryder, I can look at them.”_ SAM offered.

At the sound of the robotic voice, Anjik turned looking at Ryder before glancing around. “And that is?” She asked.

“SAM, he’s my AI.” Grace knew the dangers of telling her the truth about SAM, but if she wanted even a shot at getting into the kett base they were going to need him. “Do you mind? If he looks, his algorithms might be what we need to get pass the barrier.”

“If it helps the resistance,” Anjik tapped her omnitool. “I will have them send it to you.”

“Alright, I’ll have SAM keep an open channel with them. He will probably have a solution before we bring the vault back online.”

_“There is an 82 percent chance that statement is true.”_ SAM informed.

Grace snorted. “Thank you SAM.”

Now that everything seemed covered, Grace shifted her eyes to the map behind them. “Can I look at your maps?”

Anjik nodded. “Of course, if you have any questions just ask Kass.” She then turned to Jaal who had been hovering at Grace’s back through the duration of their meeting. “Jaal a moment of your time.”

Ryder stepped around the commander, giving her a polite nod as the two angara huddle together.

“SAM,” She whispers, barely breathing the syllables in fear that the angara clustered together would hear her. “Can you record what they are saying?”

_“Of course…..Ryder.”_ The brief pause between words gave Ryder a sneaky feeling the AI was trying to be funny again.

Grace narrowed her eyes. “What’s up SAM? You’re usually all Pathfinder this and Pathfinder that.”

_“Am I an asshate?”_ He asked instead. His flat tone made the curse sound all the more funny. Ryder pressed her fist to her mouth to attempt to stifle her laughter.

“What?” She chortled. “SAM you’ll never be an asshate, you don’t even own a hat.”

_“I would prefer to stay off you shit list as you have eloquently put it.”_ SAM intoned

Grace snorted as she stood before the blue spherical map. “You’ll never be on my shit list SAM. your...” She hesitated, unsure how exactly to categorize the AI housed inside her head. Alec had made him, with her mother's helps, so it made him a weird part of her family. But Grace didn’t feel comfortable saying that.

“Special.” She ended lamely.

_“Thank you Grace.”_

Ryder stiffened, her breath hitching at the sound of her name. Closing her eyes she pressed the heel of her palm into her lids. “Thank you SAM.”

_“I believe Ama Davar and the Commander are finished now. Would you like me to playback the recording?”_

Shifting her weight Grace glanced back at the angara making his way to her with steady strides.“No, later, when we are alone.”

_“Understood.”_

“Now,” Grace refocused her attention. She itched to listen to the recording but knew better to. She had a priority as Pathfinder, nosy Ryder came second. “tell me about the map. Did the Tempest get scans of the world before she landed?”

_“Despite the storm I was able to pick up the enemy movement, some bases, and all the monoliths.”_

“Okay.” Grace pulled up her omnitool, interfacing with the Resistance map she pulled up a small version of the area around them. “Lets start planning a course. Bring up all the information.”

Comparing the two, the resistance had more details on the kett and special markers on certain areas.

  
“Jaal,” Grace looked over her shoulder at the hovering angara. “What do these markers mean?” She tried ignoring the fact that he had the disapproving frown on his face again. Perhaps whatever he and the commander spoke about was not a pleasant topic. 

“They are slave camps, where they kett keep our people before they disappear off world.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Grace counted each marker, five in this area housing who knows how many people. And that was only the small portion of the world she could see. Her mind reeled at the fact that there were so many in one area. More so was that she couldn’t stop picturing prodromos where corpses of her people lay their glassy eyes reflecting the last moments of horror before death claimed them.

Grace clenched her fist, trying not to imagine an angara lying upon one of those tables. But the picture of pale fuchsia colored skin splattered with blood left her shaken. More than she should have been.

“I would not ‘kid’ about such a matter.” Jaal  sounded very offended that she would imply something like that.

“It’s a form of expression” Grace seethed as she shot him a look, one that morphed the look of offense into shock. “it means I’m not happy.”

“SAM, start plotting a course to these monoliths. Make sure its where I get to fuck as many kett as I want up.”

_“Understood Pathfinder, updating your nav system now.”_

“And tell Peebee and Liam to meet us by the Nomad.” They were going to be the first ground rotation.

“Jaal,” Grace turned giving him a feral smile. “You ready to kill some kett?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

The view from the Resistance exit would probably breathe taking if it weren't for the fact the the blood freezing blizzard blocked everything in a white blanket of snow.

“Fuck it’s cold.” Grace hopped on her feet across the snow to reach the Nomad.

“Don’t have to tell me.” Liam grunted as he scrambled into the Nomad, followed by Peebee who had insisted that her regular armor, i.e. her jacket and pants, were fine in the weather.

The asari’s teeth were chattering together when Grace climbed in. Shooting the blue woman a look that spoke volumes, Grace started the Nomad. It purred to life beneath her fingertips, Ryder cranked on the heat and shuddered in her Pathfinder armor. If the rest of the world was like this, she might be in more trouble than she had thought.

“Everyone buckled?” Grace asked as she looked at the map one more time. There was a chorus of clicking sounds following her question. Ryder could help but smirk.

“Ya mom.” Peebee snorted as she cuddled into her scarf she lifted from Vetra. Ryder wondered if the turian knew she had the clothing.

“I require assistance.” Grace glanced over to Jaal who held two wrong ends in his hands as the looked at her.

“I’ll help.” Peebee practically purred as she started undoing her straps. She jolted forward, slithering between the gap between the front seats. Liam grunted when she kneed him.

“Jaal can you arch forward, not on my hand, okay just-shit.”

“Okay Peebs, move.” Grace pushed at her shoulder, as the asari elbowed her again. As the she retreated back, Grace reached for her buckles.

“Should have done a tutorial on these stupid things.” Unlatching her belts, Grace shimmed partially out of her seat the nearly lay across his chest.

Her breath caught at the sensation of touching him. Like always there was a small spark, followed by the tingles, but the contact was prolonged, and as she twisted pulling the right buckle from behind him, Grace started to feel a pulse. It was a warm sensation that felt like the sun warming her cold skin. It felt like warm water trickling across her skin, caressing it. Like a lovers touch. Grace could feel her cheeks heat up as she tried not to squirm across the angara’s chest.

_I’m not blushing, just cold._

As her fingers fumbled to loop the strap around his broad shoulders Grace could hear the tell tale sounds of him sniffing. Bitting her lips she refused to glance at him as she pushed the latch into the locking mechanisum before flopping back into her seat.

“Tada!” Grace pretended she wasn’t out of breath while she reached for her buckles again. “Safe as a bug in a rug.”

“A what?” Jaal turned confusion printed upon his face. Grace bit her lip as she realized he looked cute with his brow furrowed and lips twisted in a puckered frown as his eye-

_Stop it now!_ Grace hissed at herself as she looked down at the many latches, falling silent to ignore the strange warmth that had spread between her ribs.

“Idiom dude.” Liam reached forward patting his shoulder.

“Ah.” Jaal nodded. “You have a very perplexing manner of speech.”

“Tell me about it.” Peebee snorted. “You haven’t even heard the worst of it.”

“I see.” Jaal hummed as he settled into his seat, slightly tugging on the straps that were digging into his armor. He fiddled with the buckle a little.

“Ryder,” He glanced at her, eyes brighter than they had been since the first time she met him. “You can follow the lights down.” Jaal suggested. What the broad angaran didn’t know was that behind him the two other occupants of the Nomad were bracing themselves while he relaxed into his seat.

Ryder smirked, forgetting about the complex emotions that arose seconds earlier, as she cast a look at the rearview mirror. _Babies_ , she snorted.

“Yes Ryder, follow the path.” Liam begged.

Jaal frowned as he turned to look back at the human male. “What’s wro-.”

“Oh-kay!” Grace chirped as she whipped the Nomad forward, straight off the cliff's ledge.

The screeches were well worth the feel of her heart dropping to her stomach. Hooting, she laughed at the downwards descent before hitting the vertical thrusters, taking the momentum out of the fall before they hit the ground with a decent thud.

“That was fun.” Grace grinned as she pressed the Nomad onward into the storm. She glanced at the mirror again. Peebee and Liam were still stiffly clinging to the handbars.

Cackling she glanced over at Jaal to see his reaction. Only she ended up swerving the Nomad at the look he was giving her. Back was the warmth between her lungs, hotter than before while her stomach did a funny clenching sensation.

Grace swallowed nervously, looking back out the window. Her hands wrapped around the wheel till her knuckles throbbed. Taking a calming breath she pressed her foot down on the pedal.

_Respect would be the last word she label his stare. Passionate, all-consuming, intense those were just a few._

“I thought you said you’d take the path!” Liam grunts as he peels his hands off the bars. He is sure he swallowed his heart somewhere between his high pitch girl screams and the more manly squawks that came out when they hit the bottom.

“Correction,” Grace whipped the wheel to the side as she navigated past the large pillars of ice shooting up from the ground. “I never said I agreed.”

“You said okay, that sounds like you agreed.” Peebee huffed.

“Come on Peebs? What happened to living life on the dangerous side?”

“Living is the first part of the statement and it’s what I plan to do for a long long time.” She argued.

“Well I don’t hear Jaal complaining.” Grace pouted as she sped through the blizzard, making course corrections when it was needed.

“It was...exhilarating.” He says thoughtfully.

“See!” Grace beams at him before looking back at the road when he simply gives her that all consuming stare again.

“I don’t think we need a repeat.” He added after a moment.

“Losers.” Grace grumbles, though there's no bite to her voice and she’s still smiling.

“What did we lose?” Jaal questions as he looks around at his companions.

“Just Liam's dignity.” Grace hummed while there was a sputtering from the back.

“OOOOOH!” Peebee hoots while Liam slumps in his seat, though he has a smile present on his face.

Perhaps Voeld wasn’t going to be too bad after all.

Voeld was bad. Extremely bad. Between the kett ambushes, the shitty storm kept visibility down, there was a good possibility Ryder would have a frozen grave in the near future. Worse yet was the cold didn’t seem to affect the kett much. But it definitely affected Ryder, even with the updated heating system in the wet suits.

Wading through the ice, Grace peered over the rock at the camp. She could see the pods, where the angara were being kept.

“Report?” Grace asked as she looked towards Jaal who had his rifle out, scoping the terrain.

“There appears to be a dozen angara in holding.” His voice carried over the comms. The wind otherwise would have eaten his words.

“And that’s the ones we can see.” Liam added as he crouched down behind Ryder. “There's at least three times as many kett.”

“SAM,” Grace tucked her hands into her armpits, hoping to starve off some of the cold. “how long till life support stops?”

_“Estimated time: 33 minutes.”_

That meant each kill had to be less than a minute.

_Shit_.

She had been stupid to think getting the vault back on came second to helping the resistance. At this moment the storm made visibility hard and the cold harsher. After she took care of this camp, Grace would be replotting courses to each monolith, bringing the vault back online was going to take priority if she wanted to attempt a rescue or even help the angara.

_No good if I’m frozen to death._

She was going to have to change up tactics. Long range wouldn’t cut it in this storm, and she’d freeze to death before the fighting was over.

It was going to be a quick and bloody battle.

“Alright,” Grace bounced back onto the ball of her feet looking up at the towering form of the kett camp. “I’m heading in. Liam, Peebee take the right. Jaal cover my six.”

It didn’t occur to her, till she was charging the enemy ranks with no cover and just her kinetic shields that he might have no idea what she meant. Which lead her to realizing that she never once discussed battle strategies.

Grace could only hope he was good with that sniper as he was from deterring her from conversing with him.

“Fuck.” Grace throws a biotic barrier as she charges a Chosen.

Twisting her body, Grace spun behind the kett before plunged her asari blade through the Chosens middle. It spasmed around the blade, spewing green blood from its mouth while gurgling something. There was a heavy thud from behind, Grace turned watching an Anointed charge at her. Using the Chosen as a body shield while the Anointed laid down a suppressive fire. Ryder pulled her pistol to shoot off heated rounds taking his shield before he was taken down by a head shot.

Over the comms she could hear Liam whistle before commenting on Jaal’s aim.

_A clean shot_.

Grace smirked as she dropped the corpse and rolled to cover switching to her shotgun. Peering around the crate she counted ten kett.

_Five bullets then reload, need nine seconds between the reloads._

Narrowing her eyes, Grace lept over her crate before jumping towards the chosen cluster. She used her fist, driving it into the ground. The metal groaned beneath the hit, as a biotic wave pulsed outward, knocking the kett off their feet.

With a roar Grace pumped her shotgun, exploding heads left and right before diving for cover again to reload before popping off to finish off the last staggering kett.

In the distance she could hear the recoil of a sniper hit incoming kett who were trying to flank her. Grace found herself panting with a smile on her face as she knew she was probably giving the angaran a hard time.

_On the job training is always the funnest._

As she drove for cover again, her kinetic barrier dropped as a spray of bullets took it down. Hissing Ryder flexed her fist as she did a quick look to see a Destined, Anointed duo work together. Between the thick smog, which cloaked them, and the kett automatic weapon, Grace was officially pinned.

“Liam!” Grace called over comms. “I need a Destined taken down.”

“A bit busy Pathfinder.” Liam grunted over the comm, there was an eerie familiar shrieking noise Grace recognized that wraths made.

“Shit, Peebee,” Grace called as she popped off a few rounds before ducking again to avoid getting hit. “ Liam need help.”

“What about you?”

Grace huddled further into her shelter as a spray of bullets bounced off the metal wall. The chill of the weather was slowly seeping into her suit, and despite the sweat trickling down her skin, Grace could feel her movements getting slower the colder she got.

“I’m fine,” Grace barked “now go.”

Drawing her pistol, Grace fired off a few shots into the blue cloud before ducking again. It was no use, she was going to have to use a biotic charge and hope her shields held off long enough to take cover again. Limbs shaking from anticipation, Grace prepared her run when her comm crackled to life.

“Ryder,” Jaal calm toned relaxed the heavy thumping of her heart. Something about his overall control of the battlefield translated across the comm, soothing the anxiety that always formed in the pit of her stomach amidst the fighting.

_“I will not let harm come to you.”_

A warmth lit in her veins, Ryder limbs stopped shaking as her breath evened out. Even being in the middle of chaos, Grace had found her eye of the storm. And it had come from the most unlikely of places.

“I can take out the Anointed if you use those biotics of yours to clear the smog.”

“Biotics?” Grace risked another glance at the blue smokescreen. “You want me to use a biotic blast?”

“If that is what you call it.” Jaal chuckled, a sound she hadn’t heard before. It was nice.

Grace gave a giddy laugh as she bounced on the tips of her toes. “For you Big guy, anything.”

“Yo, less flirting more killing.” Liam hollard.

“Not flirting Liam!” Grace hissed as a bullet scraped against her helmet.

_Piss!_

“Alright, here we go.” Rolling, Grace threw a shockwave, the metal bridge shuttered beneath the attack, hitting the smog down the center dispersing it into the atmosphere.

Sweat trickled down her face as she watched the Anointed fly to the side, knocking into some crates. In a rapid session three bullets hit the kett. First two taking out the rest of its shield, the last one hit right between its eyes splattering the ice below with acid green blood.

Before Ryder to voice her thanks, something caught her attention.

The Destined was nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck!” Grace jolted as she saw something glint to her left. Stumbling she jumped back just enough for the ketts blade to slice the air she had once been.

“Ryder!” Jaal barked, “Get back.”

“I can’t!” She snarled, dodging another swipe before using the shotgun to block the second blade.

The Destined made clicking noises before ducking as a bullet ripped past its head. It smashed something on the ground, creating a thick blue cloud to disappear in while Grace spun blindly around.

“Fucking shit, hell no you sneaky bastard!” Grace jumped before launching herself at the ground causing a nova, the biotic wave cleared most of the smoke, and by the sound of the thud behind her, Grace would assume that the Destined had been caught too. Spinning she whipped her shotgun against its forehead, causing a spray of blood to hit her chest before she brought the gun down, crushing it’s skull beneath the steel stock.

“Shit Ryder,” Liam sounded winded as he dropped to her left. Despite his breathless state when she looked at him, he appeared unharmed. “I think it’s dead.”

“You think?” Grace panted before she wiped the brainmatter of her breastplate. “It’s still twitching?”

“Probably because it just took a shotgun to the face.” Peebee slid over some crates kicking a dead chosen in the head.

“I guess that could cause the synapse to keep firing….maybe.” Grace gave a brief thought to the matter before dismissing it. “Okay, Jaal keep look out, Peebee Liam lets get to releasing those angara.”

She had them sweep left, to the larger cluster of holding cells, while she made a trek to the roof. Her footsteps faltered as she caught sight of an angara sunlamp.

“Found a heater.” Grace called over the comms she debated if she had enough time to soak up some warmth before releasing the angara. The choice would be taken from her hands as Jaal was snarling something across the comms.

“Incoming kett!”

“Shit.” Grace dropped down to the crates below, being the closest to the dropship, she was going to have to make a lone stand for a few minutes.

Even with all the blood pumping in her system, Ryder could feel the cold seeping into her bones. Her ligaments were stiff and she felt sluggish in the on slaughter of wind knocking her petite form about. It was going to be a struggle keeping the kett at bay while her team regrouped.

_Really would hate to die today._

There had to be a solution. Grace glanced at the shuttle to the surrounding area till her eyes landed on four small canisters huddled together. Her lips curled into a smirk as she rushed to get closer.

_Perfect_

“Bottoms up boys!” Grace yelled as she plucked the grenade from her hip and tossed it. The shell hit the ground, blinking red light flashing while rolling into a cluster of explosive canisters.

_“Ryder”_ SAM’s voice fluctuated, sounding as worried as a robotic voice could. _“by trajectory, you are in the explosion radius. I advise moving.”_

“Well shit.” Grace grunted as she rolled, trying to flash jump into cover.

She didn’t make it.

The force of the explosion catipulted her into the air, only to hit the ice face first with a thud. She slid a few feat before coming to a stop. It would seem her kinetic barrier and biotic shielding took the brunt of the blast. Grace had been lucky.

_“Your a fucking idiot,” Nebula laughed as he watched his sister struggle with the kickback of the rifle in her arms. “Here brace your body like this, so you won’t fall back on your ass again.”_

_“Shut up Neb!”_

_“Pathfinder,”_ SAM’s voice pulled her from her daze.” _your helmet is cracked.”_

“Noted.” Grace grunted as she lay against the snow, trying to regain her breath. And pieces of her dignity. She could hear the hiss of air escaping through the cracks of the helmet.

_Really hoped no one saw that._

Comms were going off the chain with a chorus of concerned voices, the most notable one being the angara who spoke excessively loud.

“RYDER!”

“M’fine!” Grace lifted an arm, waving before flopping back down.

_“I would advise fixing the hole in your helmet Ryder.”_ SAM nagged.

“Okay SAM.”  Grace said through gritted teeth as she slowly shifted into a squatting position. Lifting her arm she allowed the omni-tool interface to run a sealing protocol. Once the protective glass was fixed, Grace stood to look out amongst the cooling flames of the burnt kett bodies. Those who hadn’t died in the explosion were picked off by Jaal it would seem.

_He’s as good as Nebs._

The thought brought an odd burning sensation to her back.

“Ryder!” Liam hollard. “You're on fire.”

“What-no I’m not-ah shit your right!” Grace jerked trying to pat the fire out on her shoulders.

“Stop, drop, and roll bitch!” Peebee yelled as she gathered snow to through at the Pathfinder.

  
Voeld really did suck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This monster chapter was a terror, I don't usually write fighting scenes so I had to flex my brain muscles to write a coherent piece that flowed properly. Forgive me for any mistakes that pop up, I went through this three times, but only one person can see so much! 
> 
> If you got any questions please send me a message through my tumble account: LadySpaceRadio.
> 
> Next chapter might be a little late as I got finals next week. But it will be worth the wait as Grace finally confronts Jaal on his perplexing behavior.
> 
> Next time: 'Do you hate me?'
> 
> Thanks for tuning in!


	5. Heart to Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frustrations peak, arguments happen, intentions are confronted. Grace finally explodes on Jaal which will lead to a heart to heart. Is it just her or does the angara hate her?

 Gaarul was regretting joining the resistance.

The weeks of spending in the sunless place as a new recruit had been worse than the backend of a fiend. He had hoped that when he signed up it would be Aya where he was deployed. A foolish thing now that he thinks about it. A hopeful thought that only a pup would have. He was young for recruit standards but far from a pup.

Now he feared this abominable planet would be his grave. He’d never see his sisters or brothers again. His mothers and fathers would grieve his passing. And Ehnal...

 _Ehnal_.

Skin a lush green like the plants of the hidden paradise of Aya, heart as bright as the stars themselves. Ehnal was his _Taoshay_ . His _culum mea_. He had recognized her scent the moment he met her. They were made of the same light. Both had known they were meant to be.

Ehnal would never accept him if he was dead!

A sob worked the way to the back of his throat as he huddled deeper into the snow. Around him guns fired, his team yelled orders at one another hoping they wouldn’t be the next corpse sprawled across the ice in this forgotten wasteland.

Garrul hadn’t meant for his life to end like this. He had plans. They both did.

Ehnal wanted to do something for their people. Gaarul wanted to make her proud. So here he was weeping behind the crash wreckage of an angara ship, being yelled at the a superior officer to _skkuting_ shoot. Ovulaa didn’t even care he had a _hole_ in his arm.

Gaarul bemoaned as he started rocking against the twisted metal frame that had once been an angara supply shuttle. The dead eyes of the pilots still stared hauntingly at him from the left.

They had been sent to check the crash site of this shuttle. He had a bad feeling from the start, even told the lead of the mission this. But she had told him, none to kindly, that he needed to stop bellyaching. But he knew.

_He skkutting knew!_

It had been a kett ambush.

He was going to die. Gaarul knew this, voiced it rather loudly to Ovulaa who had hissed at him to shut up and shoot.

“Stop whining pup and get your gun.” Ovulaa snapped as she ducked again.

“I’m shot!” He cried.

“It’s a scratch!” She roared back.

But there was so much blood, the warm substance covered his hands. It made gripping his gun hard.

Gaarul wept harder.

“We are all going to die here.” He whimpered.

“ _Skkutting_ shut up!” Ovulaa yelled as she laid down the cover fire before ducking behind some warped metal from the crashed ship.

“Do you hear that?” Gaarul asked as he clutched his arm to starve off the bleeding. Head canted to the side, he listened intently to the odd thundering racket coming from above.

There was a surrounding ‘Da-da, da-da, da-da’ noise that grew stronger as each second ticked by. The angara glanced at one another before looking up at the sky, wondering if the kett had reinforcements coming. Though the steadily growing noise did not sound like any engine they knew.

Gaarul opened his mouth to voice his concerns when he heard the strangled singing in an odd dialect he had never heard before.

_‘I’m on the highway to hell, on the highway too-.’_

A chrome black vehicle dropped from the hill above them, landing on the Anointed that had been leading a flanking. The strong _‘Da-da, da-da’_ noise came from the strangely shaped craft as it jolted forward hitting the Chosen it had missed in its downwards descent.

Shots rang out, hitting a kinetic barrier of the black rover, as it came to a halt. Bright red lights appeared on the flank followed by squealing noise as the tires tracked against the ice. It shot back, hitting the Destined that was hiding amongst the thick blue smog. There was a warbled scream as it flew off the cliff. The chrome colored vehicle then shot forward, into a tailspin wiping out the rest of the kett as they scrambled away from the vehicle.

Between the thumping, the strangled cries getting crushed beneath six wheel drive, the sound of breaking bones, the strange alien song could still be heard over it all.

_‘No stop signs, speed limit, Nobody's gonna slow me down’_

The black transport finally stopped just in front of where the angara huddled. The sounds coming from the machine suddenly disappeared as the door to the side slid open with a hiss.

A strange armored head poked out for a brief moment before holding its hand out in a fist with its thumb pointed skyward.

“Good job!” The alien hollard while it sounded like someone was laughing behind it. “Shut it Liam, you're freaking them out.”

“I don’t think it’s me Ryder.” Another voice emerged from the inside, though Gaarul couldn’t see who was speaking.

“Eh,” The alien shrugged before looking back at the group of angara staring at it. Lifting it’s hand, five fingers spread wide and palm out, the alien waved the limb back and forth. “Have a nice day!”

And then it was gone, disappearing back into its ride where the door hid its strange body from view and the sound picked back up, louder than before. The tires squealed as the vehicle drove off the side of the cliff, the same path it hit the Destined earlier.

In the silence the wind blew through the valley as five angara stood, staring into the distant snow capped mountains not really understanding how they came out of the ambush alive.

“What just happened?”

And that’s how Garrul encountered the Pathfinder.

“Liam! Your turn is over!”

“That’s not fair!” The male huffed crossing his arms as he slid to the side as the Nomad cantered left. “My song got turn off in the middle, at the good part to.”

“You can replay it when your turn comes back.” Grace squinted past the storm as the nomad rocked. She had honestly not seen the cliff before. It had been a lucky break for some angara.

“Bull.” Liam blew a raspberry as Peebee went through her selection, picking some seductive asari song that she claimed had turian subvocals in the background to enrich the experience.

“This is lame.” Liam flopped against the seat like a five year old.

“I didn’t complain when you played your trashy human music.”  Peebee sneered.

Grace’s eye twitched, she had just about reached her limit on the bitching from the backseat.

“I will turn this Nomad around!” Grace snapped as she slammed on the breaks.

Jaal, who had been asleep for the duration of the drive, even missing Ryder’s killing spree with the Nomad, snorted before resuming his loud vibrating snores.

“Yes please.” Peebee whined. “I can’t take being in the car any longer with that.” She pointed a accusing finger at Jaal who unknowingly started the music shuffle to cover up the deep pitched breathing.

“And I’m cold.” Liam added.

_I’m going to kill someone._

Had Grace mentioned how much she hated Voeld?

The monoliths turned out to be the easiest things in Voeld. At least that is what Grace had first assumed when they activated the first one. The puzzle had been simple to figure out, the glyphs were in easy spots to access, and there had been no kett or remnant. Ryder had thought her luck was changing.

She was wrong.

The second one turned out to be a bloody nightmare. Starting with a kett ambush that ended up draining all her lifesupport, making Grace all the more grouchier as she stomped over kett bodies to enter the cave ahead, where worse horrors awaited.

Apparently Monolith caves make a great fiend nest.

Being slammed into an ice wall had not been on her agenda after getting hit by the backlash of an explosion. Ryders whole body ached from the experience. She just knew her whole torso was just one massive bruise. Plus she was freezing, literally.

The puzzle had been a complex torture device and the glyphs had been located _outside_ the cave on a fucking hillside.

To say Grace loathed the planet would be a understatement.

By the time they finished with the monolith night was descending, which brought on a blizzard from hell. Ryder however was determined to reach the third lift before the day was done. Despite her companions worry they pushed forward into the storm.

This turned out to be another mistake on Ryders part. To avoid the loss of the Nomads life support system, and unable to double back to the resistance base or Techiix, the ground team had to take shelter in the third cave. Grace honestly had been lucky to even reach the cave before the storm got really bad. From the sounds of the raging gales they had barely beat the worst of the storm.

After destroying all the remnant, everyone spread across the space. She had switched out Liam with Cora, since he was bellyaching like an asari dancer, and took Drack since the old man was complaining about _not_ coming. Why he wanted out to be in this freezing hell was beyond her. They booth seemed hunkered down near one another, while Jaal drifted around the corners of her peripheral again.

Grace was ignoring him.

They hadn’t talked since the first slave base. Not after he _lectured_ her in front of her god damn team.

_“Is it out?” Graced asked as she probed her shoulder. It seemed the fire hadn’t breached her wetsuit so the seals were all still in place._

_“Ya it’s out.” Peebee grinned as she tossed her snowball a Liam who had been hovering at the edges of their little group._

_“Hey!” He wiped the snow from his helmet before bending down to grab his own snow._

_“No.” Ryder pointed a finger at him. She could almost hear him pouting as the snowy flakes trickled out of his hand back to the ground. “You and Peebee go release the angaran.”_

_“Yes Ma’am.” Liam straighten instantly going into HUSTL mode._

_Snow crunched beneath her boots as she turned to look out amongst the scorched ice. Apparently the heat  from the explosion was enough to push life support back on for a few more minutes. Grace snorted at that._

_“Ryder.” Jaal growled as he marched forward looking none too happy._

_“What’s wrong?” Grace glanced around, worried there was more kett, or that the angara prisoners were in trouble._

_“What you did back there was reckless.” He all but barked as he clutched at his rifle. Massive chest shuddered from his angered exhales as he paced before her._

_Grace stiffened as she slowly looked back at the towering male. “Excuse me?”_

_“Oh shit.” Liam whispered under his breath before Peebee quietly shushed him. Grace ignored them both as she rolled her shoulders, the anger she had been keeping at bay when it came to Jaal hit her like a tidal wave._

_“Did you have a tactical reason for throwing that grenade.” He growled stopping to face her completely. Those blue, blue, eyes burned with displeasure and something Grace couldn’t place. Not that she cared at the moment as her lips pulled back in a sneer behind her helmet._

_She hadn’t thought the grenade bit through but she sure as hell wasn’t going to say that to him._

_“Ya, killing a lot of kett very quickly.” Someone should give her an award for how even her voice sounded, not portraying an ounce of fury she felt._

_“It was reckless.” Jaal huffed crossing his arms._

_Grace twitched. “I’m sorry,” She hissed stepping closer to the fuchsia colored angaran. “Are you the commander of this team? Because I sure as hell didn’t ask for your damn input on my decisions.”_

_Jaal sucked in a sharp breath as she moved forward._

_“Who the fuck are you to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do?” She snarled, poking him in his chest. “I don’t give a shit if you don’t like how I run my operations, I get the job done and it doesn’t matter how, So get off my fucking back!”_

She was still seething. Who the fuck was he to tell her how to do her job. She got enough of that shit from Cora and Tann, and ‘punch me in the face’ Addison. She didn’t need an _alien_ telling her jack shit.

“Ow Fuck fuck fuck fuck.” Grace hopped in place waving her hand about as the console shocked her yet again.

 _Stupid fucking sudoku puzzles_.

Flexing her hand to bring feeling back to the limb, she gave the console a kick.

“Ryder,” Cora brushed past her shoulders coming to stand to her left. “Why don’t you take a break, get some food.”

“No thanks.” She grumbled pulling up the puzzle again this was her….fuck she didn’t know how many times she had been zapped, her fingers were starting to feel like they were missing their tips.

“It might do you some good.” Cora persuaded. She knew something was off with Ryder. How she avoided looking at the angara who was constantly staring at her with a worried frown. The angara in question was in fact pacing behind the duo at the moment shooting Ryder’s back sad looks.

Cora was starting to wish she talked to Liam before they switched out.

Sighing Grace turned looking at the woman hovering. “What kind of food?”

“I got a packet of Lexi’s-.”

“Nope,” Grace made a face, turning back to the console. “I’m good, rather get zapped then eat that.”

Cora pursed her lips. It wasn’t as if she could disagree, the protein packets were disgusting.

“Alright,” She hesitated. “You should rest though, we can do the puzzle in the morning.”

“Oh-kay Number One.” Grace grinned as she tapped her fingers against the edge of the remnant machine. “I’ll take your suggestion into consideration.”

Lip twitching, Cora shook her head as she retreated. “You are terrible.”

“Yup,” Grace turned back to the console, the smile dropping off her face. Turbulent waters still churned in her stomach. Anger and hurt still lurked behind all the fronts she put up. Grace curled her hands into fist. Why did it bother her that _he_ said it? She wasn’t even close to Jaal. Couldn’t even make heads or tails if he hated her. Yet the warmth of his words from the resistance base still lingered. The pit of anger grew the more she pondered.

Then it clicked. It wasn’t him she was mad at, it was her. She was mad that she would never be good enough. Never had been for her father, never would be for Tann, never ever for Addison. And now she would never be for an alien she was responsible for making a good impression with. She was always going to be lacking in some area.

She was Grace _‘the never good enough’_ Ryder

“Fuuuuck!” Grace grunted before yelping at the console as it shocked her again.

“Seriously, fuck you remnant. You sadistic bastards.” She just knew they were laughing at her beyond their cold graves.

 _“Ryder, I believe Ms. Harper had the right idea, taking a break will improve brain functions and lower stress._ ” SAM said. Grace wondered briefly if the jolts of shock hurt him before she dismissed the idea. He wasn’t exactly a living being with nerve endings and pain receptors.

“I don’t want to take a break.” Grace pouted, tucking her hands into her armpits. At this point she might have burned off the nerve endings. “It leaves me too much time to think, and thinking is never good.”

 _“Perhaps then talking with your team will help.”_ Grace lifted her brow as she stared down at the odd symbols spread across the console.

“You telling me without telling me I should speak to Jaal, SAM?”

SAM was quiet for a moment before answering. _“That may have been my intent.”_

“We should work on your subtlety.” She sighed before turning away from the shock machine.

Perhaps it was time to take a break, eat something, and maybe-

Unwilling Grace’s eyes fell upon the lone angara sitting and fiddling with his Omni-tool hybrid. Mere hours after Jaal had been on her ship, Suvi contacted her asking if she was allowed to give the new member an omni-tool. Grace hadn’t seen in harm in it and it had been fascinating to see the ever evolving tool.

Ryder closed her eyes against the burning feeling of shame that rolled in her gut. He hadn’t been wrong, perhaps he should have talked to her in private, but Grace had taken it way too far. She still has his sad look printed upon her retina when he tried talking to her again, after the freed angara had left, but Grace had blown him off.

“Jaal.” Grace croaked before she even considered _what_ she was going to say.

To by herself some time she chose to slide down the wall across from him as she chewed the inside of her cheek. Big oceans stared back at her when she finally got the courage to look.

“I’m sorry.” She blurted, writhing her fingers together. “I should not have acted that way toward you.” Grace swallowed as she struggled with the proper words. “I get a little testy when people question my actions and I-I fucked up.”

He didn’t say anything, just kept staring.

Grace made a distressed sound as her mouth opened spilling forth words she really wanted to keep to herself. “I didn’t have a plan, with the grenade. I mean I did, the killing kett fast part was true, and I didn’t realize that I was in the blast radius until after it was thrown. I understand what you said, I mean it was stupid and if I went back to redo it I would do it because I’m an idiot.” She sucked a breath and held it, hoping that her damn mouth would shut up.

_Just a fuck up anyway’s, he’ll find out one way or another._

Still he didn’t say anything.

_I should go._

Ryder shifted to stand when he finally spoke.

“You are not an idiot Ryder.” Jaal gave a pleasant hum as she settled back against the wall. “You are a formidable fighter. It is exhilarating watching you fly across the battlefield with such confidence.”

Grace gave a sigh of relief, knowing that at least she had a little bit of dignity in his eyes at least.

“What you did though,” Jaal continued. “was reckless.”

“I know.” She mumbled.

“I was worried about you….when you hit the ice you didn’t move…” He’s voice cracked with emotions and Ryder was taken back by the honesty coming off of him.

Grace had heard the platitudes before. Cora often played the ‘you done fucked up/I’m worried about you’ routine. With Jaal though he was talking to _her_ , not the pathfinder but Grace Ryder. She could feel his hurt and his worry. He wasn’t saying these things about her status, but her health. Hell he looked ready to cry on her behalf seconds ago.

Swallowing Grace gave him a slight nod. “I’m sorry.” She whispered.

His lips pursed as if he was considering her sincerity before he smiled. It was an expression she hadn’t seen before on his face. “You are forgiven Ryder. I accept your apology.”

And he meant it, she knew he did.

“I won’t be changing you know.” Grace gave him a tentative smile. “I will probably always be reckless.”

To her surprise he laughed. “Mmm yes I don’t think you will, luckily I’m a better shot at long range.” Grace felt she should be insulted at his playful candor, but found herself smiling instead.

“I’ll keep you safe Ryder.” He promised suddenly, looking very intense at her eyes as if he was urging her to believe him.

She had to look away, too embarrassed to keep looking at him when he said such things with his earnest expression. “I’m a big girl,” She tried grasping some womanly pride, but found herself lacking as she spoke in a hushed whisper. “I can take care of myself.”

Something akin to sadness flashed in his eyes as he watched her struggling with accepting the help he offered. “You don’t always have to. I’m here and so is the rest of your crew.”

Grace blinked, swallowing back the little emotion she had buried she’d almost forgotten what it was like to feel...wanted? Safe? Cared for?

Instead of thanking him, Ryder opened her mouth and blurted.

“You won’t always be here.” Grace pressed her fingers together before separating them as she glanced at him then her hands before going back. Jaal didn’t say anything just continued to stare at her.

“No,” He finally conceded. “After the Moshae is rescued Evfra will more than likely have me reassigned.” His tone sounded odd.

Grace bit her lip as she nodded watching him, even though he wasn’t looking at her anymore. In fact he was digging for something in his leg pocket. Slowly he pulled a tube like container from the pouch.

_Toothpaste?_

“What’s that?” She inquired.

“Food, we process everything into paste. Easier to care, fast to eat, and it has everything our bodies require.” Jaal ticked off the facts as he twist the cap off before placing the opening into his mouth.

 _Huh_. Grace wondered if they tasted any better then the craptastic bars Lexi kept forcing upon her. Though she would never want to live off paste for the rest of her life. Even if it tasted like genuine prime steak.

The silence that descended upon the pair was thick. There was still so many things left hanging between them. Unspoken inquires, misunderstanding and a silence that Grace couldn’t overcome.

What did the angara think when he looked at her? Did he even like her?

Grace threaded her fingers together as the frustration of not knowing bubbled within her. And like a wandering mind a little niggling memory came flooding across her thoughts.

_“The best way to get to an answer is to cut straight to the truth.” Alec lectured as Nebula shifted his feet uncomfortably as his own father, who really wasn’t a father, was giving him dating advice. “Like when you shoot a gun, the quickest way to hit the heart is to shoot true.” Alec nodded to himself like it made perfect sense._

_“Just ask her out.” Alec slapped his shoulder, knocking the fifteen year old nearly off his feet. “Be a man.”_

_Be a man, words so often uttered to Nebula._

_Alec didn’t say much more before he left the pair to their own devices as they had been doing before he dropped into the conversation. He did that time to time, like Alec suddenly realized he had kids that he hadn’t spoken to in months._

_“Why does he have to butt in?” Grace growled._

_“He’s right,” Nebs fidgeted. “I should just ask her.”_

_Grace blinked before smiling, she prayed everything went well, that for once someone took time to know her brother like she does. To look past the timid exterior to find the humorous caring man within._

_She didn’t say yes._

Despite the fact that it hurt thinking about her old life, a place she couldn’t return. Or that the memory wasn’t even a good one, it did provide an answer. While the uppity asari hadn’t said yes, Nebula was happy to move on, broken heart and all. He told her he was glad to know, even if it hurt.

 _‘Just ask’_ A voice that sounded far too much like her brothers nudged.

“Jaal.” Grace hesitated as she looked across at the angara who had been happily sucking down his paste.

_Don’t pussy foot, just say it!_

“Do you hate me?” There she said it! For better or worse she now was airing the things that had been kept too long.

The angara made a choking sound that worried Grace for a moment before he lowered the tube of food and studied her with a frown.

“No.” He finally said.

“Oh.” Grace looked down at her hands before glancing back up at him. She should have felt relieved, now however she was more confused about his behavior. “Have I done something to insult you?”

“No,” Jaal hesitated, shifting his legs. One bent upwards so he could drape an arm on it as he looked more intently at her. “I am sorry if my actions have led you to believe this. You have done nothing to warrant my distaste, and if you have tried to insult me I have not noticed.”

“No, I haven’t.” She did want to airlock him after he called her pathetic when she explained the inner workings of the human eye, but she didn’t out right jide him.

Jaal nodded. “You are….inspiring.” His voice had taken on a reverence tone “You carry the weight of many and instead of shutting down you drive forward. It is intimidating to be in your presence.”

“So you….respect me?” Grace gaped at him, not quite grasping what he was implying.

_Fucking Lexi had it right. Fuck me._

“Yes, and admire you.” He stopped before adding. “Though you are hard to read at times.”

“Like?” Grace shifted against the wall, trying to get comfortable. Her hair was making it awkward as it pressed into her scalp.

“Like I can not tell if you are flaunting your title or making jokes at others expense. You come off arrogant and reckless.” Jaal frowned his hand clenching and unclenching. “I come from a family that has great expectations and when I see you I…”

“You're reminded of what is expected.” Grace finishes as she digs her thumb into her thigh. “I get that, I do. My father left big shoes I have to fill.”

Jaal was silent for a second before asking. “Why would you want his shoes?”

Grace laughed. “No, idiom, It means that people expect me to be just like him. To do great things.” Grace blinked as she realized this was the first time she talked about the dead without feeling a pang of regret and guilt.

Taking a deep breath, Grace reached up and released her hair from its confinement. The blue waves fell around her shoulders.

“What I’m trying to say Jaal is, I understand. And I am sorry if I made you feel inferior to what you are.” She paused before tagging on. “You are a great soldier and everyone can take their expectations and fuck off, you are who you are. So do things your own way.”

“You are amazing.” He said this with an awed tone, like she just told him she had eradicated all the kett and his people were coming home.

Grace blushed. “Maybe a little.”

“You downplay my sincerity?” Jaal shifted his eyes scanning her face she hoped wasn’t noticeably red.

 _Blame the cold if he asks_.

“Not good at taking compliments.” Ryder corrected as she probbed her armor thigh. “I don’t get many of those. Insults and threats daily, compliments are hard to come by.”

“Then I will endeavor to praise you more.” He seemed eager to do this.

Grace, on the other hand was horrified. “No no it’s fine, I don’t need false flattery.”

Now he looked horrified. “Why would I lie to you? Is that something humans do? Give others false praise?”

“Sometimes, if they want something.” Grace fiddled with her hair. “But it’s me personally, I’m unuse to getting compliments.”

“Then you have been deprived.” Jaal declares as he places his forgotten paste on the floor. “I will show you the proper way to take a compliment.”

She wanted to say no, but he was so eager and earnest, like a dog, and she found herself nodding before she could think about it.

“Ryder,” Jaal leaned forward his voice washed over her like a warm tingling wave. For a moment she thought he was perhaps touching her. “You are an amazing woman.”

Opening her mouth to answer, Jaal shook his head. “Now close your eyes.”

“Why?”

There was a perturbed look that made her laugh before she conceded, shutting her eyes.

With her eyes closed the sounds around her heighten. In the distance she can hear Drack and Cora talk in low tones, battle strategies, differences between huntresses and krogan. Then she could hear the faint sound of Jaal shifting in front of her. His armor scraping against the ice as he exhales in a steady rhythm. Suddenly her skin was being awashed in the faint hum that came from angara. Stronger than before, the warm tingles that brushed past her armor to wash over her skin bringing forth a pleasant pulse that wormed its way between her ribs.

“Ryder,” Jaal’s voice hummed across her nerves, sending the pulse a fluttering, engulfing her in a warmth she hadn’t felt since her mother died.

 _Cherished, loved_.

“You are an amazing woman.” He emphasizes each word, and the warmth hums along with his baritone voice before slipping away completely. Grace misses it instantly. The feeling was like being wrapped in a large fuzzy blanket on a cold day before someone snatched it away, leaving her too exposed, yearning to take it back..

Eyes fluttering open, Grace found herself staring back at Jaal with parted lips and flushed cheeks.

“Thank you.” She whispers. Her fingers now twisting pieces of hair between them as she tries not to squirm.

“You are welcome.” Jaal smiled again looking extremely proud.

Grace swallowed, dropping her gaze down to look at her lap instead of that all to handsome smile. Seeing his expression, the gentle curve of his lips, eyes bright with emotions, her heart did a funny little flip before stuttering. In a split second Grace found herself terrified at this reaction. She wasn’t stupid enough to ignore the lingering warmth in her chest and what it meant. But it damn well wasn’t welcome.

_I don’t need this!_

She had crushes before that went nowhere. Had a lover that went terribly wrong. Fell in and out of liking various people, but none of them had ever really seen Grace, looking more at Alec’s daughter Ryder. It became all to clear that the Ryder reputation eclipsed Grace. She became less of a person and more of an objective. And when the Ryders name fell to disgrace so did all the ‘interested’ parties whom Grace had once called friends.

Before she left the Milky-way Grace had decisively decided dating just wasn’t for her. It was just safer that way. She wouldn’t have to ever experience the disappointment of affections lost, of getting her hopes up only to have them dashed against the rocks again and again. Her heart was already a fragile thing: grieving the loss of her family. She didn’t need to add more devastatingly tragic romantic adventures to it.

“Ryder,” Jaal’s hesitant voice pulled her back to the present.

Looking up she expected to see him staring, wondering what she was thinking about. And while he was looking in her direction, he wasn’t looking at her. His eyes tracked along Grace’s face, but not exactly meeting her eyes. To her greater surprise though he was fidgeting. Like the day she found him outside the cryobay, twisting the blue fabric between his fingers.

“Yes?” She asked expectantly. What had gotten the angara so ansty?

Jaal fidgeted beneath her gaze,he opened his mouth closed it before opening it again. “Can I,” Again he tampered off.

It brought a smile to her lips to see him flustered for once. Usually she was the one who couldn’t string together two words in his presence.

“Go on Big Guy, I won’t get mad again.” She flashed her teeth at him in a wide smile. “I’m too tired to anyways.”

This seemed to give him courage as he straightened a bit.

“I don’t mean to offend, but may I touch your,” He waved his hand to something above her head. “Tuff.”

“My tuff?” Grace blinked confused before it clicked.

_He wants to touch my hair!_

Grace laughed. A deep belly, tears forming, I just snorted, laugh.

“Yes,” She chortled. “Yes you can touch my hair.”

Jaal perked up all to quickly as he scooted across the ice to sit in front of her. Or more like trap her between his ridiculously long legs.

_Uh?_

Grace held her breath eying the limb and wondering if his kick was as deadly as a kangaroos since they kinda reminded her of the anim-

“Oh.” She snorted as he tugged on a blue strand. His eyes flickered back and forth between her face, watching her amused expression, to the hair curling around his gloved fingers. Chuffing, something Grace was starting to realized either meant amusement or annoyance, Jaal sat back pulling his hand from her hair.

Confused, Grace prepared to ask him if he was done when he lifted the gloved hand to his mouth.

He pinched the black material between his teeth before tugging it off. Grace noticed while his lips were peeled back that he did have sharp canines.

_Hereditary trait? Carnivores?_

The trail of thoughts ended rather abruptly when the pinkish white pads of his hands caught her eye.

_Holy shit he’s got cat hands!_

Grace eyed his fingertips and palms with delight before switching to look at the webbed joints, her study was cut short though when his hand developed deeper into her hair, bunching it.

“Very soft. Do you feel anything?” He inquired.

Grace had to run the question over in her mind a few times since her focus kept diverting to the fact that he was _so_ close. He had effectively trapped her against the ice wall, and while her entire attention was on this fact, he was far more interested in the little strands caught between his fingertips.

“No.” She shifted moving backwards to allow more room between them. She was suddenly very warm. “They don’t have nerve endings but if you touch my scalp I’ll feel it.” She decided to skip the anatomy lesson since the last one went wrong.

Immediately his hands moved up touching her scalp.

If Grace wanted to tell him more about the tendrils he played with the words were lost in the sensation of his pads gently running across her head. Gathering all the cyan strands and petting them softly, he made pleased noises. The electricity he excluded bounced with a hum in a gentle current the pressed against her skin in a manner that made Grace blush.

Shivering Grace uttered a mewling noise when his trimmed nails rubbed across her scalp. She hadn’t realized she made any sound till Jaal shifted in front of her.

Jaal paused, extracting his hands too quickly for her taste. “Have I hurt you?”

“Nope.” Grace pressed her fingers to her cheek, trying to starve off the blush. “Just cold.”

Jaal pulled back his hands completely leaving her hair to reach for the clasps of his _Rofjin_ . Unlatched the material _._ He pulled the cloth from his shoulders and  wrapped it around hers. The  heady scent of his spicy lotion filled her nostrils as he tucked the fabric around her frame. Grace resisted the urge to bury her nose into the blue cloth as she stared wide eyed at the male.

“There,” Jaal’s husky voice held a deep rumble as he ran his fingers absently through her hair again. “Better?”

“Ya.” Grace squeaked as she kept her head down, sure that her face was a noticeable red. When she felt a gentle tug from his handling, Grace looked up quickly, she really didn’t want bald spot.

“Mn-don’t tug-.” Words tampers off as she stared at the male before her.

He was lifting a strand, pressing his nose to it while watching her. His irises were swallowed by the pupil leaving only a sliver of blue around the circumference.

Grace felt the all too familiar fluttering in her stomach as her breath hitch.

_Holy shit!_

Jaal dragged the strands across his lips before letting them slip from his fingers.

“Good night Ryder.” His rapsy voice dropped an octave as it rumbled deep in his chest. He sounded like a big cat purring in contentment.

Grace gaped at him as a shiver shot up her spine while her stomach muscles tighten. She pressed her legs together as a long forgotten feeling fluttered there.

Moving faster than she expected, Jaal stood on his feet and strided to the other side of the cavern, his hands flexed at his side. Grace watched him before dropping her face to her hands and released a shaky breath.

_Fuuuuuck_

She was in trouble. Her rebellious heart it would seem hadn’t learned its lesson. Pressing her lips together, Grace determinedly shoved the annoying attraction back behind its proverbial locked door to deal with later.

There was something about the angara that drew her. Grace delighted in uncovering mysteries, it’s what drew her to the prothean research. One of the galaxies biggest mysteries, and she thirst for uncovering the lost answers. But it was different with Jaal. He was a living breathing person, whose secrets might do her more damage the more she uncovered.

Absently she rubbed her cheek against the soft fabric wrapped around her as she sagged against the wall. Ryder rolled her head to the side, looking towards the person approaching her. Pulling on a small smile she straightened as the old Krogan stomped towards her.

“You hungry kid?” Drack asked.

“Sure, what do you got?”

“The protein packets Lexi packed.”

Grace wrinkled her nose at that. Tasted like salarian bread, which is terrible. Bland and packed full of nutrition the body needs.

“Ya I thought you might hate that.” Drack grunted as he flopped next to her, almost knocking her over. “Here.”

Grace looked at the silver white package Drack held out. “What’s this?”

“Dried meat. Taste better that those _razan_ bars. Nothing puts meat on the bones better than meat.” Drack jostled her shoulders. She often listened to him complain that she was ‘too small.’ When dinner came around Drack always let her snatch morsels off his plate and pretend he didn’t notice.  

“You are the best Old man.” Grace tore the package open biting into the savory meat with a moan.

“He’s watching you again.” Drack grumbled beneath his breath. “Male has a complex.”

Grace snorted, she didn’t need to look to know he was speaking about Jaal. “Leave him be, his cultures different from ours.”

“You say this wrapped in his cloak.” Drack pointed out as Grace settled against the Krogan’s shoulder.

“I’m cold.” She says around the mouthful of food.

“You like him.”

“I like all of my crew.”

Drack huffs before growling. “He is not _logh_.”

“What?” She squinted her eyes, looking up at the old krogan.

“You are a warrior, a leader, he is not _Iogh_.”

“You parenting me now?” Grace chuckled as she tried fitting the rest of the jerky into her mouth. With food in her stomach she was feeling the overwhelming exhaustion settling in.

“I don’t like him.” Drack grumbled, ignoring the jab. “Too feely. Like the women. Talks too much and too little.”

“Like I said,” Grace yawned as she stretched her legs out in front of her. “He comes from a different culture. He didn’t get the luxury of having a krogan grampa to mentor him in the ways of smashing things.” Her mind was a little fuzzy and she was having trouble focusing on the conversation.

“Back in my day if you wanted to mate-.”

“Whoa, no no! Stop right there.” Grace smacked the krogan’s chest as he laughed, dislodging her from his shoulder. “We aren’t talking about sex.”

“Alright kid. Just be careful.” Drack gruffed.

“M’kay,” She yawned snuggling into his shoulder pad again, it wasn’t comfortable, even with Jaal’s rofjin being used as extra padding, the bits of armor pressed awkwardly against her face. Grace didn’t particularly care. The day had worn on her, so she didn’t fight her drooping lids.

“You’re not even listening to me. It’s okay kid, get some rest, I’ll keep watch.” Drack shifted drawing her closer into his side.

  
Grace smiled a little, almost saying something about him being a big softy, but exhaustion claimed her quickly. Later she’d wake a little hearing hushed whispers inquires on someone's intent, but sleep would drag her back before her mind can register that Jaal is speaking of some bond. In the morning she will forget the entire conversation and go on forward into the cold dawn to the vault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I've taken some liberties with the language. Some are in game some are not.
> 
> Razans- Means ‘turns to ash in one's mouth;’ Revolting.  
> Logh- worthy  
> Toashay- Beloved; terms of endearment for angara  
> culum mea- Souls bond; reincarnated lovers
> 
> Song:  
> Highway to Hell-AC/DC
> 
> Okay guys! Updating three days early! Surprise! I didn't actually plan for this to be so conversation heavy but Grace wanted to be a little chatter box. I figured this clears up half of what's going inside the angara's head, of course its not all. ;)
> 
> Oh and before I forget: Happy Mothers Day!
> 
> Till next time: The Moshae's rescue.


	6. Into The Valley of Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mounting the rescue for the Moshae, the horrors hidden in the facility comes to light.

**Chapter 6**

Commander Heckt first heard about the Pathfinder long before she came blazing across Voeld like an untamable fire. The things he heard about the alien led him to believe she was more of a myth the younger recruits made up to raise moral.

 

He had been wrong.

 

When he heard that the Pathfinder was leading a rescue mission on Ja Nihk, Heckt knew long before the order came down from Evfra that he would be leading the squadron into a place there was no return too.

 

His initial doubts about the rescue mission vanished as Voeld’s sun shined down through the clouds for the first time in nearly eight decades. He hadn’t gotten the official reports yet, but he knew who the woman responsible for this was.

 

“I think,” Anjik murmured as she came to stand next to him, soaking up the sun that brought back a flush to her cheeks. Since they had lost their son, there had been a rift between them. It was mending but a broken heart took time to heal. Still though he relished the feel of her weight against his body, feeling her emotions past between them with their electrical bond. She was excited and he was hopeful.

 

“She’s going to bring us home.”

 

Heckt reached out drawing Anjik closer and kissing her forehead. “I have hope.”

 

They gazed out towards the frozen lakes where the reflected lights cast a spectrum of colors against the white blanketed ground. 

 

It would be a few more weeks before the Pathfinder returned. That didn’t stop Heckt from hearing of her progress. Reports flooded in as she carved her way across the icy wasteland. Most of them were good. 

 

_ The Pathfinder took out another kett base.  _

 

_ Pathfinder spotted going toe to toe with a fiend….holy shit she has no guns. _

 

_ Incoming rescued angara, alert medical! _

 

_ Pathfinder strikes again, kett flee in terror upon hearing the battle songs of her black rover! _

 

The Resistance base was a buzz with excitement as the kett were losing their grip of Voeld to a woman who was burning them out. If Heckt wasn’t already impressed, he was now.

 

Still meeting the woman who had done so much was a greater surprise than all she had accomplished. 

 

Anjik had told him to prep his team that morning. Though they made love nights ago he could still feel the warmth of her whispers on his skin. The firm but sure hold she kept on her mate spoke volumes of her certainty of his return. Anjik had faith in the human who had accomplished what the angara could not. She sent her lover off with one last succulent kiss and the promise of more upon his homecoming. So here he stood, team gathered around him as they waited for the woman who seemed more legend than reality.

 

In all his wild speculation, he wasn’t expecting her to be so…. _ small. _

 

Heckt had caught sight of her right away as she approached him with confident strides. She looked tiny compared to all the angara around her. Even the alien teammates she had trailing behind her were a good few inches taller. Black clad from head to toe, the human came sauntering up to him.

 

“You Commander Heckt” The black helmet tilted to the side. The voice, though muffled, held an underlying steel to it.

 

“I am,” Heckt shifted his feet, feeling suddenly like he was a new recruit talking to Evfra all over again. “you the Pathfinder?” 

 

“Sure am.” Fingers tapped rhythmically against her arm. “Call me Ryder though. Anjik told me you’ll be the crew accompanying me to go rescue the Moshae.”

 

“We are.” Heckt stood a bit taller.

 

“Good.” She reached up, removing the helmet and again he was finding himself surprised.

 

_ Blue _ .

 

Heckt was taken back momentarily by the color. 

 

Ironic that it was this color the woman had framing her tan skin. Angara both respected and feared it. When a male proved himself to the angara society he was presented with a blue  _ rofjin _ as a sign of maturity. Giving him privileges and status in their society. It also happened to be the color of their blood.

 

Too see the color such highly respected on the woman’s tuff was shocking to say the least. 

 

That being said, she looked like a typical human he’d seen blurred pictures of. Two odd colored eyes, black as the night sky. Skin that would be considered sickly amongst angara standards. Nose larger than he’d seen on any of his people, with a nasty looking scar runing down the bridge of it. On top of it all she had little white scars scattered across her face, most unnoticable minus the prominent one on her nose.

 

In all she was a strange looking alien.

 

“Feels good to be out of that.” Tucking the helmet beneath her arm she lifted her face to the sky sighing and soaking in the sun. 

 

Heckt wondered if she was like angara, using the sun to heal and for nutrients. 

 

“Alright, let’s get this underway.” She suddenly was looking at him again with a quiet smile. “As you know who I am, let me introduce my team. Since we’re working together and all that jazz.” She spread her hand wiggling each digit at him before turning slightly to the side.

 

“Vetra,” She hooked her thumb over her shoulder pointing at the other alien, a turian, to her left. “My left hand lady. Best shot on the ship.”

 

“And that’s Cora.” Her head tipped back as she pointed toward the other human woman standing beside the turian. “Don’t let her small frame fool you, she can rip you in two with her biotics.”

 

“Ryder.” The woman sounded exasperated at her explanation.

 

“It’s true I’ve seen it before.” The little female shrugged before pointing over her right shoulder at the hovering angara.

 

“I’m sure you know Jaal?” Heckt gave a firm nod, both at Ryder’s assumption and in greeting of his old friend. “Personal bodyguard, best shot on the ship.”

 

“Excuse me?” Vetra shifted.

 

“Oh right,” She rolled her eyes, though there was a fond smile present on her face. “second to Vetra.”

 

“Better.” The turian nodded.

 

Heckt frowned, puzzled by the woman who stared expectantly at him. Hes eyes flickered to Jaal who was just wearing an amused smile, like they weren’t about to go on a suicide mission.

 

Sighing he pointed to the blue male standing by the hull of the shuttle. “Thorians our pilot, he will get us in and out.”

 

“How good are you?” She called as the male straightened.

 

“Best pilot on Voeld.” He boasted. 

 

A smile curved her lips. “Like it,” Again her eyes returned to Heckt, expectantly.

 

“Skaelv and Jalivan,” He pointed out the pair of angara who had been nearly attached at the hip. Heckt had been hesitant bringing the newly bonded couple, but he needed Skaevl and Jalivan would not leave her side. Reminded him of his earlier days with Anjik. “our tech specialist and heavy.”

 

“You make the codes?” Ryder asked eying the only female angara on the team. 

 

“I perfected them.” Skaelv chuffed before she climbed into the shuttle followed by the angara carrying enough firepower to level a building.

 

The pathfinder didn’t seemed to mind the sudden dismissal as she laughed.

 

“Owwin,” Heckt gestured to the fidgeting angara to the left of the sunlamp, he seemed to shy away from the sudden attention he was receiving. “He’s our field medic.”

 

“Know anything about human biology?” She asked

 

“Not entirely.” Owwin hesitated admitting this as he stepped closer to the Pathfinder. Owwin was a damn good medic, but his shy optimism had him often overlooked till Heckt snatched him up. “I haven’t encountered your species on Voeld so far.”

 

“Probably for the best, we’d freeze to death before you could figure out how to fix the problem.” Jaal seemed to curve his shoulders more, as if to protect her from the wind. Heckt narrowed his eyes on the action.

 

Owwin looked horrified. “Do you-.”

 

“Nah,” Ryder laughed waving a hand back in forth in front of her face as if to wave off the medics concern. “I’m fine.”

 

Owwin eyed her critically before his eyes caught a shift behind her. It seemed Jaal’s intimidating frown had the medic fleeing to the safety of the shuttle.

 

Heckt was about to suggest they get moving when he realized there was one last angara anxious to meet the legendary woman. Turning to the side, Heckt waved a dismissive hand at the angara hopping on his feet like an excited pup. In an exasperated tone he started the last introduction.

 

“And this is Gaarul-”

 

“Hi!” The blush colored angara practically bounced forward clapping the woman’s frail shoulders in his hands. Ryder stumbled a bit as Gaarul shook her a tad. “It is such an honor!”

 

“Gaarul,” Jaal growled.”Unhand the Pathfinder.”

 

Heckt frowned at that. He worked with Jaal to know enough that the man had an infinite amount of patience when it came to the new fighters.  _ Skkut _ he often pawned off new recruit training onto him considering he had no time to deal with all the whining and bellyaching the pups often did.

 

It almost seemed like he was-

 

Heckt glanced between Ryder and the hovering angara behind her. Leaning forward just a tad Heckt gave a not so subtle sniff. She had a peculiar scent to her, something sweet buried beneath the musk of sweat and other perfumes that masked it. Armor, gun residue, and even a hint of angara scented oils were on her skin. Still the underlying sweetness clung to his nose. Not as enticing as his own mates of course.

 

Oblivious to his intent, Ryder’s focus was firmly on Gaarul who was explaining her heroic actions that saved his life in a dramatic flare the pup had for everything. But while she’s distracted, Jaal is not. There was the faint tale tell growl rumbling softly in his chest that Heckt smirked at. It seemed his friend had finally found her.

 

_ Interesting. _

 

This would be a development he would forward to Evfra later, after the Moshae’s rescue. 

 

_ If they made it back. _

 

Grace was positive now that angara didn’t know a damn thing about personal space. With Gaarul leaning intently forward as Jaal practically pressed himself into her back, Grace was ready to hiss at the both of them to shove off.

 

She didn’t.

 

Instead she gave a weak smile and nodded as the angara brushed her arm again, behind her Jaal made an odd motor sounding noise. Grace didn’t know if he was talking, like turians have subvocal’s that translators don’t pick up on. Or if he was just growling like a wet cat. 

 

“That’s a uh interesting story.” Grace certainly didn’t remember smashing a whole brigade of kett off the side of a mountain, but she did remember running over a lot of them.

 

“Are we taking new recruits on high risk missions now Heckt.” Jaal asked as he shifted behind her again. 

 

The male had been unusually clinging since they had been on Voeld, and her near death by the explosions. He almost had a conniption when she attacked a fiend head on without her trusty BoomStick. 

 

“Of course not.” Heckt sounded almost amused as he kept glancing between Jaal and her to Gaarul who insistently tried to grab her attention again.  “Gaarul insisted on being here to greet the Pathfinder.”

 

“Of course!” Gaarul puffed up, towering over Grace more. It almost made her laugh in a sense that he reminded her of krogan children. Trying to look more intimidating to get respect. “I had to meet my hero.”

 

“Oh.” Grace flushed, unsure how to take the compliment.

 

Jaal made a low chuffing noise behind her, which made her frown as Heckt chuckled.

 

_ Did he not think she deserved being called that? _

 

Grace almost turned around when Thorian poked his head out the cockpit. “We’re prepped and ready to fly!”

 

“Alright, lets move,” Grace turned to her team, signalling for them to get into the shuttle before smiling at Gaarul who gave her a energetic farewell.

 

“Stay strong and clear!” Gaarul thrusted his fist out, thumbs up.

 

Grace returned the gesture hesitantly. “Ya, you too?” 

 

Stepping back, she bumps into Jaal, who zaps her with the warmth of his bioelectricity, before stepping into the shuttle with the male hot on her heels.

 

Angaran shuttles were a lot more spacious than theirs. From the square footage, to the seats, to the damn seat belts. 

 

_ It’s the shoulders. _

 

Grace huffed as she twisted the idiotic buckles between her hands before dropping them. They did nothing to strap her small form in. She’d be better off on the roof at this point.

 

“You do know,” Thorian tilted his head back a little looking towards Grace with a rueful smile. “All who go into that base never come back.”

 

Narrowing her eyes, Grace wondered if he was trying to scare her or start a conversation. If it was the scare tactic he was short out of luck, she already had the worst scenarios pegged in her head.

 

“Sounds like a hell of a party.” Grace quipped as she leaned back into her seat. Her leg brushed against Jaal’s who stood hovering over her seat. She shot him a smile as small volt of electricity tingled its way up her leg. Ryder had long accepted that this was just what the angara did, hover like a worried mother.

 

“I do hope you will be taking this more serious Pathfinder.”

 

Grace felt her amusement wither and die as she turned towards the deep voice of Heckt. “No need to worry Commander,” She tilted her head to the side, as a wicked smile flickered across her lips. “I’ll kill the most kett tonight.”

 

“That a challenge, Ryder?” Vetra’s dulcet tones drifted from the corner of the ship. Grace could barely see her around Jaal.

 

“If ever.”

 

“You are on.” Vetra’s mandibles twitched as she stroked her gun.

 

“I’m not being outgunned by some aliens.” Skaelv declared as she perked up between Jalivan’s legs. Grace had been shooting the pair curious glances considering they were obviously a couple and very affectionate. She wondered if all angara couples were like this, if Jaal would be lik-

 

Grace bit down on that niggling thought. Ever since the night in the cave she couldn’t get his look out of her head. The way he trailed her hair across his lips. What was he doing? What had been his intent? Something like that would have been perceived as flirtatious. But he was angara and she knew next to nothing about their culture. And that wasn’t from lack of trying either.

 

In the morning she had offered his  _ rofjin  _ back with a stiff smile and morning hair that had yet to be contained. Jaal had taken it with a odd look, almost like he was constipated. She had attempted to talk to him when his hand reached out smoothing down the wild strains before retreating with a small ‘Good morning Ryder.’ 

 

Grace had been even more baffled than she had been before their talk. What happened to make him go from warm to cold so quickly.

 

_ Maybe he’s bipolar? _

 

Did angara have disorders like that? She frowned before pulling her face back into a easygoing smile when Heckt cast her a look. 

 

Later, she promised herself. Later she’d figure it out.

 

_ If you make it out alive. _

 

“Losers have to by the winner a drink.” Grace suddenly said as she glanced towards Skaelv will a raised brow, baiting her with an arrogant smirk.

 

“You’re on human. Me and my  _ toashay _ will win.”

 

There was a blip in her translator, but Ryder got the gist as she patted Jalivans knee.

 

“Hope your aren’t thristy Ryder.” Vetra cooed from her corner.

 

“I get a complimentary one for driving.” Thorain threw back as Jalivan chuffed. 

 

“I’ll buy us all around if we make it out alive.” Jalivan pulled Skaelv close, dropping a kiss to the side of her head.

 

“We’ll make it.” Owwin grinned. He sounded far more optimistic than the rest of the angaran.

 

Grace wondered if he was green in the field before she dashed that thought when Gaarul and his enthusiasm crossed her mind. Just blindly optimistic.

 

“Pathfinder.” Heckt pulled her attention away from the affectionate pair as he began talking. “We should rediscuss our plans.”

 

It was a good point. They had only been communicating via messages as she hadn’t returned back to the base since she was campaigning across Voeld to remove every damn foward camp she knew of and some they didn’t know of.

 

“Go ahead.”

 

“We’ll split into two teams.” Heckt started as he stood from his corner. “Pathfinder and her team will take point, we will provide support and if need be act as a distraction.”

 

“Don’t take unnecessary risk.” Grace tapped her fingers along her thigh as she leaned forward. 

 

“No one joins the resistance to stay safe.” Skaelv nods her head towards Jaal, like they are having a silent conversation. 

 

Jaal shifts, his hip nearly touching Ryder’s shoulder as she tilts her head back. “Perhaps not. But I got to have all my drinking buddies together when I win.” It was easier saying this then telling them blatantly not to go dying on her.

 

“Coming into the landing zone.” Thorian’s voice dropped his playful tones as he maneuvered the shuttle down. “I’ll keep radio silence till its time.”

 

“Got it, let’s move.” Heckt stood by the door as they piled out, guns’ raised just incase.

 

“May the stars guide you.” Thorain called before he was pulling back.

 

Grace watched the shuttle go for only a moment as the pit of her stomach tighten with dread.

 

_ Time to put your money where your mouth is. _

 

Turning she observes the snowy landscape before unstrapping her beloved shotgun and starting the way up the steep incline leading to the kett facility.

 

Vetra whistled as the got to the crest of the hill. “Look at that.”

 

“Big shield.” Cora muttered.

 

Grace eyed it with a frown. “Do you know anything about this facility?”

 

“No,” Heckt stood next to her, looking past the shield. “We know they take angara and that they disappear afterwards. Nothing else.”

 

She gave in an incredible look. “Not even on the force, numbers, what to expect?”

 

Heckt shook his head.

 

_ Well shit. _

 

Grace squinted up at the shimmering shield. Her fingers absently tap against her hip, where an attachment lay, hiding little round discs Vetra had given her.

 

_ “They won’t do much damage,” _

 

_ “But they’ll do enough.” Ryder flipped the little explosive over before smiling. “Should I ask how you got these on such short notice?” _

 

_ “Lets just say I had to proposition an asari stripper.” _

 

_ “Oooh, Vetra I’m telling Kandros!”  _

 

_ “What!” _

 

They wouldn’t do much, but they would do enough. Grace smirked as she dropped her hand. They might be going in blind, but Grace had a plan B should they fail. Crippling the facility would make it easier for the next team to get in. SAM already had instructions on what to do if she died.

 

_ We’ll make it….somehow. _

 

“So,” Grace straightened as she moved forward. “lets crack this barrier.”

 

“There should be a system node we can hack around here.” Skaelv brought up her omnitool scanning the area.

 

“Alright.” Grace prowled around the barrier looking for the node. “SAM, how’s that program coming?”

 

_ “I should be able to accelerate the kett code to create a thinning in the barrier, enough to cause a small hole for you to bypass.” _ Grace got the jist of what he was saying. She may not know anything about tech or barriers like she knew how to shoot and kill, but she knew what he meant there.

 

_ F in computer science my ass _ .

 

“Found it!” Cora waved, standing next to a pipeline barely visible beneath the snow.

 

“Good job Harper.” Grace patted the biotics shoulder as she squatted down. While SAM hacked her omnitool pinged. It was an alert system she and the AI had set up to know where and when to place an explosive. 

 

_ On the other side would do enough damage to cause fluctuations in the shields coding. _ It would be easier to hack then. Or at least that’s what SAM had theorized. 

 

_ “I have caused a small hole to the left of you Ryder.” _ SAM pointed out.

 

“It worked!” Owwin whooped as the group navigated towards the hole. 

 

_ Step one, get through the barrier: check. _

 

“Vetra, find us away in. Jaal, Cora keep watch.” Grace nodded to her team as she stepped back to the pipe that wasn’t being blocked by the barrier any longer. As she dusted off the snow, she noticed the angara gaping up, murmuring between themselves at the fact that  _ they had finally made it. _

 

Words she had uttered the first time she awoken in this nightmare.

 

_ Let’s hope this isn’t a repeat. _

 

“I got a ventilation shaft Ryder.” Vetra commed.

 

“Good enough.” Grace dusted off her hands as she watched the disc started blinking with a faint red light. 

 

A faint whisper of air moving around behind her made the small hair on the back of her neck stand on in. Sucking in a breath, Grace spun on her heels as the tale tell growl sounded. Ryder had just enough time to roll to the side as a cloaked wrath lunged at her. Ripping her shotgun out, Grace almost pulled the trigger till the wrath yowled in pain. The left eye socket exploded with a blade punching through the top of its head and protruding out. Green blood splattered her front.

 

“Really.” She looked up at the angara sniper with a perturbed look. Jaal merely offered his hand to her.

 

Taking it she was yanked forward with enough that had her stumbling into his chest. Hands flat against his abdominal, she could feel the faint thundering of his heart and the pulse she associated with his bioelectricity. His eyes caught and held her as he dipped down. Graces breath hitched as she watched his nose twitch and those beautiful oceans fasten to her eyes. 

 

“One,” Jaal breathed before stepping back suddenly, leaving her there to gape at him.

 

Grace sputtered. “That doesn’t count!”

 

“Yes it does Ryder,” Cora called from above as she and Vetra shared a laugh.

 

“Cheaters.” Grace huffed making her way towards the waiting team. Her cheeks flushed as Ryder realized she had been too caught up in watching Jaal that she hadn’t noticed everyone else watching them. 

 

“Sore loser!” Cora taunted.

 

“What she lose?” Owwin asked, edging towards the group with intrigued.

 

“Just her dignity.” Jaal answered without skipping a beat.

 

Grace gasped. “Blasphemy!” She swatted away his ‘helping’ hand to climb up the small ledge herself.

 

Jaal merely laughed as he lifted her up with ease. His hands lingered a bit longer then they should on her hips as she grabbed onto the ledge with the new height vantage. Grace tried to regain her sense as she stepped forward, into the shaft to peer through the grates. She didn’t want to admit it, but his casual touching was having an effect on her. A yearning that she hadn’t felt before.

 

Shaking off the after effects of his touch Grace peered through the vent, down into the large room below them. Silently began counting all the kett milling about.

 

“15...17.” Grace held her shotgun closer as she tilted her head and looked at Heckt with a raised brow.

 

He peered down and nodded.

 

“On three, I’ll provide an opening.” Grace drew in her biotics, wrapping a dark mass field around her fist, ready to smash the blinders away. “You take out the bottom level, we’ll get the top tier and straggalers”

 

Heckt nodded.”We’re ready Pathfinder.”

 

Silently rolling her eyes at the respectful tone he used on  _ her _ title. Grace started her quiet countdown.

 

“1...2...3” With a flick of her wrist, the metal elongated pieces of the grate snapped beneath her biotics, hitting the ground below with a loud bang.

 

The kett didn’t have time to recover from their surprise before they were pouring out of the vent like an angry swarm of biotics and bullets, taking down half the kett before they dispersed taking cover.

 

The angara worked like a fluid cog. One taking down shields, the other provided protective fire and another taking out defenseless kett. It was inspiring to watch them work. But Grace was a competitive spirit by nature, and was aiming for a large group of kett on the upper floor.

 

With a hop, she swept up past the ramp into the air till she landed in front of a surprised group of Chosen.

 

“Hello.” She grinned before driving forward with a charge, smashing her fist into a Chosens jaw, snapping it beneath the force. 

 

The Chosen cried in pain before gurgling on blood as she pressed her shotgun to its stomach and shot. 

 

_ One _

 

Spinning she grabbed one kett with her biotics as she hit another with 2 shots from her shotgun.

 

_ Two _

 

The suspended kett she used as a bowling ball, hitting two other Chosen with it. Charging forward she grabbed her sword and switched the shotgun for her beloved pistol. Slicing one ketts throat, she fired off several rounds of her pistol into the other two kett.

 

_ Three, four, and five. _

 

Ryder smirked at the bodies of dead before tilting her head to look back down at the angara group.

 

Searching she caught sight of Jaal lounging against the top of the ramp, looking at her expectantly. “Five.”

 

“Six.” He shot back.

 

“Ah what I got three.” Owwin whinned from below.

 

“I helped with that.” Skaelv kicked one of the kett with her shoe.

 

Grace frowned at the male standing across from her looking rather smug. She should have felt irritated that he was technically winning the competition, as she always had been with anyone else, but there was something overly appealing about the idea of having drinks with him. Even if they weren’t alone.

 

_ Don’t go there Ryder, that path only leads to pain _ . Grace scolded herself as she was reminded he was just her teammate. They hadn’t even crossed into the friendzone yet. Hell they just started talking a few weeks prior like normal aliens.

 

_ And he’s leaving after this mission. _

 

That thought shouldn’t have stung like it did. Tightening her hand on her gun, Ryder swept past Jaal, heading back to Heckt.

 

“Ryder,” Heckt paused looking down at the cluster of items strewn about a table. “Can we have a moment to look around?”

 

She wanted to say yes, but... 

 

“SAM, how are we doing on being detected?”

 

_ “There was a silent alarm I’m interfering with the signal, you won’t be undetected for long.” _

 

“No match for you SAM.” Grace hummed. “Ya Heckt, take a minute but then we’ll have to move.”

 

Grace ignored the fact that Jaal was trailing behind her as she started peering into a few bens that looked like they were on a conveyor belt of sorts.

 

“Can you believe we are here?” Owwin whispered in a hushed tone.

 

“This will be a story to tell our pups.” Jalvins murmured to Skaelv who gave him a fleeting smile.

 

Looking away from the couple, Grace picked the lid off the container and froze. There was clothing, and other items of angara personal effects placed in containers. Ryder clenched her fist, catching sight of a smaller pair of clothing that didn’t match the rest.

 

_ Children _ .

 

The kett had just won an honorary place at the top of her shit list, indefinitely.

 

Putting the lid down with enough force to crack it, Grace moved away from the items. She couldn’t get the picture out of a mini angara, eyes all to wide, clutching at his mother's legs as the kett forcibly removed their things. The echoes of children crying rang in her ears.

 

Clenching her eyes shut, Grace exhaled from her nose in angry breaths before moving towards the hologram that caught her attention earlier.

 

“Well if it isn’t fucking babyface mcgee.” Grace tilted her head, lips peeled back in a sneer as the holo stared down at her. “Still creepy as shit.”

 

“You met him?” Jalivans stepped up beside her, cradling his rifle. 

 

“Sure did,” Grace placed her hands on her hips while staring at the face of a mass murdering maniac. There was an underlying creep factor to this dude that twisted her gut in an unpleasant way. “told him he could suck my dick too.”

 

There was a snuffing and chuffing noise behind her as the few who were listening into their conversation choked on amusement.

 

“I thought you were a female.” Skaelv almost looked flustered.

 

Jaal was also looking at her shocked.

 

She wanted to laugh at this. “I am.”

 

“But you have male genitalia.” Owwin asked.

 

Now Grace did laugh. “No, I just told him he could suck my dick, its an insult.”

 

“Ah…you humans are weird.” Jalivan moved away from her as Grace chuckled.

 

“Only some.” Cora informed as she shook her head.

 

“A lot of you.” Vetra pointed out as she cradled her rifle from the top tier. She was always looking out for everyone. Grace smiled a bit.

 

“No love.” Grace turned away from the holo to begin their operation when it suddenly started speaking. Nearly scared the shit out of her, even if she didn’t let it show.

 

“I am Archon, I choose you-” Grace whipped out her pistol and shot the intercom. 

 

“What?” Grace shrugged as Cora gave her a disapproving look. “His voice was getting on my nerves.”

 

“We need to move.” Heckt pocketed something small.

 

_ Kids toy? _

 

Grace stepped up to him waving her team close. 

 

“We aren’t going to be a surprise much longer.” Ryder buckled down as she switched back to pathfinding mode.

 

“I know,” Heckt waved Skaelv forward towards the main entrance. “we’ll split here, my team will do a direct assault while you locate the Moshae.”

 

“Will you be okay?” Ryder asked.

 

“Is she insulting our skills again?” Skaelv asked as she hacked the doors mainframe. 

 

“We can handle ourselves Pathfinder, just worry about finding the Moshae.” Heckt stood a bit taller, as if he had something to prove to her.

 

Grace nodded as the door behind them slid open. “Stay strong and clear.” She echoed Gaarul’s earlier words. A statement she had observed the angara use as a farewell between each other.

 

There was a tingle that ran down Ryders arm as someone placed their hand briefly on her shoulder. “They will be fine.” Jaal reassured as he stood off to her right. 

 

“I know.” Grace rolled her neck before turning and unstrapping her beloved BoomStick. 

 

_ “Ryder,”  _ SAM pulled her attention as she set to walk up the ramp to the upper floor. 

 

“Go on SAM,” Her fingers tapped against the forestock of the shotgun. She was internally bracing herself for bad news.

 

_ “It would appear the codes I used earlier to thin the barrier can be used to overload it. However the pulse is lethal to angara physiology.” _

 

Grace paused glancing back at Jaal who watched her with an even look. Trusting almost. She gave him a brief smile. 

 

“Not losing anyone today SAM.”

 

_ “Understood, Ryder.” _

 

“Thank you.” Jaal pressed another hand to her back, between her shoulderblades, as he passed. A spark of warmth shot down her spine, making Ryder pause just outside the doors leading to the next room.

 

“It’s murder.” She pursed her lips in thought before adding. “And we aren’t the kett.”

 

Stepping into the room, Grace whipped around as the door sealed behind them.

 

“SAM?” She ran the omnitool off the panel doors and hissed as the pinged an error code.

 

_ “This is a decontamination chamber. The doors are sealed until the process is done.” _ SAM informed.

 

“I don’t like it.” She growled prowling the room before looking out the window beyond.

 

“Noted.”

 

As soon as the doors hissed open, Grace led them out. Crouching, she peered down the dimly lit hallways.

 

_ Where the fuck was everyone? _

 

She gave the signal for an all clear as they all silently crept down the hall. 

 

_ “Ryder,”  _ SAM spoke over their private channel.  _ “By my calculations, the door at the end is a good place to put another explosive.” _

 

“Gotcha.” She whispered, before making a gesture to where they were headed. Signaling, Grace stood to the side as Cora pressed the panel to open the door. Vetra and Jaal both stood back aways, ready to snipe anyone inside.

 

The doors whooshed open as the lights flickered on. Grace swept the empty room with a bewildered look.

 

“What the fuck is this place?”

 

“Classroom?” Cora ventured as they peered into the room. There wasn’t time to examine everything, even if she wanted to know every scrap of knowledge this facility held on the kett. Grace’s omintool pinged, signalling where to place the next explosive. 

 

“What are they teaching?” Vetra tapped her gun against the palm of her hand as she looked up at the cryopod. 

 

Pulling a disc she slapped it against the left wall.

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Grace turned towards Jaal who was keeping a lookout. “Let’s move.” Every second wasted on speculation was a second the Moshae’s life could be forthfit.

 

Back into the hallway, they peered around every corner while making a way through the facility.

 

“Where the fuck is all the kett?” Grace hissed. The longer they saw no one the more on edge she was. Doing missions practically blind always put a panicked edge on everything.

 

The large door they reached at the end of the hall opened suddenly without any prompting.

 

“Found them.”  Grace declared as she smashed her fist into the Chosen who had been stepping through. It wheeled back, crying in pain before Jaal killed it with a clean headshot.

 

Grace might have gagged at the blood splattered across her cheek, if it weren’t for the fact that the other kett were scrambling, yelling orders to  _ kill the intruders. _

 

Vetra covered her flank as she charged the lines, smashing her knee into a destines chest before it could create a smog. Shotgun pressed to it’s forehead, she fired as it hissed.

 

“Gonna need a shower after this Ryder.” Cora grunted as she altered between tossing kett and firing off rounds.

 

“What the blood and guts don’t look good?” Grace dropped to her knees as an Anointed roared at her, charging with its assault rifle firing off bullets hitting her kinetic barrier till it dropped. With a biotic warp, she reversed gravity on the kett heavy and fired two shots off as it floundered around in the air.

 

_ Six _

 

Rolling, Grace switched out her shotgun for her pistol and started to fire from behind a table as her barriers flickered back on.

 

_ Seven, eight... _

 

Yelping Grace fell to the side as a Chosen jumped her table and smashed a foot into her side. Struggling to breathe beneath the weight, Ryder shifted to the left as the kett fired at point blank range. Her ears rang as the shot echoed off the ground, where her head once had been. Bucking she knocked the kett off and rolled out beneath its foot. 

 

Snarling she fired several rounds into its head, leaving a pulpy green mess.

 

“Ryder?” Jaal’s panicked voice could barely be heard over the ringing in her ears.

 

“I’m fine.” She pressed a hand to her ribs, probing the throbbing area.

 

_ Nothing broken, just bruised.  _

 

Wheezing she staggered to her feet as Jaal appeared at her side. Like her own personal shield he guided her to safety as she regained her breath.

 

“Are you wounded?” He asked as they crouched down behind a while together. In the distance she could hear Cora and Vetra tag teaming the rest of the kett.

 

“Fine, I’m fine.” She waved off his concerns as her sore ribs filled with air during each painful intake. “Nothing but some bruising.”

 

_ “She is correct Mr. Ama Darav.” _ SAM intoned, soothing the worried looks on the angarans face.

 

“See,” Grace laughed a bit before wincing as her lungs expanded to much causing a sharp stab of pain. “I’ll be good in a second.”

 

“We should talk about your fighting style.” Jaal hummed as he shifted looking over the wall before standing.

 

“Already told you.” Grace pressed her fingers to her aching side before standing with him. “I’m not changing.”

 

Shaking off the pain Ryder moves around the looming angara, knowing fully well he’s going to follow her like a lost puppy. Her mind tinkers with the thought of why he behaves as such before dismissing it for more pressing matters.

 

“Perhaps we can integrate more...ducking into your fighting?” Jaal muses.

 

“Ryder? Taking cover? That will be the day.” Cora quips as she comes to stand before them, Vetra’s hovering on the upper level again, keeping lookout. “I got nine.”

 

“Same.” Grace sighs, it’s looking like this was going to end in a tie.

 

“Twelve.” Jaal declares.

 

“Ten.” Vetra says as she leans against the railing, constantly scanning for threats.

 

“Damn you sniping bastards.” Grace grumps as she moves to the upper level as SAM pings her another location.

 

Ambling her way over towards the console situated in front of a window, Grace crouches placing another disc to the underside of the console.. She taps her fingers against her inner thigh while watching as the red light appears and starts to blink. 

 

_ Armed and ready _ .

 

Standing she activated the console, waiting a moment for a door to open only to have the fogged window clear, revealing an overlook at a Archons statue.

 

_ What the fuck _

 

“Jaal,” Grace tipped her head, she was struggling to breathe properly as she looked down at the rows of kett and  _ angara _ . “You might want to see this.”

 

“That’s never a good sign.” Vetra murmured as they moved forward.

 

“What are they doing?” Jaal ask as he presses into the glass.

 

They were too far to hear what was going on clearly, but they could damn well see the angara willingly go into the stasis pods without putting up a struggle. Grace scanned their faces, noting the kett didn’t seem to be holding any weapons.

 

“Are they under some kind of trance?” Grace turned to Jaal who was clenching his fist.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Surely your people wouldn’t just get in there without a struggle.” He had to have some kind of idea, an inkling.

 

“I don’t know Ryder!” Jaal snarled.

 

“Well fuck.” This just put her in a worst situation than they already were in. Were the angara cooperating with the kett? Or was it some drug induced trance?

 

“Shit.” Grace punched the console. What the hell was she suppose to do now?

 

“It looked like a cult.” Cora pointed out.

 

“I noticed.” Grace rubbed her eyes with the palm of her hand.

 

“Pathfinder,” Heckt pinged her on the comms. “The distraction is ready.”

 

“Good to know that’s still an option.” Grace groaned before the floor beneath her shook from an explosion that rocked the facility.

 

Jaal steadied her as she stumbled. He still had the angry look on his face, but that didn’t translate in his touch.

 

“Oh shit,” Grace stiffened as a holo appear behind the kett overlord. A very familiar sneering face peered down at the shocked kett. “Babyface looks pissed.”

 

“EXPLAIN.” His voice boomed across the speaker in a shrilling tone. 

 

Ryder shuddered at it, there was something about his translation that made it all the worse. Like he didn’t roll his tongue to enunciate his words.  _ Or didn’t have a tongue _ .

 

“My Archon,” The kett standing before the Archon started to bow only to be stopped.

 

“Wait! Where is the Moshae?” He sounded almost worried at this, while he swept the surrounding area looking for the single angara.

 

“Not here, it is awaiting final exaltation.” The Cardinal explained.

 

“Good, bring it to me.” He vanished without another word.

 

“Well shit!” Grace spun, “We need to move.”

 

_ “She maybe in one of the pods.” _ SAM suggested.

 

“I’m betting money she is.” Grace started making her way towards the exit.

 

“Ryder,” Jaal stalled still staring out the window as the kett scrambled. “My people.”

 

“We’ll get them out Jaal.” She promised. “But we need to focus now.”

 

Jaal stared at her, something flickered across his face, like he was seeing her for the first time. “O-of course Ryder.” He cradled his sniper as he started following them, taking up the flanking position.

 

_ Was there anything that could make this worse? _

 

The answer is yes.

 

Horror, disgust, revolte, Grace felt her stomach turn as she could only stare helplessly at the defenseless angara hanging in the air.

 

“Ryder!” Jaal begged braking her from her trance as she rushed towards the protective glass.

 

“MOVE” She roared as she pulled her fist back, balling up as much black mass as she could.

 

_ “Ryder I would advise-” _ SAM”s concern was lost to her screaming.

 

Flesh slammed against glass, she could feel the splintering of her bones as the window cracked against the force. On the other side the angara male cried in agony as his bones began to break.

 

“Ryder!” Someone cried. 

 

Ryder couldn’t hear them over the pained noises coming from the other side of the glass. She pulled her fist back again, this time the glass shattered, breaking into little refractors. 

 

She wasted no time jumping through the shattered window and racing towards the Ascended. In the back of her mind she knew it was already too late to stop what had happened, and the knowledge that the kett, the aliens she had been bent on destroying were the same people she was trying to save.

 

Snarling she slammed a fist into the ketts stomach as it turned towards her. Sweeping a leg out she knocked it down before pressing her steel shoe to its face. The last thing this sick bastard would see was bottom of her damn foot.

 

The ascended squirmed beneath her foot as she pressed the boot down upon its head, there was a sickening crack as the kett jerked twisting before her boot crushed its skull beneath her heel. Grace took no satisfaction in its screams of agony. There was only a pit of pain and anger that fueled her through the fight.

 

She could hear Jaal yelling out as she scanned for her next target. He was begging Cora not to kill the newly born kett.

 

“No!” Jaal cried, “Leave the angara.”

 

“Jaal,” Cora ducked as a spray of bullets nearly hit her. “He’s shooting at us.”

 

The Chosen in question jerked as it was hit. Grace looked towards Cora, when she caught sight of Vetra lowering her gun. She gave Ryder a small nod.

 

_ It had to be done. _

 

“FUCK!” Grace cried as she pulled her pistol, firing off several rounds into a chosen that had gotten to close. She grabbed another with a biotic, her hand screamed in agony, but Grace ignored it as she threw the kett forward, into a column with enough force to snap it’s spine. Behind her Jaal was roaring, screaming as he tore through the kett with his blade. 

 

In an adrenaline fuelled minute the area was clear of kett and a silence descended upon the squad. 

 

Between each hitched breath Grace could feel the mounting dread as she turned, watching Jaal stumbled towards one of the ketts bodies. He dropped his gun as he fell to his knees. Grace could feel her bottom lip jutting out at the horrible racking noises he was making. Turning away from the sight of the angara weeping over the dead, Ryder blinked back the few tears surfacing in her eyes. Clenching her fist, she relished in the pain, drawing back the Pathfinder facade. 

 

Once she was in better control, Grace turned to the two other women watching Jaal with sympathy.

 

“Cora, Vetra, scan the area for the moshae.”

 

Vetra nodded before she turned, leaning over to whisper something in Cora’s ear. The biotic’s eyes widen as she glanced down at Ryder’s hand. Grace didn’t need to look to know that the Pathfinder armor was coated in her own blood. Instead of dealing with the injury she turned making her way to the angara.

 

“Ryder,” Cora grasped her shoulder, “Your hand.” 

 

Droplets of blood dripped from her armor. The wetsuit had been punctured, the armor plating fractured, the bones broken. Grace couldn’t move her pointer and middle finger, and while the hand was obviously broken, Grace couldn’t feel the pain over the gaping hole growing in her chest the longer she listen to the sobbing angara.

 

Glancing to the side to see Jaal weeping over the body. Turning Grace pulled her hand to her chest, keeping it out of sight from him. It was a puzzling thing, not wanting him to see her ability to bleed, but Grace felt the need to hide her pain especially from him.

 

“It’s fine.” She jerked a medigel from her stash jabbing the needle into her hand.It wouldn’t fix what was broken, but it would make it useable for a bit longer. 

 

“Go,” Ryder ordered. 

 

Cora gave her a dubious look, but there was nothing else the huntress could do, so she left following Vetra into the next room.

 

Taking a deep breath, Grace made her way over to the male. Crouching down on the other side of the body, Grace tentatively reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. The tingles that usually accompanied the contact were absent. 

 

“They are us, Ryder.” Jaal gasped, choking on the keening sound coming from within his chest. It broke her heart seeing it. “Ryder, I’ve been killing my own people.”

 

“No.” Grace pressed her hand harder into his shoulder, emphasizing her point. “ _ This _ ” She pointed down at the dead kett between them. She didn’t need to look to know its glassy, dead eyes were looking at her. “is not one of your people. This is a biological weapon the kett have made out of your people, this is not them.”

 

Jaal looked at her, pink tears swimming in those blue ocean eyes. His face twitched as he tried to control the grief he was feeling.

 

“Big Guy,” She slid her hand down his shoulder till Grace was grasping his gloved hand. “He died the moment he turned.” It was logical thinking, even if it wasn’t completely true. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze Grace retracted. “Take some time, we need you here.” She meant in the right headspace but couldn’t quite tell him to stop grieving and pick up his gun.

 

“SAM.” Grace cradled her hand as she moved further away from the male who was slowly collecting himself. “Anything you can do about this?”

 

_ “I can turn off pain receptors Ryder.” _ SAM suggest.

 

“Okay, thanks SAM.” She sighed at the pain ebbed away.

 

Testing her hand, she flexed it abit. There was no way she could hold anything with it, but biotics would still be an option. She would have to switch her shotgun to the other hand, Grace glanced back at Jaal who was now holding his gun. He had the look of determination on his face when he caught her eye.

 

Shivering at the intensity of his gaze, Grace turned away. “Let’s move, we are not letting them have the Moshae.”

 

_ The race was on.  _

 

“There she is!” Cora cried as they caught them at the roof, heading towards the shuttle bay.

 

“Fuck.” Grace ducked down as kett from the lower levels shot at them. She glanced across the bridge to the kett dragging a pale looking angara. “Vetra, Jaal clear me a path.”

 

“Grace.” Cora looked at her worried, her eyes glancing down at her main hand.

 

_ Broken but not useless. _

 

“No worries number one.” Grace winked before she jumped the wall to charged forward like a biotic comet. 

 

Left and right kett dropped with well placed shots.

 

“You can not have her!” The Cardinal cried.

 

“FUCK YOU I DO WHAT I WANT!” Grace yelled, as she blindly shot at the Ascended. 

 

“You ignorant fool!” She laughed teleporting to the other side of the platform, away from the Moshae like Grace had planned. “My shields pro-.”

 

“Thanks for pointing out your weakness, dipshit.” Grace charged forward, smashing her sword into the rotating generator. This wasn’t her first rodeo with an Ascended. The one on eos had been less chatty and more intent on killing her.

 

It taken a fractured wrist and over half her shotgun shells before she realized the spinning disc floating around the kett was the shield generator.

 

_ Big flaw in the design there. _

 

The Cardinal gaped at Grace as the golden shield flickered and died as the generator fell uselessly at their feet. Before she could recover, Ryder was wrapping her into a biotic pull and tossing her over the railing.

 

“Bye bitch!” Grace bellowed.

 

Feeling exhilarated, She jetpacked across the platform towards the crumpled form of the Moshae. Dodging bullet, and shooting off her gun at any kett close enough, Grace rushed back towards the lilac colored woman.

 

_ For the love of all that is holy please don’t let her be dead. _

 

Sliding next to her, Grace sighed in relief as the Moshae lifted herself upon her elbows, looking shocked to see Grace's smiling face.

 

“Hello.” Ryder turned firing off her pistol at the oncoming kett. “How are you?”

 

If Ryder could have taken a picture, she would have. The creamy purple angara gaped at her like she had lost her mind.

 

_ She’s probably delirious. _

 

If Grace had to guess she’d say the woman was dehydrated, sun deprived, and sick. With a countless number of ailments on top of it all.

 

“How…” Her voice wavered. Grace’s heart went out to her, she couldn’t even begin to imagine the horrors she had seen here. Hell Grace had only seen a fraction of it, speculated on the rest, but knew it was enough to fuck someone up for life. 

 

“Oh, I killed a bunch of kett, made friends with Evfra and came to get you!” Grace grinned as she ducked again while a kett died from a well place sniper shot. 

 

_ Looks like Vetra and Jaal are competing _ .

 

Again the Moshae gaped like a fish out of water.

 

“Don’t worry,” She winked. “I’m taking you home.” 

 

_ Maybe _ .

 

Ryder’s hand trembled, she couldn’t feel the pain, but it wasn’t exactly responding anymore. She couldn’t curl it into a fist, merely wave it around like a whiteflag.

 

“Jaal,” Grace popped up from her position, it looked like all immediate kett had been eliminated. “Grab her, we’re leaving.” The angara appeared instantly after the last syllable rolled off her tongue. Where ever he had been before had been very close.

 

While he scooped down to pick up the discombobulated woman, Grace hailed Thorian and Heckt. “It’s time to blow this joint, need a speedy pickup.”

 

_ “You found her? The Moshae?” _ Heckt’s voice crackled across the line.

 

“Sure did.” Grace hesitated looking at the sagging from of the beloved Moshae. Clenching her jaw, Ryder looked away from the lacerations decorating her pale lavender skin. “Not going to lie Commander, she’s not in the best shape.”

 

“I’m in fine shape…” A weedy voice defended behind her.

 

Grace felt a smile twitch across her lips as she turned to say something in return when she caught movement in her peripheral. 

 

“YOU SHALL NOT TAKE HER!” The Cardinal yelled as she charged forward in swirls of golden yellow till the tipped claws of her hand were gripping Ryder’s face.”I will tear the flesh from your bones before you take her.”

 

Someone growled behind her, it was a heavy, scary noise that shot chills down her spine. Instead of quivering, as her useless hand was doing, Grace pulled forth he anger and disgust while she pressed forwards into the clawed fingers, smirking viciously.

 

“Sounds kinky.” Grace snorted as she press her pistol to the unarmored part of the ketts belly. “Want to see what happens when there's a hole in your stomach?”

 

There was a click of a gun behind her as Cora held her shotgun out, aiming at the Ascended’s head.

 

“Or two.” Grace glared until the Cardinal sneered drawing her hands back. 

 

“You can not have her.” Again the kett hissed, spit flying from its mouth as it frothed with anger. “She is for the Archon. A gift. She has been chosen where few have. Your ignorance blinds you from the true gift of exaltation.”

 

“Shut the fuck up.” Grace snarled as she wiped the spit from her face. “God you are annoying.”

 

Vetra snorted somewhere out of sight, while Cora rolled her eyes. Pathfinder at her greatest.

 

_ “Ryder, I’m detecting multiple kett cruisers inbound.” _ SAM informed. 

 

“That is possibly the slowest response time ever.” Grace tilted her head back as she glared at the snarling kett.

 

“You will all be exalted.” The Cardinal declared as something akin to a smirk flitted across her face. “Especially  _ you, _ Ryder.”

 

Grace stiffened, the amused anger she had earlier vanished as her hand shot out grabbing the Cardinal and yanking her down so their eyes were leveled.

 

“I’d like to see you fucking try Bitch. And try you will, because I am going to dog the Archon at every fucking step. THIS,” Grace gestures to the facility around them. “Is just the beginning. I’m going to fuck your shit up. You’ll wish you never came to this galaxy looking for trouble by the time I’m done with you.” Grace felt victorious as fear flashed in the Cardinal’s eyes.

 

“SAM,” Grace tossed the Ascended to the side, watching it scramble to find it’s footing. “Is there no other way to bring this damn place down.” It was soaked in enough blood as is.

 

_ “Other than overloading the shields, no.” _

 

“Ryder-.” Jaal started but she lifted her hand.

 

“I know Big guy.” She sent in a reassuring look over her shoulder and caught sight of the displeased frown upon the Moshae’s face.

 

“Ryder,” Cora inched forward, gun still trained on the Cardinal. “There’s no way we can save everyone.”

 

It was true. 

 

Grace felt the heavy weight pressing against her shoulders, she knew her decision would have a heavy weight upon it no matter what she picked. Still she knew what she would choose. There was no way she’d detonate a EMP bomb killing hundreds of angara in one slew. There was enough blood on her hands as is. But if she left them….

 

_ A fate worse than death _ .

 

This is where the selfishness came into action. 

 

Grace closed her eyes chewing her lip as she weighed her options.

 

“Wait!” The Cardinal cried, staggering forward a bit, in desperation she reached out for Ryder only to still as another growl sounded behind her. “Leave my sacred temple alone! I will release the chosen as long as you leave this holy ground be.”

 

Grace eyed the Cardinal wryly before a noise behind her, something that sounded like a wounded animal trying to escape the claws of death, caught her attention.

 

“No,” The Moshae struggled in Jaal’s arm, making him juggle her as she straightened. “I would rather die than see this place standing still.”

 

_ God damnit! _

 

It was never an easy option. Just when she thought there was an opportunity some fucked up galaxy god threw a wrench in her plans. Some higher being out there was getting off on her struggles. 

 

“We can’t just kill our people!” Jaal choked. “We can come back and destroy this place.” His wounded gaze swung suddenly to look at Grace, pinning her with a look.

 

“Ryder please. It is not only the trapped angara, the resistance and our scientist are here!”

 

Gritting her teeth enough to crack a molar, Grace turned away from his gaze as she struggled to keep breathing past the giant burning weight pressing against her lungs.

 

_ Fucking, shit, shit, shit, FUCK! _

 

“You!” Grace pointed a finger at the Cardinal. “Release the angara now. SAM, hail Heckt and let him know what’s going on. Let’s get as many people out of here as we can.”

 

_ “Of course Ryder.” _

 

With a few clicks the Cardinal was giving the release order as Verta moved into position. It was become abundantly clear they were going to have to fight their way out of here.

 

“Thank you.” Jaal hummed behind her. Grace didn’t turn, her chest was clenching in a painful way that made her feel like she was having a heart attack.

 

“Yes.” The Cardinal grinned her hands coming together in glee. “It is good to see that you understand-”

 

Grace outstretched her hand, she could feel the biotics wrap around the Cardinal’s head.

 

“You really should shut the fuck up.” Her fingers curled slowly into a fist. The kett overlord gave a warbling cry as her skull crushed beneath the dark matter before it exploded splattering Grace in more green blood and brain matter.

 

The Moshae hummed in approval behind her. 

 

“Let’s move.” Grace spat as her broken hand buzzed with biotic, it seemed to still have some use.

 

The roof’s platform, the extraction point SAM plotted, was covered in a thick sheen of ice. There was a strong gale that threw off Ryders balance just enough to annoy her more than she already was.

 

“Fuck this shit.” Grace growled as Kett swarmed them like annoying bugs from earth. She’d shoot one and two more took it’s place.

 

“Ryder,” Jaal shifted the Moshae in his arms, the woman barely looked awake at this point. “Take cover before you get hit.”

 

“We talked about this Big Guy.” Grace wielded her shotgun off balance, missing three shots before landing a killing blow. 

 

_ Next time I break my hand, let's not use the dominate one. _

 

“I’m reckless, not changing.” She shot another kett before she had to take cover to reload.

 

“At least let Vetra cover you.” He begged.

 

Grace hunkered down against a strong gust of wind that blew her several inches across the ice. “And leave you vulnerable? Fuck no.”

 

“Vetra!” Grace glanced at the silent turian who was taking Kett out left and right without wasting a single bullet. “I’m clearing away, keep Jaal and the Moshae safe.”

 

_ Forward marched the light brigade. _

 

Funny the things your mind comes up with at times like this. Facing down a dozen guns as you acted like cannon fodder, roaring in anger while blowing aliens heads off.

 

“Hey Cora,” Grace peered over the restraining wall she crouched behind to reload, Jaal and the Moshae were making steady progress across the bridge safely. “you ever hear the poem of the light brigade?”

 

“No.” The biotic swung a two Chosen off the bridge before firing a few pistol rounds off at some kett before she ducked behind her own wall.

 

“My mom loved poetry, this was one of her favorites.” Grace grunted as her shields took a concussion shot that knocked her onto her back.

 

Rolling to her feet, Grace shot off her shotgun before using her biotic warp to throw an Anointed off the bridge when she missed. Her aim was getting worse the longer she wielded it.

 

“Ya, how’s it go?” Vetra asked as she scoped a few kett before trailing behind the angara.

 

“Don’t remember it, besides….” Grace licked her lips as her eyes watered from the stinging wind. 

 

_ Probably should have worn my helmet. _

 

“All in the valley of death, rode the six hundred. Forward the light brigade, charge for the guns….blah blah blah, they all died.” 

 

“That is very morbid Ryder.” Cora commented.

 

“Like her sense of humor.” Vetra shot back as she helped the pair of angara hunkered down at the landing pad.

 

“Oh ha ha. Oh Shit!” Grace whipped around as something heavy dropped behind her and roared.

 

“Where the hell is that shuttle!” Cora yelled as she took down kett trying to shoot Ryder.

 

“I can’t land till the pad is clear.” Thorian chuffed across the comms.

 

“Thorain!” Grace yelled, as she dropped back across the bridge avoiding the fiends jaws as it snapped at her. “You the best pilot on Voeld or not? Get your ass down here!”

 

There was a brief silence before the comm crackled to life again. “On it Pathfinder, I’ll pull up to the edge of the roof.”

 

“Good.” She growled rolling beneath the fiend and shooting the unarmored underbelly. This seemed to piss it off more than damage it. Rolling to stand, Grace turned to shoot it again when her gun clicked.

 

_ Empty. _

 

“Fucky-fuckidy fuck.” Grace danced away from the fiend, sliding left then right as she drew further away from the group.

 

“Ryder,” Vetra’s voice strained over the comms. “Do you need help.”

 

“I- shit,” Grace lunged back, nearly sliding off the edge. “Fuck yes, Cora!”

 

“I’m coming Ryder.” Across the bridge she could see Cora running while Vetra watched her back. In the distance Jaal watched, cradling the unconscious Moshae in his arms with a concerned look.

 

“Shit” Grace ducked as she dodged another swipe as she danced closely to the edge of the drop off.

 

“Cora, draw it’s attention, I got an idea.” It probably wasn’t a good one, but it’s all she had at the moment. Her broken limb throbbed at the thought.

 

“You got it Ryder.” Cora slid in, shooting the armored monster with the honed skills of a huntress. “Hey bony freak over here!” She hits the unarmored eyeball socket sending the fiend in a frenzy.

 

“CORA!” Grace cries when the biotic is hit by a blind swipe as the fiend roars.

 

Ryder sees Cora catch herself before shooting her a thumbs up. Not sparing the huntress another thought, Grace jetpacks above the fiend. With one last pull of dark matter she chargers down slamming her asari sword into the fiends armored back. For one panicked second she thinks it didn’t worked, before the sword slides past the bone plating. The biotic infused hit did the job as the fiends spine bent inward on itself with a deafening crack. As one final retaliation the fiend dropped to its side taking it and Ryder both off the side of the platform. 

 

Giving an aggravated cry as they plummeted, Ryder extracted her weapon from the fiends back before pushing off its body and launching up. Her hand reaches out, the heat from the jetpack burned the back of her thighs, as she stretches for the ledge.

 

_ Not going to make it. _

 

A scream built in her throat as she missed the edge. Ryder’s jetpack sputtered out. For one heart stopping moment, Grace knew that this was it. 

 

_ At least I saved- _

 

A hand shot over the edge, grabbing Grace. She dangled there, suspended in the air, staring shocked at the worried blue eyes looking down at her. Grace gasped, her hand curling to grasp at the wrist of her rescuer. She was never more thankful for Jaal large form than that moment.

 

With ease he lifted her back onto the platform, surprisingly he didn't let go but threw her over his shoulder and made a dash for the shuttle. Grace squealed the entire time keeping a biotic shield that held off the brunt of the shots.

 

He launched them into the shuttle and twisted, falling onto his back and taking Grace with him. Panting he held her clutched to his chest as they both tried to catch their breath.

 

“That was fun.” She tried joking only to feel his arms tighten.

  
“That.” Vetra growled as she stood over the pair. “Was stupid.”

 

“Nah,” Grace squirmed, getting uncomfortable laying across the silent angara who held her cradled to his chest like she was about to disappear. “I’ve done worse.”

 

Jaal finally let go when she tapped his arm insistently before sitting up abruptly sending her sprawling across his lap.

 

“I’m starting to think,” He growled lowly in his chest. “You have a death wish.”

 

Grace felt herself laughing to pass off his concern. But she knew that there was an underlying truth he spoke of. 

 

_ Broken but not useless. _

 

“Me, nah. I got to much shit to do.” Grace shifted in his lap, the tingling was amped up spreading a fire across her skin. Her eyes were suddenly stuck on the ocean's depths that peered down at her with concern and anger. There was hurt laying bare before her as well as something that made her squirm a bit. Grace was suddenly fearful he was seeing more of her than she was willing to give. 

 

Pulling away, Grace ducked her head as Jaal narrowed his eyes. She could feel him about to speak when SAM cut him off.

 

_ “Pathfinder, plan B is still an option.” _

 

“Shit.” Grace scrambled off Jaal’s lap as she pulled up her omnitool. 

 

After checking to make sure the other teams were clear, Grace detonated the explosives. It wouldn’t be enough to destroy the facility, but it would cripple it to a degree that bought them time to mount another assault on the base. In the silence of the shuttle, Grace closed her eyes at the symphony of the explosions, and pictured a small angara child smiling at her.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my Lovelies! I have slaved over this beast of a chapter. It was suppose to be out earlier this morning, but 30 pages takes hours to edit. Forgive any mistakes I miss, I'll go back and edit those in a bit. :)
> 
> The poem Grace speaks of is 'The Charge of the Light Brigade-Alfred, Lord Tennyson' one of my favorites as well. 
> 
> Whelp I'm exhausted, I'll see you Tuesday with another chapter for Ink.
> 
> Next time: 'Its called sexual harassment for a reason!'


	7. Title IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all fine and dandy till someone pulls a needle out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! This chapter mention panic attacks, nudity, and past abusive relationships, you have been warned.

“SIT!” The terrifying roar of one doctor Lexi T’Perro could be heard throughout the Tempest and had crew members desperately scrambling away from the medbay. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of the asari’s wrath.

Unfortunately the woman who was often the cause of said wrath had been attempting to sneak out of the medical themed torture chamber when the order was thrown at her.

To say Lexi was fuming would be an understatement.

Yelping, Grace scrambled back into the room to plop harshly down onto the stool.

“Did you set yourself on fire?” Lexi frowned down at her like a mother scolding a child.

“Ah what? Who told you? Peebee-no she won’t come near you. _Liam._ ” Grace hissed. Once this torment was over... she would have her revenge.

“Ryder!” Lexi warned with a flick of her scanner.

“I might have… been caught in a… backlash of an explosion” Lexi’s stern glare prompted her to finish with “… that I caused.” Grace gave her doctor a sheepish smile as Lexi growled.

“Off now.”

“Now?”

“Ryder.”

“Fine.” Grace grouched.

She had been hoping that by the time Lexi roped her into a physical exam Jaal would be gone. It was a foolish thought considering he hadn’t detached from the Moshae’s side since she awoke, fervently lavishing the exhausted woman with all his adoration. It was almost sickening listen to him coo over her, asking if she was alright.

No she wasn’t jealous!

Just… miffed he hadn’t spoken to her since the shuttle. Hell, when he looked at her there was a ripple of anguish spreading across his features that made her feel all the more guilty.

 _Not like I fell off on purpose_.

Pressing her lips into a thin line, focusing on not looking at the male who was _not_ looking at her, Grace slipped off the sweat soaked tee she wore beneath her wetsuit and waited for Lexi’s reaction.

Sure enough Lexi gasped, looking at the canvas of black, blue, purples welts splotched across her once uniformly tan skin.

Under the cover of her bangs Grace chanced a look at Jaal. He was standing beside the Moshae but his attention had shifted to her grotesque display, clearly horrified and a little disgusted. He was expelling harsh puffs of air while staring at the discolored skin that covered the front and back of her torso.

Heart dropping to her stomach, Grace slumped in her seat as Lexi circled her. Briefly touching the unmarred patch of skin as she did so.

“Ow.” Grace said blandly as she looked down at her knees.

It was a little game she played with Lexi. The doctor would poke and prod and Grace would go ‘ow.’ It didn’t matter if the places she was poked at didn’t hurt, Grace still produced the lackluster wounded noises.

“By the Goddess look at your back.” Lexi probed her shoulder.

“Ow.” Grace frowned as she sniffed the matted hair falling in front of her face. Wrinkling her nose, Grace pushed the greasy strands back into place. She smelled like a stinking pile of varren shit.

“What happened to your ribs?!” There was now a hysterical note in her voice as she started poking at the black and blue swelled skin.

“Ow.” Grace actually hissed as the asari’s fingers skimmed over the throbbing skin. “Got kicked by a kett.”

Lexi sighed through her nose as she straightened. “SAM, report.”

_“Ryder has multiple contusions on her dorsal side. There is inflammation and swelling on her abdomen. A few lacerations on her arms. 3 broken bones in her right hand, consisting of a boxer's fracture a-_

The rest of the AI’s explanation was swallowed by Lexi’s pained noise as she swooped to the front of Grace, lifting her hand. Slowly the woman peeled away the glove to reveal the mess that lay twisted inside.

“GRACE!” Lexi cried looking at the massive bleeding, internal swelling, and bone fragments sticking out of her skin.

“It’s not _that_ bad.” She croaked.

It was that bad. The hand was nearly triple the size it should be, the skin that should have covered her knuckles had been peeled away, leaving a bloody wreck of bone and muscles exposed. There was also a small metacarpal bone shard jutting out into the open air.

It was a nauseating sight to see.

“W-what did you do?” Lexi gaped at the horridious sight.

“Punched stuff.” Grace offered while flinching as Lexi felt around for more fractures.

Straightening Lexi rubbed her temples while muttering under her breath about ‘Ryder’s death wish.’ and ‘she doesn’t get paid enough.’

“Jaal can you hold her?”

Head snapping in the direction of the two angara who had been silently observing her hissy fit, realization dawned and Grace started to shake her head as Jaal rose from the Moshae’s side.

“Come on Lexi it-you are NOT sticking me with that!” Grace attempted to stand, only to be shoved back into her seat by two very strong hands. Her eyes glued to the three inch needle Lexi was prepping.

Ryders weren’t scared of anything.

_But fucking NEEDLES!_

Grace jerked forward attempting to get out of the hold, but his hands were like shackles.

“When I get out of here.” Grace hissed. “I’m hitting you.”

Jaal’s return answer was to purr. A loud reverberating rumble that started deep in his chest. It reminded Grace of the big cats back home. The Moshae in the corner laughed lightly as she watched the pair.

There was an expletive on the tip of her tongue till Lexi turned towards her with the silver piece of metal designed by hell to send good soldiers to their knees. Squealing in an undignified manner, Grace started to thrash in Jaal’s hands, almost succeeding in freeing herself until he changed his grip. She was suddenly airborne before being cradled against a hard chest. Her left hand was smooshed between their bodies as he anchored the broken one over his shoulder all while pressing her face into the material of his rofjinn. Taking her seat, one of his thighs pushed up, acting at a ledge to keep her in place as one leg was trapped between his thighs and the other hung by his hip.

If Grace wasn’t panicking she would certainly be embarrassed that she was being held like a belligerent child.

“Grace,” Lexi sighed exasperated. “Stop making this harder than it needs to be.”

“Fuck. You.” She hissed against the shoulder her face was anchored against.

The purring being produced by her jail keeper kicked up a notch as she struggled to escape him.

Ryder pushed forward into Jaal’s chest, and despite her anxiety, the deep purr was affecting her. Her body loosened just before there was a decidedly bullshit jab in her wrist, just above her hand. Grace gave a wailing cry, jerking in his hold as he smothered her hysterical noises with a full body purr.

Though it was only mere seconds the needle pierced her skin, to Grace it was an eternity. The muscles of her arm contracted as her hand twitched while a wet sounding wail emerged from her throat. Over the distressing noises and heart pounding fear Grace could hear Lexi grumbling as she patted Ryder’s head.

“Can break bones, hunt down murderers, face new aliens without blinking and it’s needles she’s scared of.” The asaris shook her head while backing away from the pair.

Jaal, who had taken the brunt of Grace’s hysterics was eying Lexi with a frown as he rocked in inconsolable woman in his arms. Lexi would have smiled if it weren’t for the fact that Grace seemed to be breathing harsher than necessary.

_Panic attack?_

“Grace,” Lexi stooped low the catch the gray eyes peering over blue fabric, her hand twitched again as she looked at Lexi. Sharp gasps escaped her lips as she jerked occasionally in the angara’s hold.

“Breathe deep Grace, there are no more needles.” Lexi soothed as she ran her fingers through Grace’s hair.

“Liar.” Grace choked out as she gulped in a large breath before holding it and exhaling slowly.

As she started to calm, Grace noticed that while she partially dangled in the angara’s arms, he was rubbing her back as well as purring. She also happened to hear another weak, sputtering purr coming from the corner.

Energy spent, she layed there against the big chest of the soothing angara watching Lexi work. The asari gave her hand a small poke, watching Grace's face for any sign of discomfort, but Grace felt nothing as she stared at her doctor with droopy eyes. As Lexi set her hand Grace let out a litany of ‘ow’s that had the asari sighing through her nose in annoyance.

“You can let go of her now Jaal.” Lexi patted his shoulder. “We’ll be good from here.”

The angara hesitated before relinquishing his hold on her and Grace was all too quick to jump out of his lap. She had become increasingly aware of his warm thigh pressing solidly against the junction of her legs and the way his large chest had vibrated against hers. If it hadn’t been for the blinding panic and the exhaustion that followed, Grace might have lost herself in the embrace.

Jaal didn’t say anything as he stood and returned to the Moshae’s side.  Grace felt a painful twist in her gut as he again took his seat while Lexi grabbed material to wrap the wound. Bending down she scooped up the discarded shirt. Legs trembling from the ordeal, Grace flopped back onto the stool. The once lulling purr was now gone as silence descended upon the occupants.

A silence that perhaps was more damning than any scolding Grace had ever received. It was almost as if they had returned to just before the night spent in the cavern.

“There,” Lexi finished wrapping her hands in a medi-gel infused cast. “Now I’d like to run some blood tests on-.”

“Noooo.” Grace whined as she slid further down her seat.

“Why not let the kid rest, Lexi.” Drack came striding into the room, shooting Grace a significant look that had her perking up a bit. If anyone could save her from Lexi, it was the old man.

“I need to make sure she’s okay.” Lexi turned to eye the veteran as he snorted.

“Food Lexi,” Drack crossed his arms, he frowned at the angaran male before looking at the asari doctor. “Kid needs food, shower, and rest.”

Lexi tapped her arm impatiently while her gaze jumped from Ryder back to Drack before sighing. “Fine.”

A wide toothy grin appeared on Drack’s face as he ushered Grace from the door and away from the horror room. “Got some stew waiting for you in the kitchen Kid.

  
“Drack,” Lexi called after the old krogan before he could take another step. “I haven’t seen you about those implants yet.” 

“Now Lexi-.” He didn’t get to finish speaking before the asari was pointing at the stool Ryder had abandoned. Whatever argument he had prepared to wage was lost to Lexi’s fierce glare. Giving Ryder one last push to the door he ambled over to the chair.  
“Thank you.” Grace mouthed as she slipped out the room, away from all the occupants and the deafening silence. She had been more than happy to finally sit in the alone in the gallery. The day had been one hell of a demented rollercoaster.

The kett facility had been the tip of the bullshit iceberg. After they had landed back at the resistance base with the Moshae in tow, it had been like fighting against the tide. Angara flocked all around, wanting to see the beloved woman. If it hadn’t been for Lexi and the Angara doctors Ryder didn’t think they would have made it out of the shuttle.

Gaarul had adequately named her, the angara revered her like a hero which unsettled Grace as they all tried to thank her one by one. It didn’t help matters that Jaal had essentially left her to deal with it alone.

Exhausted and in pain she eventually told them all, as kindly as possible, to shove off.

Sighing into the booth, Grace reached for the steaming bowl of soup that had been prepared for her.

_Drack Nakmor, caretaker of all._

The picture of Drack caring for baby Kesh popped into her mind as she awkwardly dipped her spoon into the brown liquid. It turns out not eating for more than 13 hours left Grace ravenous. If she had the two fully functioning hands, she might have picked up the bowl and gulped straight from the source, but Grace had to settle for awkward spoonfuls.

The day was not done dicking with her yet, Jaal came into the room just as Grace dribbled some stew down the front of her shirt. She could only blame it on the fact she wasn’t naturally left handed and eating as such made her clumsy.

_It wasn’t nerves._

He glanced only a moment in her direction before moving to the pantry, turning his back on her. Grace looked down at her steaming bowl of _Drack surprise_. Clenching the spoon in her hand, she took a deep breath.

 _It’s now or never_.

“Hey,” She bit her lip briefly rolling it between her teeth before releasing it. “Jaal how are you doing?”

“Should you not ask yourself that question?” He didn’t turn around as he pulled a tube of angara paste out.

_Extreme colds detected Pathfinder._

Opening and closing her mouth, Grace stared at his back with an ugly mixture of frustration and aggravation and- _for fucks sake her back hurt_.

Shifting Grace pulled a frown as she stared at the undersuit of the angara’s armored back. “You still mad about-.”

“Yes.”

Pursing her lips, Grace turned back to her cooling soup, not really feeling as hungry as she had before. Fingers tapped against the table before she sighed, putting the spoon down and pushing the food away. She doesn’t notice that the male was now watching her with a worried frown.

Walking forward, he placed the paste on the table before looking down at Grace’s bent head.

“Eat.” He commanded pushing the bowl back.

“Not hungry.”

“But you were before.”

Lips peeled back, Grace flashed him a mean smile before saying. “That’s before you came in.”

It was mean and childish, but Grace didn’t give a shit. She was tired, in pain and the throbbing behind her eyes was getting so much worse.

_I’m not fucking crying over being scolded._

Jaal took her moodiness in stride as he tilted his head in contemplation before squatting down at her side. “Grace,” His eyes were imploring while his hand hovered over her thigh, as if to pat her. “Please eat.”

She stared at him for a moment before suddenly reaching forward and cupping his face with her good hand, which was slightly dirty with food. The tingles speared at her skin, alighting a flame as always while tracing a path down her nerves and settling in her heart. There was something about him that just drew her in. Perhaps it was the general rawness in his eyes or the sincerity of his actions. Whatever it was Grace knew that if she didn’t do something she would start falling for him and hard.

But all of her worrying for herself paled in comparison for what she saw in those familiar eyes. Nestled between the oceans was a deep layer of hurt that hid the transgressions of the day.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered watching as his breath hitch and pupils widen. “I didn’t mean to worry you, and….I know that what we found in the-the base was bad.”

“Jaal I know I’m not the Moshae or your um... people but I’m here if you need me.” There, that wasn’t so hard. Even if she did halt between each word.

There was a odd cooing-keening noise he made before he abruptly shifted. Tentatively, he pulled her forward, practically out of her seat, and wrapped his arms gently around her form. The table pressed awkwardly into her ribs, thankfully not the side that took the hit, but even if it did she wouldn’t have complained because it felt so damn good being held.

Cheek pressed against the smooth skin of his neck ridges, Grace could smell his spicy oils and the underlying musk of Jaal that reminded her of the forest after a storm. Earthy undertones of _home_. Tempted to bury her nose into the scent, she nuzzled her cheek against the pulsating  warmth, almost like a vein.

Jaal’s face buried itself in the crook of her neck. Grace could feel his shuddered exhale as his arms tightened a fraction around her shoulders.

Lifting a hand she patted his arm. “We’ll stop them, I promise.”

The sweat dried tee was steadily getting wetter as Jaal cried earnestly into her shoulder. Grace didn’t know what to say or if there even were words she could say, so she started to hum him a popular lullaby under her breath as she gently rocked them both while rubbing between his shoulder blades.

They stayed like this for several minutes until Grace’s back started twitching in pain and she had to shift back a bit. Despite the movement, Jaal stayed wrapped around her breathing deeply into her skin before slowly pulling back.

“Feel better?” Grace smiled as she wiped away a lingering tear. His hand immediately reached up, wrapping around her wrist, a loose grip she could pull away from if she wanted to. Grace didn’t know if he was telling her to stop or not, but he didn’t pull her hand away.

“You are so small.” He murmured absently as his thumb rubbed the underside of her wrist, across her pulse. The hand that encapsulated hers could wrap around it twice almost.

“Small but fierce.” Grace joked as she felt a jolt of warmth. Her heart was dancing to a fluttering tango of emotions.

“Small but fierce.” He agreed looking at her like she was a marvelous wonder.

“How’s the Moshae?” The question escaped her lips as she founder herself glancing furtively below his nose.

 _Don’t go there Grace_.

“She is resting once more.” Jaal supplied as he started studying her little limb. “Lexi asked me to leave while she sleeps.”

“I imagine, she’s needs the rest.”

Eyes focus he starts bending the digits of her fingers, testing the flexibility of them. “She has not told me much of the horrors she experienced.” He paused looking back up at Grace with the same intense focus. “She has been through a lot.”

Sighing, Grace curled her fingers inward. “I’ll have to talk to her at some point.” It was not a conversation she was looking forward too.

Jaal nods at this assessment before sighing.

“It’s times like these I miss my family.” Grace could hear the deep yearning in his voice that made her heart twist. She was well aware of the sacrifice and risk he’d taken to come with her.

 _He’ll be back with his own in no time_.

That caused a jab of pain to slice through her. Grace clamped down on the nagging feeling. She had enough on her plate, she didn’t need, or want, to develop a crush.

“Are you close with your family?” She asked as she tugged her hand out of his grasp. The thumb sliding across her fluttering pulse was distracting. Once extracted she placed the tingling limb on her lap. There was still a ghost of his touch whispering across her skin.

“Very much so…angara families are large.” Jaal smiled a little at this.

“How big?”

“I have 33 siblings.” Grace wheezed a little as she stared at his open expression. There was no mischief gleaming across his eyes, only a soft loving looking as he thought of his family. His ‘enormous as all hell’ family.

“Wow,” She couldn’t imagine the galaxy handling thirty plus Ryders. “I have like one brother and that's it.”

Jaal seemed to be yanked from his thoughts at her words. The soft look from earlier clouded over with sadness.

There is was, the sad puppy look. “That must have been lonely.”

Lonely. A word Grace had come to know all too well in her days as Pathfinder. She lost everything

“Nah,” She gave him a small smile before looking over at the bowl of soup waiting to be consumed. Her throat constricted as she forced whispering words to pass through her vocal cords. “We are twins so….it’s like being cut from the same cloth. We did everything together.”

A hand briefly touched her shoulder as she looked back at him.

Gentle eyes urge her to tell him more. To cut open the wounds and let them heal. But she’s not ready. She might never be ready.

“Where is he now?” He ask in a soft voice, almost as if he can since her vulnerability.

“Here, in Heleus I mean...he’s….” She couldn’t seem to say it, so she just bit her lip instead, gaze returning to the table.

As if sensing that this wasn’t a something she wanted to discuss, Jaal changed topics.

“Are you close with your family?” Jaal echoed her earlier words.

There was a moment when her heart stopped, before resuming a normal rhythm. Grace could feel SAM stir, but he remained silent.

Swallowing she gives a breathy laugh. “I miss them.” She answers instead.

Perhaps what Lexi had said held some truth, that she couldn’t handle the grief. But Grace covered it with the excuse that she didn’t want to unload on him anymore than what he already was dealing with.

“Will you tell me about them?

“Another time perhaps.” Grace inclined her head, keeping a pleasant smile upon her lips. “We can swap family stories.”

“It would take a long time to cover all the stories.”

“With over thirty siblings I would imagine so.” Grace gave him a real smile this time. “You probably could top anything I had.”

“Nothing would be more pleasing to me then hearing about you and your family.”

It should have been a sweet compliment, but it left a bitter tang of agony in her heart. Still, Grace flushed in mild embarrassment.

“Thank you.”

The morose mood broke when Grace giggled at his cheek, the one she had cupped earlier. “I got food on you.” She pointed out.

Jaal frowns a moment, before swiping his thumb across the cheek she’s gestured too. Sure enough he swept away the juices from the stew.

Suppressing a smile as she sees him sniff it, Grace wondered idly if he liked how it smelt and if he wanted some. Abruptly those thoughts came to a screeching halt as he looked up and caught her watching him.

Eyes locked on hers, his tongue swept out licking the pad of his thumb clean. He swirled it deliberately around the tip of the digit, giving it one more flick before the purple appendage slowly disappeared back into his mouth.

Grace wasn’t sure, but she might have let out a whimper at the sight of the dark purple tongue. Jaal huffed, his face suddenly very close, pupils expanding rapidly. A puff of breath fanned across her lips, and Grace shuddered, swaying forward just a bit. There was a fluttering in her stomach. A clench and release of muscles as he reached for her.

“Grace-”

“You are supposed to be eating.”

Jumping, Grace swung her gaze towards Drack. The krogan was frowning something fierce, glaring at Jaal who was still leaning over her.

“I was.” Grace smiled, trying to play off the tension building in the room. She shifted back just a bit, away from the angara to look at her self-imposed caretaker.

“Finish the bowl, or I’m taking you back to Lexi Kid.”

“Meanie.” She slumped a little in the booth and cast a side glance to Jaal who appeared to be frowning with the same intensity as Drack.

Instead of moving away, he nudged her side. Looking at him in confusion, Grace realized he wanted her to scoot over. Wiggling a bit, she slid further into the booth to accommodate the male. Jaal’s legs’ didn’t quite fit beneath the table, so he ended up sitting with them stretched outside the booth while twisting his torso a bit to look at her.

Drack, who had been watching the two of them, grumbled something under his breath as he walked towards the counter.

“Want some bread kid?”

“God yes.” Grace reached for her bowl only to have Jaal push it gently into her hands before handing her the spoon. “Thanks.”

Jaal nodded as he brought the nutrient paste to his mouth.

Drack slapped the loaf of bread a little too loudly against the counter before producing a large gleaming knife that seemed far too big to cut a small piece of bread. Eyebrows raises she watched as he began meticulously slicing up the loaf with apprehension. Jaal seemed completely at ease sitting next to her watching the old man cutting up the bread like he was peeling the meat from a pyjack.

 _“Ryder,”_ SAM cut through the unnerving tension as he spoke over the comms. _“Director Tann is on the comm, he wishes to speak with you.”_

Grace groaned, dropping her spoon into the nearly half filled bowl. “Bastard has the worst timing.”

“He can wait.” Jaal spoke suddenly.

“He’s right kid,” Drack put down the knife and handed her a piece of bread. “Take time to care for yourself.”

Grace snorted accepting the piece of bread before dipping it into the stew, soaking up some of the meat juice. “Myself? I didn’t think I needed to be cared for?”

“Why would you not need care?” Jaal asked as he twisted around more to look at her.

She tilts her head a bit towards him. “Tann and Addison see a Pathfinder, nothing else.”

“It’s not how we see you.” Jaal declared as Drack nodded in the background.

“You’re human kid,” The krogan rumbled as he wiped down his shotgun, it probably wasn’t all that sanitary to have it in the kitchen, but Grace wasn’t going to say anything. “You’re squishy and need a lot of maintenance to stay alive. Hell, salarians have less requirements than you humans do.”

“Meh,” Grace wiped more stew off her chin as she spilt more on herself than she got in her mouth.

Jaal seemed to be pondering something as he stayed silent. Which is how the rest of her meal went before she slipped out with a thank you towards Drack and a smile for Jaal.

There was hell to pay making Tann wait, and Grace couldn’t care less as she watched the Salarian huff and slander her with thinly veiled insults. She had been very tempted to ask SAM to cut the signal so she could go shower. But no, here she stood coated in sweat and dry blood that belonged to her and the dead, listening to a pompous asshole seeth at her _audacity_ to put off talking to him so she could have a decent meal.

“TANN!” Grace finally yell cutting off the salarians rant on how he had better things to do then wait for her. “Get to your damn point.”

“Perhaps you should take a trail of patience, Ryder.” The director frowned. He didn’t take particularly well to being cut off.

“You get your hand broken and stand around coated in blood then come talk to me about patience.”

A very distinctive cough sounded below that had her narrowing her eyes further. It seemed Liam was hanging around.

“Right,” Tann folded his hands looking at her disgruntled form with no small amount of disgust flashing across his big lizard eyes. “What you did on Voeld has shown your outstanding skills as a Pathfinder, why I could even say Alec couldn’t have done better.”

Grace stiffened at her father's name, her lips peeling back in a small sneer. Tann either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care as he continues on.

“But, you are our Pathfinder, _Ryder_ , not the angara’s.” Tann reminded.

Working her jaw, Grace counted backwards from ten before speaking again. “Stop tip-toeing and tell me what you want Tann.”

“Outpost.” Tann spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “We need more people out of cryo.”

And there is was, the needs of the many. He’s wanting demands come to press upon her overburden shoulders.

“You want me to settle Voeld.” Wasn’t really a question, she already knew their need for planets to settle. Voeld was a perfect candidate too. After all the time she put into it. All she had to do was get past the icy glacier of mount Evfra.

“Not just Voeld Ryder.” Tann weaved his finger together giving her a slimy business man look. She knew where he would say next. “I’ve heard your reports on Aya.”

“Most of that planet is molten lava and fire hurricanes.” Grace tries deflecting but she sees the gleam in Tann’s eye.

“Not all of it Ryder. Aya is a paradise, perfect for colonization.”

She hears it then, the chuffing noise of an annoyed angara.

 _Well shit_.

Seemed Liam had a companion to eavesdrop with.

“Aya is not an option.” Grace tilts her chin up, firming her tone as he opens his mouth to argue. “Aya. Is. Not. An. Option.”

Tann narrows his eyes on her then. “I was mistaken Ryder.”

She steels herself for the blow.

“Your father would have done better.”

 _Your father_ It’s like a chant that rings over and over again in her ears as she listens to Tann promising they will discuss this further when she’s on the Nexus again, before the line goes dead.

 _“Your father would have done better_.”

_“What hope do we have now that Alec is dead!....Now he’s gone and left you, his inexperienced daughter.”_

_“Alec Ryder was the hope of the Initiative.”_

_“Alec Ryder...your father...gone”._

“FUCK!” She slams her hands onto the table before crying out at pain shoots down her arm.

“Ryder,” Cora’s head poked around the railing as she peered at her from the ramp. “Are you okay?”

“Just dandy.” Grace sniffed, wiping her nose across her forearm. Her eyes were starting to burn again. “I’m fine Cora, thanks for your concern.” Turning she started making her way down the opposite ramp.

“Wait, Ryder!” The biotic called scrambling to catch up, though she doesn’t have far to go since Grace halted upon noticing half the crew gathered around the research station. All of them are looking at her with sympathetic looks. It pisses her off, she doesn't need their damn pity.

_“Alec Ryder was a good man, I hope you will prove to be half the person he was.”_

She was not Alec fucking Ryder. She never would be. But god damn it she wished they would stop comparing them.

Turning towards Cora, Grace curled her hand into a fist. If the woman was about to give her a speech on how great her father was, Ryder wanted to prepare herself for the blows to her self esteem.

“He’s wrong.” Harper states, her voice sounding even, firm. Conveying how true she held all these beliefs. “You have done far more than Alec would have accomplished.”

“I-thank you Cora.” Grace shifted her feet suddenly feeling all to uncomfortable with the murmurs of conversation that followed Cora’s statement. Jaal stood behind the rest looking like a proud mother.

“It’s true Ryder.” Cora straightened, placing her hands behind her in a parade rest stance. “You have done more than I think even Alec could accomplish.”

“You have won the trust of my people.” Jaal points out, though Grace isn’t so sure of that yet.

“Prodromos wouldn’t be here if not for you.” Liam piped in as he nudged Vetra.

“Nexus wouldn’t be functioning half as well without you.” The turian nodded.

“Tann’s an idiot.” Drack added finally as he lumbered to lean against the door.

Grace was beat red now as her heart fluttered with joy. She couldn’t ask for a better crew than what she had now. “Thank you...really thank you. Half the things I’ve done wouldn’t have been possible without you.”

It was their turn to smile sheepishly while avoiding direct eye contact.

“Go shower.” Vetra hooted after a beat of silence. “You smell worse than a baked elcor pie.”

Grace wrinkled her nose a bit before backing up. “Fine I’ll leave and take my stink with me.”

“Oh thank the goddess.” Peebee suddenly chirped as she passed Ryder, having missed the whole ‘Alec’s better’ stunt Tann pulled. “I though Drack had taken another dump and forgot to flush again.”

“Happened once.” Drack growled though there was no real fire behind the bite in his words.

Laughing, Grace ducks out of the area before she’s roped into anything else that will put off her shower. At this point everyone of the ground unit had showered but her.

Grabbing a change of clothes, something soft and large that wouldn’t bother her bruised skin, she hurries to the shower and strips.

Sighing beneath the heat of the spray, Grace sagged against the wall letting the abused muscles finally relax underneath hot water.

The day’s events play in the back of her mind while rivets of warm water trickle down purpled skin. The horrors of that facility would haunt her for the rest of her days. What the kett are capable of was beyond any terror she had seen on Eden Prime. Even if it was a similar concept. Taking allies and making them enemies.

 _They had to be stopped_.

In a few days they would be back at Aya, dropping the Moshea off and hopefully gaining access to vault. But there was one small voice in the back of her head that kept persisting on pointing something out.

_Jaal will be leaving too._

It shouldn’t bother her like it did. But the long nights and days spent on Voeld had brought the two closer together.

Worst yet was the fact that she had almost kissed him in the mess hall. Or let him kiss her if that had been the goal.

Trembling, Grace traced her lips as the scene picked off where they were interrupted. He would have cupped the back of her head, anchoring an angle where he’d have complete access to her. Then he would lean forward and-

Would it be a glancing kiss? Just a taste to provoke the desire for more? Or would he ravish her, stealing the very breath from her lungs. Were his lips soft, able to mold to hers as he pressed gentle kisses along the seams of her mouth? Or firm? As he demanded the pleasure he inspired in her while pressing seductive whispering touches against her mouth. Would he rub that pebbled tongue along her bottom lip, asking for permission or demanding it?

What would his tongue feel like?

There was a warmth that settled low into her gut as she pressed her legs together beneath the stream of water. It was bad she wanted to do more than just kiss the male that had so much power over emotions she would have rather left buried.

_“Come here sweetheart, I got something to show you.”_

Sucking in a sharp breath Grace startled at the memory. The soft cooing voice with underlying subvocals. Clenching her fist, she pressed forward to the wall as the empty feeling of being _used_ resurfaced.

 _Ryders weren’t made to love_.

Breathing out through her nose, Grace blindly grabbed for her loofah before she started scrubbing the grime from her skin with such vigor it left the pink patch of skin red. The truth was, Grace had a total of one romantic experience that left her cracked. It had started well enough but ended-

_Grace stood there, her shirt gripped tightly between clenched fist as she stares at her supposed boyfriend. Something warm is trickling down her legs but she doesn’t move to wipe it away, or cover her nakedness as Chufik sneers at her._

_“Come now Sweetheart.” He sounds condescending saying the term of endearment. “You honestly think anyone would want that.” A three finger hands waves in her general direction. “You were just a pity fuck.”_

Those had been the last words he had said to her after taking her virginity. Grace had been so stupid too. At fifteen had thought she was in love. But Chufik had been the furthest thing from loving. Not only had he pressured her into sex, but he had effectively destroyed who she was. He had taken something from her, something she struggled to to maintain nowadays. Her self worth, her value, her dignity. Little pieces that made her Grace Nova Ryder.

 _Never_ _again_. Ryder had sworn she would never let anyone in like that again.

When Jaal left she would not leave another piece of herself behind.

Reaching for the Thessia Rose shampoo, Grace popped the top and squeezed a healthy dose into her palm. Humming in satisfaction as she lathered the soap through her thick hair and sighed as her nails ran over her scalp. Scrubbing the gunk from her hair, Grace was relieved to see the clumps of dry blood swirling down the drain. The gore she had been covered in was disgusting.  
  
"Ryder?"   
  
Screaming, Grace jumped to the corner, covering her lady bits as she tried to see who was intruding on her private time. Though she had a pretty darn good idea whose baritone voice called her name.   
  
It was confirmed as she squinted at the broad shoulder alien lingering in the stall door.   
  
"Jaal!" 

The angara looked almost as shocked as she was. Perhaps it was her reaction, the fact she was screaming at him, and possibly thrown her loofah blindly at his direction. It had smacked his shoulder with a wet plop before hitting the ground. Whatever it was he had him frozen staring at her. Of course Grace was becoming a stuttering mess the longer he stood, gazing upon her nakedness.  
  
"What's going on!" Liam yells as he crashed into the room with a pistol in hand.   
  
"Oh my- LIAM!" Grace cried. Back pressed to the wall, Grace desperately hoped she could fuse with the metal surface.   
  
"Whoa, buddy!" Liam exclaims as he covered his eyes while reaching out to grasp the angaran's elbow.

Jaal’s gaze never left her as he was slowly and very much reluctantly, pulled away at Liam’s insisting. Those those earth like eyes flickered up and down her from, taking in the expansive bare skin as he did so.  
  
"What's going on?" Drack rumbled as he came sauntering into the cramped room to see one Liam covering his eyes, Jaal hungrily devouring Grace with his eyes, and a naked Pathfinder shrieking at both of them to leave. 

"Leave! Get out!" Grace yells as she pulls her 'Mommy' voice as Peebee calls it. 

_Nothing like your whole crew seeing you butt naked to bring you all together._

The wonderful pleasure the hot shower had brought was now swirling down the drain. Grumbling beneath her breath, Grace took an extra minute to prepare herself for what was to come before exiting the shower.

Unsurprising all the crewmembers were gathered around the conference. Most were there to observe.

“Don’t you have things to do?” Grace asked as she walked up the ramp.

“If you think for one second I’m missing this you're wrong.” Peebee giggles as she plopped down on one the couches.

“Could you at least pretend to be busy?” Grace ran a hand through her wet hair, trying to detangle it since she hadn’t had time to brush it.

Jaal was fidgeting by the time she looked his way. Multiple times he opened and closed his mouth. For a moment she wondered if anyone had talked to him about it or just left the angara guessing what he did wrong.

Sighing Grace squared herself. It was time to jump past the cultural hurdles.

“Look Jaal, you can’t just go walking into the bathroom while others are bathing.”

Brow dipping low, he frowned at her while looking around at the Tempest crew who eagerly watched the exchange like a bad salarian drama.

_My whole life is a bad drama._

“Your people do not bathe together?” He asked.

Grace scrubbed a hand over her mouth. The alliance had kept strict regulation on diverse bathrooms, but the Tempest was a whole new playing field. Most the time she showered with Cora or Vetra or alone. Their had been a drafted shower schedule, men in the morning, girls in the evening, unless you were apart of the ground team time restrictions didn’t apply when your had kett guts in your hair.

“Not always.” She finally answered. “Family members do and same sexs do and couples but generally friends don’t shower with friends.”

Jaal is silent for a moment contemplating her words before speaking again. "Liam does not mind if I join him in the bathing quarters."  
  
"Liam is a male.” Grace explains a she points to the half dressed human in question. “And I'm sure you notice he has no problem walking around have nude."   
  
"It's educational for him!" Laim puffs his chest out, as if to prove his point.   
  
"You did it before he came aboard." Cora rolled her eyes, she had seen him shirtless enough times she didn’t even blust anymore.   
  
"Peebee doesn't mind,” Jaal adds then. He seems to be trying to grasp the rules of conduct. “she offers to bath with me frequently."   
  
All eyes swung to the rebellious asari who gave a sheepish smile.   
  
"Peebee has no shame." Grace gritted out. She would be speaking to a certain assri later about sexual harassment.   
  
"Hey!" She sounded aggrieved, but there was an upturning on her face that Grace knew meant the asari found this conversation funnier rather than insulting.   
  
"It’s true Peebs." Vetra pointed out. "You've made a proposition to the whole crew at least once."   
  
"You can't be serious." Grace groaned, that’s all she needed was Jaal going back to his people and spreading untrue truths about the Milk-way species. "Peebee, we're talking after this."   
  
"Aw good going Vetra, you got me in trouble." She pouted crossing her arm as she attempted to look offended.   
  
"You'll survive." The turian waved off her   
  
"I don't see what the big problem is here." Peebee uncrossed her arms as she looked suddenly too serious for this conversation.

_Uh oh._

"It's not like Ryder’s a virgin, right?"  
  
Silence.   
  
Everyone looked at Grace, their eyes wide with anticipation. Even Jaal seemed far to interested in this answer.   
  
"Seriously!” Grace floundered while a flush bloomed across her cheeks. “I'm not telling you my love life."   
  
"I'll be damned, our girls innocent." Gil’s cackling laughter could be heard below at the cargo bay entrance.   
  
"Gil!" Grace growled.

“Not according to Temp-Tatious.” Liam was all to pleased to point this tid bit out.

Grace felt the heat of her face double at the sudden knowledge that her crew has been listening to scandalous rumors involving her...and them. It seems the work of Tann’s lapdog reporters had made their way onto her ship.

_Curse you Calrus and Seriu._

“Don’t you dare.” She hisses twisting around to look at the former HUSTL member.

“Oh,” Suvi slides in seeming very tickled by the sudden conversation. “Have you heard the newest one?” Suvi might have looked like a pretty innocent woman but she was damn devious in Grace's opinion.

“No-” Grace started but is cut off by Cora.

“Can’t be me again is it? That was what five months ago? Think Liam was involved too.”

“Oh ya,” Peebee grinned watching Grace shift in discomfort as she desperately tried to steer the conversation away from her sex life.  “Ryder was supposedly rocking your word when Liam came in and stole her-.”

“Like a dashing hero.” Liam perked up. “And we ended up arguing who was a better lover in Vortex.”

“The whole reenactment vid of that dispute was wonderful.” Peebee sighed. “Though the girl they got to do Cora made her sound a bit whinier than necessary.”

“Oh my god.” Grace covered her face.

“Then there was Vetra’s turn.” Suvi pointed out.

“I got to bang Ryder and she got a ship.” The turian tapped her chin as if rethinking the whole thing.

“But you fell in love and followed her across the stars.” Suvi sighed as if picturing the whole romantic series before her.

“Please stop.” Grace tried as she avoided looking at Jaal who had a perplexed and shocked look on his face.

“You’ve slept with your whole crew?” He asked.

“NO!” Grace shot up from her slumped position.

“Not yet she hasn’t.” Vetra laughed as Grace’s flush cheeks grew darker, the red color traveled down her neck.

“Who’s the new lover?” Peebee asked like an excited dog nipping at a bone.

Suvi’s lips curled into a devious smirk as she shot Jaal a significant look.

“No.” Peebee gasped while the rest laughed.

“But we haven’t mated.” Jaal looked even more confused at this news.

“I’m dying.” Grace gasped. She had only wanted to straighten out the bathroom mess.

“What’s the story?” Cora asked, looking far more invested than she should.

“Apparently Ryder let it slip that the angara are great lovers, the greatest the galaxy has ever seen.”

“We do make good lovers.” Jaal proclaimed in agreement after Liam had whispered something to him.

Grace narrowed her eyes on the pair. It appeared the angara had been corralled into humiliating her. “I’m leaving, you’ve done it, I can’t stand to look at any of you!”

Jaal’s eyes widen as he attempted to stop her. “But you have not explained why bathing together isn’t permitted.”

Botttom lip jutting out, Grace looked at those _innocent_ eyes and knew the Tempest had dug his claws into the angara. “I hate you all.”

“Then why do you keep bedding us?”

In response she just dropped her heat to the table grumbling about how they were the worst crew ever. This only elected chuckles from the people around her.

_It’s time to split._

Taking a breath, Grace turned her attention on the angara who looked hopeful for an explanation.

"Look Jaal you have to respect people's boundary lines. Most women shower alone, unless they seek out company. This applies to both sexes. I'm more comfortable showering alone.” Grace explained in a hurried breath. She had just about reached her limit on how much teasing she could take.

  
“I understand,” Jaal nodded his head as if he finally grasped human reasoning. “though you should not feel ashamed of your body, you are very beautiful." 

Grace sputtered while several of the crew laughed around the table.

Jaal only looked more concerned. “I do not understand you.” He was gazing around the area with a pondering look. “Very well, I shall wait till you give me consent to bath with you then.”

“Oh my god!” Grace covered her face, which was more than likely redder than a tomato at this point.

The improv meeting ended shortly after that, with only a few lingering jabs at Grace’s overexaggerated sexlife. Lexi had grabbed her then, before she could slip away to her quarters to nurse her reputation.

The Moshae had requested to talk to her.

With a deep breath Grace stepped across the boundary of the medbay. Her earlier visit to the room resurfaced, causing her face to flush even more. Nothing says competent leader like weeping over needles.

_I’m so fucked._

Immediately her eyes landed on the angaran woman laying in the far bed. Moshae Sjefa sat patiently for Grace to finish her trek to her side.

“I know you are angry.” Grace blurted. The Moshae doesn’t say anything, just watching Ryder as she floundered around, rambling. “I mean I’d be too. Trapped in that hell hole only to leave it standing for others to experience what you’ve gone through. But I did what I thought was best.” She stopped taking a breath. “I do not regret my decision even if you do not approve. I could not give up hope. If there was any possibility of rescue I had to save them.”

After her small rant, she stared down at the angara so many had told her was the wisest of them all. At the moment she didn’t see a wise woman, just another victim of kett cruelty. Another alien seeking justice for the wrongs that had been inflicted upon them.

When she finally spoke her voice was soft, yet firm. The months spent in their clutches had not yet broken her spirit. “And what about the others that the Kett will take?”

“You assume the Kett will get the chance.” Grace straightened. “Your people are not fools Moshae. They know the risks. And even if I had done as you asked and blown up that facility right there and then, they would take your people elsewhere.”

Again the Moshae studied her, a look Jaal often gave Grace when he was trying to figure out if she was worthy. Those lingering looks were nearly nonexistent now.

“Jaal told me what you did. He’s informed me the resistance is already planning a counter attack to take the facility.”

 _Oh thank god_.

Sagging in relief, Ryder hesitantly took the seat next to the angara’s bed with a tentative smile. “I had hoped to be part of the attack but Anjik and Heckt have informed me where my priorities lay.”

Tann had also had a bit of a conniption when she informed him of her intentions.

“You do your people proud Pathfinder.”

“Ryder...or Grace. I don’t prefer to go by my title unless it’s necessary.” She hated to be reminded that some of the initiative didn’t even recognized her as a person any more.

“Of course.” The Moshae nodded. There was a small smile on her face now.

“Did you know, Grace, that my people have a heightened sense of smell.” The Moshae  unthreaded her fingers before picking at the blanket tossed over her legs. She didn’t look all the comfortable lying upon the bed, but there were at least three pillows propped behind her back to take the curve of her back.

It took a moment for Grace to grasp the odd topic change and the thousands of questions that cropped up. Did humans smell to them? Did she smell? Was this the angaran equivalent at subtly telling people to shove off?

Clearing her throat, Grace shifted her feet, wondering where this was going. “I did not.”

“It’s how we find mates, or spouses as your people say I believe. It’s called the _culum_ _mea,_ It means the souls bond. Some believe it is our reincarnated souls finding one another again. I find it very peculiar that your people do not have this sense.”

“So….” She licks her lips, still unsure where this conversation is heading. “you're saying that the angara essentially have soulmates and they find them through scents?”

“Soul-mates.” Moshea Sjefa hummed, testing the word. “Yes that is a term I would use. A permanent bond between two. We do not take this lightly Ryder.”

Grace seemed extremely confused as to why this woman was telling her this, but she nodded and took the information to be filed away for later.

“Okay.”

Sjefa was staring at her expectantly, as if waiting for Grace to react to something. Glancing around the room she gave the woman a small sheepish smile. After an expansive amount of silence she finally chuckled.

“You smell very odd to us.” Sjefa informed her.

Grace wondered if she meant her or the general human species. “So I’ve heard. Maybe I should ask Jaal for some of his perfumes.”

Moshae Sjefa stared at her a moment with a bemused grin, as if she had said something truly stupid. “Asking a male to wear his scent is asking to bond with him.”

“Bond?”

“Mate. Produce children-.”

“Got it!” She squeaked while shifting in her seat.

Laughing at her flaming face, the Moshae pats her hand. “No need to be afraid Dear….Though Sahuna has her work cut out for her.”

“Who?”

The Moshae doesn’t answer, merely smile as she hums beneath her breath.

By the time Ryder stepped out of the room, her eyes were drooping with exhaustion. She was more than ready to hit they hay, even if it meant part of the night was plagued by nightmares.

_“Ryder, Liam is requesting your presence in the cargo bay.”_

“Really?” Grace glanced longingly at her bedroom door before sighing. “Is it important?” She asked.

SAM was silent for a moment before speaking again. _“He says it is.”_

“This had better be good.” With heavy feet she dragged herself to the cargo area. Of course Liam wasn’t in sight, meaning he was probably lounging on that stained couch.

 _Thing needs a good steaming_.

“Alright Liam, what’s up-OH MY GOD!”

The last thing Ryder expected coming into the storage turned media room was a naked angara.

_Very, very, naked._

The scientist part of Grace woke up since the rest of her had decidedly shut down.

He had an interesting chest. Grace wondered about the bone structure. Did they have acromion bones like humans did? What of the ribs? How where his organs organized? Did he have one heart or multiple?

Jaal seemed to puff up at the sight of her as he slipped around the table.

“Since I caught you off guard this morning I figured that the least I could do is show you-.”

His words faded to the sound of the blood pumping through her ears. Her breath hitching with each inhale.

‘“...nothing to be ashamed…”

Gaze dipped lower across the stomach. The ripple of muscles there looked human but-

“..our forms are similar…”

Lower still her gaze went, her breath left her lungs as she wheezed. Her eye snapped shut but she had already seen too much. Two thick columns of muscle and settled between those large muscular thighs was a rather sizeable and girthy violet shaft covered with delicate ridges that, like the back of his head, were a deep blue where they connected… and apparently those white speckles on his skin **did** in fact go everywhere.

**_Holy. Shit._ **

Grace made a few strangled noises as she stepped back, only for her ankle to catch something, sending her off balance.

“Ryder?”

“RYDER!”

A sharp pain flared in the back of her head and for a moment she lost consciousness, as the next time her eyes open she’s nestled between Liam’s legs, being propped up.

“Lexi’s on her way.” He informed her. Not that she was overly concerned with that fact considering Jaal was squatting before her, still naked.

“ **Please** put some pants on.” Grace wheezed, her eyes had been on level with the monster penis.

“Does my nudity offend you?” Jaal seemed sad at the prospect. Oh great now he thought she found him ugly.

 _I think distant cold Jaal might be an improvement at this point_.

_“On the contrary Mr. Ama Darav, Ryder has a high level of-.”_

“Not a word Sam!” Grace yelped as she tried to scramble up, only to be forced back gently by a pair of hands.

“Liam thinks you might have a concussion.” Jaal crooned, clearly feeling much better knowing her embarrassing secret. “It is best if you stay still.

Liam was also losing his shit behind her. She could feel the laughter that racked his body, as he tried to cut off the sound.

Grace elbowed him in the ribs. Hard.

Wheezing, Liam tipped backwards, taking her with him.

Jaal reached out to grab her.

That was how a slack jawed Lexi found them. Grace smooshed between one shirtless Liam and a very large completely naked as the day he was born Jaal Ama Darav.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello My Lovelies! How was the chapter? Did you like what I did with the Armor Exchange scene? XD I know some of you out there sympathize with the needle bit! Also added note I figured angara purr together when ever anyone is in distress so you'll probably see more scenes with groups of angara purring over wounded. 
> 
> So I want to give a HUGE shout out to my lovely beta: Lunamir. Without her this chapter wouldn't look half as good as it is.
> 
> Also a big thanks to all the love this story is given. You guys inspire me to keep writing! 
> 
> Till Next time: Aya not the paradise Grace was looking for.
> 
> Title IX: Section that covers sexual harassment amongst other things.
> 
> Culum mea- Soul bond; reincarnated love


	8. We found paradise?

****_She’s falling again, twisting through the air. Mouth open, wanting to scream. Something bulky hits her in the face. Pain and blood fill her mouth. The impact shatters her wrist, she didn’t have enough time to put on the jets._

_She’s wheezing, fingers digging in the dirt, she tries to blink past the blood and dust, but she can’t. She can’t see, she can’t breath-Her hands scrape uselessly at her throat as she gasps for air._

_More air_

_Can’t breathe, can’t breathe, can’t breat-_

_I’m going to die._

_“Breathe deep, baby girl.” A voice says as the world spins between blinding white and fading black. Grace finds herself focusing on a face, blurred but familiar as her helmet-broken..useless-is pulled off._

_Dad!_

_He reaches for his own, unlatched it. It hisses as air escapes. She can see his mouth moving, but it fades as the world is suffocated out. Grace reaches for him, collapsing into his lap as she tries to cling to the only parent she had left._

**_Don’t go._ **

Gasping awake, Grace laid motionless in bed, listening to her thundering heart beats as she tried to get her baring through the stars that hung above her head. Hot tears leaked from her eyes as the pressure in her chest expanded, weighing down on her lungs.

_Panic_

Swallowing large sums of air to starve off the impending explosion, Grace called out to SAM. His blue sphere popped up on her desk.

“What time is it?” She croaked while laying on her elbows to stare at the blue ball.

_“The time is 0200 Ryder.”_

Grace groans, flopping back to bed only to get up as the pressure grew.

_“It’s natural.” Lexi assured her as she passed over the pills, ones that were supposedly for her health. Vitamins and other proteins that ‘humans required while out on space journeys 600 years from home. “It shouldn’t scare you Ryder, your body’s way of coping with the grief you feel. If this feeling persists you should come back and see me. I’m here to help you Grace.”_

Lexi never counted on the fact that the Ryder family were emotionally constipated people who refused to show the slightest bit of weakness.

Pulling on a pair of shorts Ryder left her quarters, doing her nightly rounds of checking on each crew member. The med bay was first. Peering through the window Grace could see the outline of the Moshae laying on her side, curled into a ball as she slept.

_Breathe in……..Breathe out._

Crew quarters are next. She counts four bunks and four sleeping lumps in each.

Gnawing on her lip, she moves through the docking bay, past the Nomad.

The numb tingling sensation is hitting her hands now. Grace waves them a bit, at least her left one since the right is still in a cast, while she struggles to keep her breathing normal.

_Breathe out…..Breathe in._

She passes Gil, who’s working on something in the drive core. She’d normally stop to chat with him, but conversation was the last thing she wanted right now.

Her heart is beating out of her chest, she’s having trouble breathing without it sounding like Darth Vader. There are tears blurring her vision now.

_Breath in, Breath out, in and out, in-out._

Passing through the doors leading to the research station, Grace is gasping while the walls swirl together. Colors blend into a dull gray, while black dots dance across her vision. She pushes herself against the railing to the ramp leading up to the conference area. The scared ragged gasps coming out of her are the only thing she can hear before another sound drifts to her ears.

A loud rumble that sound like a twentieth century engine. Rhythmically it starts then sputters out before beginning again. Latching onto that noise instead of her steadily increasing breaths, Grace turned her head to look at the source. The tech door is across from her, where the loud snores are emerging from within.

Stumbling, she moves towards the door before she can think about it.

Jaal seemed to provide a comfort to her. Even when he wasn’t physically with her. She didn’t know when it started, perhaps the day they first landed on Voeld where he promised no harm would come to her. Or the night in the monolith where the walls between them came crumbling down. Whatever it was about the angara male, Grace found herself snatching a semblance of control over the crushing panic as she focused on his deep breathing. Pushing against the wall beside the tech doors, Grace matches her breathing the best she can to his.

_In…..out..in…..out....in….out_

Sliding down she sits outside the techlab doors listening to the rumbling snores coming from within. Closing her eyes she leans back against the cold metal and just listens. For a while she’s simply sits there, existing. She doesn’t think about her father and his sacrifice. She doesn’t think about the weight of her responsibilities and the loud voice that keeps telling her she _can’t do this_.

All her thoughts center around the heady sounds coming from the door mere inches to her left. Swallowing she relaxed against the wall, exhaustion creeping up again.

_He’ll be gone by morning._

.

.

.

“...der...ryder?”

 

Jerking Grace snapped up from her slumped position only to cry out as her forehead collides with something. There’s heavy thuds in front of her while the grated floor shakes from the impact. Grace jolts as she spots the sprawled male in front of her. 

“Jaal?” She scrambles forward, one hand on her head over the throbbing pain, The other supports her weight she hobbles on all fours towards the angara who is holding his head in a similar fashion staring at her in shock and amusement. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” He drops his hands before reaching out to touch her cast, which is probably hiding the reddening mark on her skin. “Angara have thicker skin, are you okay.”

“Fine.” Her hand drops as she settles on her knees between his legs. The swelling on her hand had gone down and in a week's time Lexi said the bones would be knitted together so she could remove the stuffy cast.

“What are you doing out here?” He ask when they continue to sit in silence.

“Uh.” She hesitates trying to come up with an excuse that didn’t sound as lame as ‘I was panicking but your snores lulled me to sleep.’ Which was somethings he was NOT telling him. She settles on shrugging.

“Ryder.”

Grace was learning that angara expressions translated well, or well enough, to human equivalents. She didn’t know if she was getting a better reading on him because they were actually talking, or if it was something she never picked up on before.

At this moment he was giving her the ‘cut the shit’ look her dad often gave her when she attempted lying to get out of biotic training.

“I uh couldn’t sleep.” She offers with a shrug.

Jaal inclines his head a bit, eyes scanning her form, probably taking in Grace’s disheveled appearance. She know the dark circles beneath her eyes are probably standing out to him.

_Probably doesn’t even know what they mean._

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” His tone is gentle, like he’s talking to a child who’s on the verge of breaking down.

Grace shrugs again.

“Ryder.” He sounds exasperated.

“I...had a bad dream.” It sounded stupid to her ears and for the life of her she couldn’t figure why she was telling him this. “It happens….often, and I just can’t sleep afterwards so I end up wandering the ship till I’m too tired to move again.”

He makes a small wounded sound before drawing her into his chest where he starts a low purring sound rumbling deep in his chest. Grace stops breathing for a moment as he begins to pat her back and rock them a bit, just as she had in the kitchen.

 _Where I almost kissed him_.

Just as she starts feeling embarrassed about her brazen behavior Jaal is talking again. “I’m sorry Little One.”

She blinks at the nickname, a tired smile pulling at her lips as she sags against his hold. Past mishaps forgotten as she soaks up his warmth, and those tingling caresses that come with his touch. It’s sad how desperate she is for this. To feel someone hold her, even if it was a 6’3 alien.

“Not your fault.” She whispers, fearing that he voice will break this enchantment he has over her. That her overworked mind would start whispering harsh things to ruin this moment.

“Then,” His flat cat-like nose is pressing against her temple, where his breath is fanning across the side of her face. She shivers just a bit. “I will claim it as my own….share your burdens with me, I want to help.”

It almost sounded seductive the way he’s talking to her. Holding her on the floor in the middle of the Tempest without a care in the world.

 _He’s alien, different cultures. He doesn’t mean it that way._ She reprimands herself before a small, mean voice adds. _He’ll be gone in the morning._

“It’s okay Big guy.” She bits her lips while pulling back away from the warmth. Her voice has taken a croaking quality, which is not because she’s going to miss him.

_I am not crushing!_

“Grace.” Breath hitching she stares at him as her given name spills across his lips in that purring rumbling accent that has him rolling the ‘r’s. “You are not alone.”

Bitter words, like sour swill. She’s _not_ alone in a sea of people, but she’s lonely. She’s not _alone_ on the Nexus, but there's no one there that understands how truly desperate she wished she wasn’t there. She’s _not alone_ , but she _is_ deep in the caverns of her glass heart that’s so fractured the jagged edges are peaking out of her flaming red skin.

“Jaal, I'm fine, you don't have to worry so much.” She adds a little laugh in the end to prove her point as she starts to stand.

“Don’t.” He growls lowly in his throat, the noise has her stilling. “Don’t try to hide it all Grace. Your emotions. They aren’t a weakness.”

She’s staring at him, wondering how he could simply guess what she was thinking.

_How much of me can he see?_

It was a scary thought.

“What _are_ you two doing?” The unmistakable voice of her salarian pilot came from behind.

Grace jumps startled while Jaal continues to sit there looking at her with the same intense focus she was getting used to.

“N-nothing.” Grace staggers to her feet as she turns to look at Kallo. Her legs are tingling and prickling from being in the same position to long. “Good morning!” She chirps to loudly before back peddling towards the bay door. She avoids looking at the angara who is slowly getting to his feet, even as those azul blue eyes are latched onto her form... watching her every move.

“I should go!” Spinning she leaves the room in a stumble.

She’s weaving her way through the ship in a jog trying to make it back to her room before anyone else catches her. A hand is pressed to her sleep shirt, above the rapid beats of her heart.

_I’m not crushing…._

Yet she knew now, in the space of her room, that it was a lie. Jaal Ama Darav had done what she thought was impossible. He reached past her fiery skin and touched the glass heart she had thought was hidden for good.

“What am I going to do now?”

There was no clear answer forthcoming to her quiet whisper. Despair over the fact she was feeling, Grace ran a hand through her hair before flopping face down into her bed.

_It’s best to ignore it._

It’s what Ryder did. Pain, sorrow, puppy crushes that can only lead to heartache, it was all left to be ignored.

_He’s leaving in the morning._

Only it’s morning now, and the dread she had been fearing is washing over her like a tidal wave. Threatening to drown her in panic again.

 _“Ryder, we will arrival at Aya in 20 minutes.”_ SAM announces.

His voice is like a buoy in the ocean. Latching onto it Grace pushes back the unwanted emotions

“Thanks SAM.” Grace scrubs a hand over her tired face before she goes about getting ready for their landing.

Forgoing weapons, like she had last time, Grace picks a pair of black pants that hung her hips and thighs, with a soft gray top that has a scoop neck. Rubbing her bare arms she peered into the mirror before fluffing her cyan locks. She started gathering them to put up into a bun be decided to let them fall around her shoulders.

_Business casual, completely non threatening._

Grace is exiting her quarters just in time to hear the Moshae’s voice. It wasn’t sounding anywhere close to as feeble and scratchy as it had been a few days ago. The sun lamps Cora had lent Lexi seemed to do wonders with the angara physiology.

_Who knew the cat people were part plant too._

“I am not an invalid Jaal, I can walk perfectly fine.”

“But-.” Jaal was twisting his hands together as he followed closely behind the lilac angara. It seemed the hovering trait he had with Grace was a normal thing as he loomed like a mother hen over the Moshae who didn’t even blink at the behavior.

Moshae Sjefa shushed him as she made her way out of the medical bay. “I think,” She chortled with a small smile on her lips. “You have other things to worry about.” This was said with very obvious looks shot Grace’s way. “Evfra already knows.”

Jaal sighed, pressing a hand to the side of his cowl, fingers absently tracing the old scar. “How bad?”

“Not so bad,” A twinkle entered her eye then. “Sahuna had some choice words for him, along with all your other mothers.” She pauses giving him a disapproving look. “Your true mother wasn’t all too happy finding out about this from me.”

There was a rough chuffing noise coming from Jaal as he stood stunned behind the laughing Moshae.

Grace glanced back and forth between the pair with confusion. “Uh?”

“Grace!” The Moshae tilted to the left looking around Jaal to gaze at her. “Are you ready?”

Somehow she felt that there was an underlying meaning she wasn’t picking up. “There isn’t an angry mob outside is there?”

“A mob? Perhaps, coming to sing your praise.” The Moshae laughed at Grace’s aghast expression. “And Olvek will probably be scowling like Evfra when I see him.”

“Oh good,” Grace sighs as she starts leading the way to the ramp. “Another Lexi.”

“I’m not that bad Grace!” Lexi called from the medbay.

Grace just laughed as she ushered the pair out of the Tempest.

Sjefa was right, Olvek was standing outside the docks with a medical staff at his side. He wasn’t frowning till he caught sight of the womans battered body and pale skin.

“By the stars!” He cried rushing up to help the Moshae down the ramp, to which she swatted his hands away growling that she was perfectly fine to walk. He fussed over her worse than Jaal  who had come to stand behind Grace and watch the reunion play out.

There was a small gathering of angara, all come to greet their Moshae.

It was heartwarming seeing each and every member step up, some clasped her shoulders, others touched foreheads with her. The hum of their bioelectricity was brimming with joyous pulses.

Grace smiled with a sigh. It was moments like this when all her hard work bared fruit that made her feel like she was doing something right.

A hand brushed across the small of her back, just above the curve of her butt. Tensing she turned to look at Jaal who was watching the Moshae.

_Different cultures, doesn't’ mean the same._

“Ryder!” The medic was suddenly on Ryder, pulling her into a bear hug that had her hissing when he squeezed her back a bit too roughly. The bruising was mostly healed but being hugged by someone who was 90% muscle certainly brought back the pain.

“Olvek,” Jaal growled. “She’s still injured.”

“Ah.” The angara released her so quickly she stumbled back into Jaal. Hot hands settled on her shoulders steadying her her. “Forgive me.”

“It’s okay!” Grace waved off his puppy dog look that the angara had perfected. “I’m made of tougher stuff, a little hug is not going to break me.” Jaal snorts at this.

“You did not-.” She stops talking when Olvek grabs her face suddenly and presses his forehead to hers. The hands on her shoulders give her a gentle squeeze when she stiffens.

“Allow me to be the first to thank you Pathfinder Ryder, for bringing back the Moshae, and hope to the resistance.” Olvek pulls back, a smile is adorning his face as he pats the top of her head before retreating.

“Jaal,” Grace turns to look over her shoulder at the angara who still holding her. “What does the,” She motions to her head while she’s talking. “Forehead thing mean?”

“A great show of adoration and respect.” He pauses. “It means he loves you.”

“Uh,” Grace starts scratching at her scar. “Like what kind of love?”

“Your people have an odd view of this emotion.” His thumbs are rubbing across the bare skin of her shoulder blades. “It means you are family, one of us.” His voice drops as he lowers his head till his lips are by her ear. “I also feel the same.”

Gasping she shivers while he breath ghost across her skin. She doesn’t have to to reply before he’s walking away. Biting her lips, she catches the Moshae’s eye, as she gives the Pathfinder a knowing look.

Flushing Grace chases after the confusing angara as he head into the city, towards their meeting with Evfra.

There are a thousand words at the tip of her tongue. Some questioning what he meant, or if he realized what that sounded like to her. Some pleas asking him to stay, and some just small awkward chatter to fill the space that she desperately wants to close. But Grace is stubborn, and developing feelings only left heartache in the end. It happened to Alec, it happened to Nebby and it happened to her.

So she keeps quiet as they pass through the city, looking down at her feet instead of the broad shoulders ahead of her.

Evfra was his usual icy self when they made it to the Resistance headquarters. Grace wondered if he ever smiled as she approached the frowning male who didn’t look happy to see her again, nor did he look particularly unhappy either though.

“Hello again.” Grace greeted as she came to stand in front of his desk.

“Ryder,” He nods at her while his eyes flicker across her face before glancing at the male hovering in the background. His frown is deepening as he meets Jaal’s eyes. “You have done my people a great service.” He’s back to looking at her as he speaks. “You have done something even the Resistance didn’t think was possible.”

“I couldn’t have done it without your men Evfra.” Grace holds his gaze as he studies her. Her palms begin to sweat a bit underneath Evfra’s harsh frown.

“I think you give yourself too little credit.”

“Not at all… If Jaal had not been there I would be dead.”

The eyebrow ridge raised at her admission. He’s looking over her head again as his lips curl for the briefest of moments. The amused expression is gone so fast Grace wonders if she had imagined it.

“So I have heard.” Evfra pulls to his full height, going a full head taller than Jaal. “Thank you Ryder.”

Grimacing, Grace started twisting a strand of blue hair around her finger before stopping. She could just hear Alec scolding her for not having good posture in front of someone so important. “I gave you my word.”

“And you kept it.” Evfra nodded. “Now I think there is another matter we need to discuss.”

Heart in her throat, Grace threads her fingers together behind her back as she stares at the angara waiting for her to speak. “There is the matter of outpost and an embassy here on Aya.” Grace shifted her stance, straightening up. “We would like to post a settlement on Voeld, if you’re against it I can list the many benif-”

“Yes.”

“itesss...yes?” She stares at him, jaw unhinged in surprise.  

“You have proved yourself Pathfinder, not only to the angara for bring back the Moshae, but to me.” Evfra cross his arms, the harsh frown on his lips softened just a bit. “You went above your word, freeing angara from kett enslavement camps, restablishing supply lines, went out of your way to help anyone who asked. The answer is yes.”

“Oh.” Grace felt the glowing heat on her cheeks as she started to trace the scar on her nose. “uh thanks...and the embassy?”

“That,” He gives a indignant sniff. “Will be something Paaran Shei will handle.”

Sighing, Grace decided Tann can handle that part, since the hard portion was done. She was after all the Pathfinder, not a politician.

The Resistance leader is done with their conversation as his gaze goes back over her head.

“Jaal,” Evfra is scowling again. “We have something to discuss.”

“Of course Evfra.” Jaal is also frowning, as he seemed to be puffing himself out more.

_Are they about to fight?_

“Ryder,” Evfra doesn’t take his eyes off the male in front of him. “You are free to enter Aya at anytime.”

_In other words, get out of his space._

Grace hesitates, wanting to open her mouth, to tell him that Jaal was a valued part of the Tempest crew, that should wouldn’t be leaving unless he was on her ship. But she couldn’t. The truth was she couldn’t be that selfish to take him away from his people. Who were in desperate need of help. Help Jaal had the skill to lend.

“Right, I’ll uh see you when you’re done.” She smiles at Jaal who returns it with a smile much warmer than her own.

“Of course you will.” He chuckles patting her head as she passes. “I’ll show you Aya when I’m done.”

Heart in her throat she feels the tingling warmth spreading through her limbs. “I look forward to it.” She gives Evfra a small wave before bidding good bye.

Once again she's outside the Resistance doors, though this time she doesn't have a bunch of guns ready to shoot if she so much as twitched wrong. Hesitating at the top of the steps, Grace gazed around at her surroundings, unsure where she should go.

_I'm the Pathfinder, let's find a path._

Taking two steps at a time she goes right heading for what looked like a railing overlooking Aya. It seemed like a good place to wait for Jaal. He’d be able to find her as soon as he left the headquarters.

_And we can say our goodbye’s._

There was a hollow ringing in her stomach that made her sick at the thought. Biting the inside of her cheek she turned her head to look out over the railing. The city limits extended beyond what she thought before the scorched planet surface swallowed everything else.

Aya certainly was beautiful. The lush greens and warm sun reminded her of the tropical regions of earth. As a breeze tickles her skin, Grace tilts her head back soaking in the calm moment that did nothing to sooth the churning of her stomach.

 _“Ryder,”_ SAM pops up in their private link. _“May I ask why you didn’t tell Evfra you wanted to keep Jaal aboard the Tempest?”_

She didn’t know how the AI knew this, it wasn’t like she had discussed it with him. Though he did monitor all her vitals, or perhaps she’s more expressive than she had intended.

_Unless he’s gained the power to read my thoughts._

“I didn’t want to take him from where he is needed.” She shrugged leaning forward onto the railing. “He's a valued part of our team, but the Resistance needs a man of his caliber. If you haven't noticed all the flyers they are practically begging for help.”

She didn't think Evfra trusted the initiative enough to accept their help yet.

_We'll get there one day._

_“I understand._ ” He’s silent for a moment before speaking again. _“I still have the recording of Jaal's conversation with Commander Do Xeel on Voeld.”_

Grace had been meaning to listen to the conversation ages ago, but the more she got to know Jaal the less important the conversation became. She hadn’t trusted him then, now...she knew he had her back.

“I don’t….perhaps I shouldn't listen to it.” It felt wrong listening into his privacy. She had come to respect Jaal and his opinion. This felt like betrayal on the trust he was extending to her.

 _“Would you like me to delete it?”_ SAM inquired

She opened her mouth to say yes but the compulsion to _know_ was just nibbling away at her. “No...play the recording.”

There's a small crackling static noise before the soft whisper of Anjik’s voice starts talking.

 _“Evfra has been sending me your reports. He says you think the Pathfinder can do what she says she can. I want to hear if from you Jaal, tell me I’m not about to send my men to die.”_ There is an edge in her voice that Grace hadn’t heard when talking to the Commander.

 _“I believe she can do what she says, I’ve seen how her people talk about her Anjik,”_ There’s an awed note to his tone as he talks. _“They say she’s done the impossible before.”_

_“Then I believe your words Jaal Ama Darav.”_

There's a pause between them. Grace can only assume they are talking physically or there is something else pulling their attention. The silence stresses for so long she almost thinks the audio clip has ended.

Till Anjik is talking again, her voice going lower then it had before.

 _“Is she yours?”_ Anjik ask.

Jaal’s quiet for a long moment before he speaks again. His voice lower, raspier. _“I do not know._ ”

Anjik snorts. _“There is no guessing when it comes to the bond Jaal Ama Darav. She’s either yours or she’s not.”_

The audio cuts off after that. Leaving Grace with more questions then she started with. “What did she mean by bond?”

_“I haven’t the data to tell you, perhaps when Jaal returns you can ask him.”_

“Fuck no.” Grace did not want him knowing she was eavesdropping on his conversations via the comm link she had given him.

_Nothing says trust like spying._

Was she the one they talked about or another ‘she’? Grace nibbled on her lip as she tapped her fingers along the railing. Perhaps she could talk to the Moshae after Olvek released her. They had discussed, or Lexi had ordered really, that they wait to enter the vault till the Moshae’s immune system was up again. This was a course of action they had yet to talk about in detail.

“Oh!” A startled gasp from behind had Grace whipping around in a defensive stance. She scanned the area, looking for a threat before she found herself staring at a very tall, very ecstatic woman who is moving rather quickly in Grace's direction. There was no mistaking the intent of the woman's gaze was solely based on Grace.

“You truly are lovely.” The angara woman is squealing as she comes to stand in front of Ryder. “Sjefa said you were adorable.” She gasped, her hands cupping both sides of Grace's face, smooshing her cheeks till her lips were puckered like a fish. “You are so soft.” She cooed. That delicate nose wiggled a little as a smile bloomed across her face. “And smell like _cetulive._ ”

“Uh.” Grace blinked a bit unsure what to do with this over excited angara who was crooning sweet things at her. “Thanks?”

“Oh!” Suddenly the gentle hands cupping her cheeks vanished as the woman’s neck inflated a bit. “Forgive me, I was just so...excited to meet you. I am Avale.”

Gaping at the magenta colored angara giggling at her bewildered expression Grace cleared her throat before offering her hand. “Grace Ryder….most call me Ryder.”

Avela eyed her hand before grabbing her wrist and correcting the position so that Grace could bump her shoulder. The same sort of greeting she had seen on Voeld and Aya.

“May I call you Grace?” She asked after Grace properly delivered their greeting after the thrid attempt.

“Sure.” She shrugged before her face was being captured by Avale again.

“So very soft! Do you use lotions to achieve this?” Her fingers are running along her skin as she ‘pets’ Grace.

“Nooo?”

“Naturally soft. wonderful!” Avela is squealing, drawing attention from on lookers. “I have never touched anything so soft before.” She gasps again when she fingers Grace's hair. “Oh it's like silk!”

“Thanks.” Grace shifts uncomfortably in the angara’s hold.

“Where is Jaal?” Avela ask as she finally extracts herself from Grace's face.

“Huh?” She's in a bit of a daze, having been petted like a cat from a stranger.

Socially hyperactive didn't even begin to cover the angara social structure. From what Grace had observed on Voeld angara where extremely touchy people. She shouldn't have been shocked that a random a angara as petting her.

But she was.

“I would think he would be with you.” Avela sighed. “Unless what I've heard is false.”

Grace assumed she meant him staying on the tempest. “No.” She shakes her head. “He's with Evfra, being reassigned.”

Avela blinks her eyebrow ridge lifting in confusion. “Surely Evfra’s not that cruel to separate a newly bonded pair!” Avela huffed suddenly. “Worry not Grace I will have a word with him...and so will the Moshae. She won't stand for this either.”

Before Grace can ask the odd angara what she means, Avela is slipping away into the crowd.

Left to her own devices again, Grace ducked her head turning around as she noticed all the angara staring in her direction. Feeling nervous she wrapped her hands around the railing and leaned over it to peer down into the city below.

As the minutes ticked by, Ryder’s antsy feelings wound tighter till she couldn’t sit still any longer. Glancing at in the direction of the Resistance, Grace makes her way through the thins part of a crowd.

About this time SAM should have given the crew an all clear to explore the city. When Jaal was done he could send her a message, in the meantime she’ll find one of her crew to keep her company as she waited.

Stepping into what it seemed to a dining area, Grace scanned the bar for familiar faces. If there was booze to be had Drack or Liam would be there. To her disappointment neither seemed to be there, nor was anyone else from the Tempest.

Continuing her search she started to pass through clusters of angara tables, most were empty though there was a family or two crowded around the much too small tables. She smiled a little at hearing their merriment. This was certainly a different atmosphere than the Nexus. If she wasn’t being eyed with interest Grace might have been able to even relax her. Might even forget her problems for a time.

“HEY!”

Turning to find the source of the yelling, Grace cried out in pain as something smashed into her nose. Stumbling back into a table, she tried to find purchase to keep standing.The angaran at the table gasped as their plating and food were knocked to the floor. She could feel warm liquid drip from her nose as the tang of copper coated at the back of her throat. The cafe area she had been walking through became hushed.

Turning, Grace eyed the large green angaran male hovering over her. His big blue eyes reflected the burning flame of resentment and anger.

“You are _vesagara_.” He hissed. “And they let you walk through our city as if you are one of us.”

Grace wiped her nose, smearing the blood across her face. She winced as her fingers touched the bridge. She was either going to have major swelling there or it was broken “Look.” She slurred before spitting the blood pooling her her mouth out.  “I get you’re mad-”

Ryder stumbled back as the angaran charged, knocking her to the floor.

Grunting she curled her knees and used them to shove the angara off before rolling out beneath him. Her broken hand caught on the table edge as she staggered to her feet. Biting back the cry of pain, Ryder watched the olive green angara as he stumble to his feet, holding his stomach where she had kicked him.

Circling each other, Grace flexed her hand a bit as she considered her options. Hand to hand combat was not going to be an options. She didn’t even know if she could take the giant male with two hands. And if she broke it again over some jackass’ face Grace was going to be pissed. She could use biotics and have him out flat on in his back in two seconds, but she didn't want to scare the onlookers. She was the representative of the Initiative, if she came off as some scary biotic it could end up hurting what fragile trust they had just gained.

Talking would be her only option till someone came to break up the fight.

“Look, I'm sorry for-” Grace jumps back out the snarling angara’s way. He's stumbling to keep up with her swift dodged.

_Is he drunk?_

“Your people killed my mate!” He roared while swinging wide, too wide. Leaving all defenses open. He’s staggering and reeling as Grace circles him again and again, like he can’t keep track of her.

 _Obviously drunk_.

Grace ducks under another wide swing as she tries to move him away from the thick of the people gathering. “I’m sorry.” Grace tries to pacify. “I-I didn't know….”

“You're the reason my _Toashay_ is gone.” He stumbles to lean against a table, the fight seemingly leaving him as he sags into the surface.

Holding both hands up, Grace inches around the angara who is choking on a sob. For a moment she doesn't see the green angara consumed by grief, but Jaal as he cried over a Kett body.

“I'm sorry.” She croaked tears pickling eyes. “Losing a loved one is never easy.”

“What would you know!” He spat his hand pulling a gleaming knife from his belt. He's unsteady as he gains to his feet.

“Hey now-” Grace jumps back as he swipes at her stomach. “Look we can-” Again he aims for her unarmored stomach as he continues to jab the knife.

“FUCKING STOP!” She yells throwing a weak biotic push that has him stumbling back into a table.

In the distance she can hear the Krogan war cry and instantly stood between her attacker and the charging Krogan.

“Drack, no!”

There was no way she was letting all her hard work go to waste because of hate and misunderstands. Ryder refused to let the months of freezing her ass of-

Grace gasped, something hit her side with a quick and painful explosion. Her world tilted a bit as Drack skidded to a stop before he was charging again, yelling her name.

Grace stumbled her eyes dropping to look down the length of her body. The breathe in her lungs concave as she stared horrified at the sight. The simple gray shirt was steadily growing darker. A concept Grace couldn’t grasp even though her mind spun around in panic.

_You’re bleeding-call for help._

Sharp ragged pants escaped part parted lips as she hesitantly reached for the sleek back grip of a blade, the blade, sticking out of her abdominal. Dimly Grace recognized that she was going into shock as her body quaked with pain and sound faded to a dull buzz in the back of her mind. Her fingers graze something warm and sticky trickling down her back before her fingers wrap around something hard. Something that shouldn’t be there. Mind reeling in confusion and pain Grace tried to grasp that she had been stabbed.

 _Stabbed...stabbed…._ **_stabbed_ ** _-_

_Oh god._

Colors swirled, something leaked from her mouth, as her lung collapses in on itself while the blade scrapes against her ribs with each desperate inhale. Chaos erupted around her, but Grace couldn’t perceive anything beyond the object protruding from her ribs.

Ryder looked up again, and for a second her eyes see Earth on a cloudless day before rolling back into her head.

.

.

.

.

_‘She’s losing too much blood.-’_

 

_“JAAL STOP-_

 

_‘-he hit an artery.’_

 

_“YOU'RE GOING TO KI-"_

 

_‘It’s her lung! He punctured her lung. Get her to the Tempest immediately.’_

.

.

.

.

 _“Grace, Little Love, you’ll be fine.”_  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies, welcome to Fridays update! I can only imagine the outrage you're probably feeling. Truly sorry loves, its how it has to be. 
> 
> Bad news for you guys, I'm heading off to the beach tomorrow. I'll have my laptop ready to write, but don't know how much time I'll spend on it when I have sand and sun and hot menfolk to entertain me. I'll try to keep schedule but the sad truth is you'll probably have to wait a 2 weeks before the next installment is out!
> 
> Thanks for all the support and love!
> 
> Also Thank you Lunamir for being my beta!
> 
> Till next time: Still here, by your side.
> 
> Notes  
> Cetuive- Sweet drink mothers give children. Often made from fruits from Harval. It's a pale yellow, with a creamy consistency.
> 
> Lunamir note
> 
> YOU BITCHES WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT SHIT WERE YA!


	9. Something between us?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WTF IS GOING ON?

“ _ Honey _ ,” Soft strokes caressed her cheek, drawing Grace from the warmth of her dreams. 

“Mmm?” She nuzzled deeper into the worn blanket beneath her folded arms. Someone chuckled in her ear.

“Honey, it’s time to get up.”

Grace opened her lids, blinking them to stare at the pale gaunt face in front of her. “What time is it?” She yawned stretching her arms before reaching for the frail hand that had been touching her.

“I think its seven.” Ellen whispers. 

Rubbing her eye, Grace leaned back onto the bed looking up at her mom. “Only you would say it’s time to get up.” She grumbled wiping away the sleeplessness.

“Gracie Girl.” Ellen smooth the hair back from her face. Her hands were a little steadier today than yesterday. It was these small things that gave Grace hope that one day, one day, she would be better. But the truth was staring at her with loving eyes and a body that was wasting away. Ellen Ryder was never going to get better. “What are you still doing here? Go out, see the world.”

She’s wearing that frown again, the one that means she’s been thinking too hard about her situation.

Grace blinked. “I don’t want to go out mama.” She rubs the cold hand between her own. “I want to spend my time with you.” For however long that might be.

Ellen shook her head, what was left of her curls swayed with the movement. “No honey, I mean go out. GO, live your life the way you want to. Not how your father wants you to.”

Snorting Grace raised her brow. Here came another talk about her future. Ellen Ryder was a worry that her daughter would forever be cloaked the the shadow of her parents. 

“Dad can’t tell me what to do.” She pointed out. “I’m too stubborn, like him remember.”

“Grace Nova Ryder.” Ellen caught her cheek, pinching it. 

“Ellen Grace Ryder.” Grace sasses back pinching her mother's own cheek and earning a small smile that actually reaches her  gray eyes. 

“Don’t make the same mistake I did Gracie girl.” Ellen’s lip fall back into a frown. “Don’t waste your time on projects that will never matter.”

“Ma-”

“Ssshh Grace.” Ellen catches her chin in her shaking grasp. Her eyes are filled with tears as she talks with a ragged wobbly voice. “Please listen to me. I don’t want you to regret your life. Be truthful to who you are.” She moves her hand, cupping Grace’s cheek. “Go out and see this galaxy. Become a pro wrestler, or open your own business. Fall in love and for god's sake tell him,” Ellen paused, blinking tears from her gray eyes. “Or her, you know I don’t care.”

“Mama.” Grace sighed exasperated, trying to hide her own growing pain at her mothers words. The wishes of a dying woman.

“No, I know you Grace. Love is a scary thing to you, and I won’t deny that. It's scary, but I want you to go out and fall in love. That is my last request as your mother.”

“Don’t talk like that! You are going to be fine!”

“Just like your father, stubborn to the core.” Ellen sighed pulling Grace close with a weak tug. “I mean it Grace.”

Moving forward Grace buries her face into her mother's shoulder. Inhaling her scent, the stench of the hospital overpowers everything else. There was no longer the hint of vanilla on her mother's skin, only disinfectant.

_ She doesn’t even smell like herself anymore. _

Tears start blurrying her vision. ”I’m sorry mama.” Grace choked as she pressed her forehead to the thin,  _ too thin, _ shoulder. 

“It’s alright Gracie girl.” Frail, cold fingers slide through her scalp. Rubbing away the worries that could wait till later.

_ When there would be no more fingers able to run through her hair. _

“Promise me Grace,” Grace moved her head, pressing her cheek to her mother's collarbone so that she could look into her eyes. Gray, gray eyes that she had inherited. “Take care of your father and brother. They need a Ryder woman in there life.” Ellen gave a chuckle. It was weak and laced with a slight cough.

“They wouldn’t know how to breathe without me.” Grace added humorously, even though she was screaming inside. Begging for her mother not to go, not to leave her this responsibility.

“I know you’re strong Gracie girl, my strong, strong girl.”

Grace closed her eyes, hot tears spilling out of her lids.

\---

Waking with a gasp and being disoriented was something Grace was used to. What she wasn’t used to was the throbbing twinge in her side and the blinding over head light.

“Mama?” Grace twitched as she lay there squinting at the light above.

_ Had she fallen asleep at the hospital again? _

Shifting she moved to sit up when pain laced her side. A jarring call to reality.

_ “You're the reason my Taoshay is gone!”  _

Grace gasped, hands flying to her side to stop the bleeding. Only there’s no hilt buried deep in her side, no gushing blood, just her tattered shirt and a blood stained gauze. 

Brow furrowing, she tried to remember what happened.

There was the angry blue eyes, so much like the ocean orbs she knows so well, the knife and the color red.

_ Blood, so much blood. _

She remembered seeing Jaal in the sea of people. Staring at her with an expression of pure pain and horror and then….

_ Nothing. _

Where was she? The tempest infirmary, but….where was the tempest?

Oh god, had they left Aya already?

_ I didn’t get to say goodbye _ .

A ragged sobbing like groan worked its way out of her throat. Biting back on the sorrow, Grace pressed a palm to her forehead trying to stave off the tears persistently pricking at her eyes. She never got the chance to ask him if he wanted to stay with her! Oh god, she might never see him again!

_ “Ryder,”  _ SAM stirred at her pained breaths. _ “doctor Lexi is on her way.” _ SAM paused, the brief span of silence was filled with her soft keening noises.  _ “Ryder I am not detecting any pain, just mild discomfort. Is there anything I can do?” _

“Nwoo.” Tear were free falling now, big fat droplets rolled down hitting the edge of her hair line. The harder she tried to stop the burning sadness the more she cried. 

She didn’t want him to go, ah god when had she fallen so hard? It didn’t seem logical. Yet the pain she felt in her heart the torn ragged pain that hurt far worse than being stabbed told her otherwise.

Jaal had taken a very important piece of her heart.

“Grace,” Lexi was there, hands touching her face. Slightly damp, suggesting the doctor had been doing something that involved water when Ryder woke up.

“Grace, Are you in pain?” Lexi was pulling up her shirt, probing the healing wound.

“Nwo.” She hiccuped, unable to wrangle in the welling tears spilling from her lashes and rolling down her cheek. “M’ybe.” She’s taking such ragged breaths she can feel the internal stitching pulling with each inhale.

“Grace, you have to tell me what’s wrong so I can help.” Lexi looked down at her, worrying.

_ Was she bleeding again? It felt like there was a knife imbedded in her heart. _

“I-.” Grace pressed the heel of her hand into her eyes. “I can’t-stahp!” 

_ “Doctor T’Perro, I am not sensing an imbalance of homeostasis within Ryder, she is in normal levels. Perhaps it is the pain medication.”  _ SAM suggest. 

“It could be.” Lexi pulled back going to her charts as Grace continued to make wounded noises.

The medbay door opened and Lexi sighed with what sounds like well worn exasperation  “I told you to wait.”   
“No.” A voice rumbles, low and harsh.   
“Jaal-” Lexi starts but is promptly hushed by a low growl.

“Not when she's like  **this** .” the last word is snarled out

_ Jaal?! _

There’s a wailing gasp that leaves her lips, a name crying in non-syllable words. As the soft noises rent the air, she feels someone touching her, stroking her hair, crooning away her pain. 

Moving her hand, Grace stared up at the ocean of stars gazing down at her with such adoration. 

“Shh Grace, it’s alright.” He wiped away the salty teardrops before leaning forward till his nose was pressed against her temple. Little puffs of breath ghost across her wet skin.

“What is wrong with her?” Jaal asked as he purred against her ear.

“It’s the drugs I think.” Lexi appeared again, with a light this time. Grace shifted as she shined it into her eyes.

“Tell me how you're feeling Grace.” Lexi prompted.

“I-i-I don’t-” Her words were lost in the sobbing hiccups of a turmoil emotions. Like a dam that was broken the flood fell upon her.

Jaals whispering to her, trying to sooth what was broken. “You’re safe here Little One, I have you.”

Grace gasped, latching onto the arm he used to brace himself on the bed. She’s babbling, jumbled warbling words that make no sense. “N-o leaving, I’m sorry. Stay stay.” She clings to him, afraid that if she lets go she’d drift away in the sea of emotions threatening to crush.

Lexi’s speaking in the background, her voice a dull hum that Grace can’t focus on as she’s hysterically trying to merge with the arm holding her. Jaal shifts above her, sliding an arm beneath her shoulders to hold her closer to his chest. Grace buries her nose into his shoulder, keening.

It wasn’t till she felt the sharp prick of a needle in her shoulder that she realizes Jaal was holding her while Lexi puts her under. His eyes, those blue eyes, are the last thing she sees before sinking back to darkness. 

_ Stay _ .

This time Grace doesn’t dream. It just feels like a warm blanket of darkness that has wrapped her up.

When she wakes again, it’s to the sound of snoring. 

Groggy from the drugs, it takes her a moment to place the loud disjointed rumbling sound. Head rolling to the side Grace stares at the large male occupying the room with her. Part of her recalls the episode, the tears, and phantom pain of her heart, but the drugs simple dull her memory enough to make her think it was all a dream.

Still she can’t help but feel soothed by the presence of the large angara sitting in the too small chair.

Jaal’s large form was uncomfortably slumped in a chair beside her bed, legs stretched out and his arms folded. They really needed to get some Angara friendly seating on the Tempest.

Grace gazes at him till a shadow shifts in the corner separating from the rest. Cora steps into the light, her face looks tired, worn from worry.

“How you doing Ryder?” Her voice is the softest whisper. Grace doesn’t know if it's her drugged up mind or because she’s so quiet that it takes her a while to process what she’s saying.

“Fine.” Grace finally croaks, her voice sounds like sandpaper rubbing together. She wants to sit up, but her limbs feel as if they are weighted down. Not to mention her mouth feels like Tuchanka. 

Raw and dry. 

“Here.” Cora moves quietly across the room, to the side table and offers the cup that had been sitting there. She has to help Grace sit up to drink it.

“Thanks….” Her gaze falls back to the angara in the room.

“He’s been with you since the incident.” Cora says. “Lexi had to have Sam lock him out….and then she needed Drack to physically pull Jaal out after that because he just kept bypassing the lock.”

Grace turned to look fully at him again. Studying his lax facial features. “Why?”

“You’ll have to ask him.” She shrugs.

“Even if I ask I’ll probably just end up even more confused.” Jaal had a way of doing that. Confusing her with his actions, his words, his all consuming stare. Things that she just seemed to lack the instinctive or cultural context for.

Despite knowing next to nothing about the man, there was something that continuously pulled her to him. An invisible tether on her heart that tugged at her till she was in his presence. It was disconcerting.

“I think he likes you.”

Grace blinks at the statement and looks back at the biotic. “What?”

Cora shrugs. “I think he likes you-more than just a commanding officer.”

Grace feels her heart thump harder at her words before shaking her head. 

“He’s requested to stay on the tempest, with you.” 

She freezes, head in mid-shake, when her eye snap back up to Cora’s raised brow, almost smug look. “W-what-”

“Tann’s already approved it.” Cora states, she almost seems to enjoy Grace’s pinkening cheeks.

Despite her hazy thoughts, Grace can decipher the glee that comes from this knowledge.

_ He’s staying! _

Swallowing, Grace licks at her chapped lips. “That’s good, we’ll need knowledge on the angara culture, diplomatic advantages.”

Cora didn’t look like she believed Grace’s reasoning. Not the Ryder cared all that much. Her heart is still thumping in excitement while she has funny flips in her stomach. Taking a deep breath, Grace smooths her hands against the worn blanket.

It’s quiet for a moment between the two before Grace speaks again. 

“Did anyone file a report to Tann?” She asks in a low voice, eyes looking up at her second in command. This was a tightrope, when it came to the command of the Tempest and her crew Cora and her tended to butt head on what was the ‘greater’ good.

“Wanted to,” Cora admits. “But SAM suggested you wouldn’t want that.” Grace had a feeling that by ‘suggesting,’ he blocked her. 

“Ya.” Grace closes her eyes. “It would be best not to file it.”

“Why?” Cora’s tone isn’t clipped, or harsh, like it usually is when they come to clashing ideas on a topic. Perhaps she’s finally putting faith in Grace’s decisions.

_ Or it’s because I’m injured…. _

“The angara are a new race and our people aren’t always the trusting kind.” Grace rubs her eyes. She feels tired already. “If this gets out, they will view the angara with even more suspicion. And we don’t need that.”

“And if the news of the Pathfinder being stabbed got out….” Cora hummed tapping her chin. “There would be unease between the Nexus and the angara, I see.”

“Mmmhmm.” Grace sags against the pillows her eyes dropping, the drugs in her system finally pulling her back into exhaustion. 

“I suppose we could claim that there was data corruption-”

“Cora.” Jaal rumbled, his voice soft and gravely. “Let her rest.”

Harper turns seeing that Ryder had passed out against the pillows with her mouth hanging open and drool dripping out of the corner of her mouth. She could wait to talk to her again. “Of course.” She glances at Jaal as he tucks the blanket around the young leader, gentle and soft in his motions. 

She smiles to herself as she slips out the door. Grace would be well looked after.

\---

For three days she stays in the care of Lexi, on the astoundingly uncomfortable medical bed, that became item number two on her mental list of improvements for the Tempest. She has on and off visits from her crew, most relaying information about the on goings of the Nexus and Aya. Lexi won’t let her deal with anything she deems stressful and had restricted Ryder’s omnitool uses, so anything brought by the crew was welcome… even if they did get the evil eye from the residential doctor. 

The only constant visitor was Jaal, who was always present when she was awake.

… Minus the once she woke up and he was gone… and that didn’t last long.

Grace had awakened in the middle of the night, where she laid in the small, rock hard cot for a few silent moments before realizing she was alone. Sucking in a breath, Grace threw her covers back preparing to start wiggling out of bed when the door dinged, allowing access to whoever was on the other side. Flopping back into bed she threw the covers over her face and pretending to be asleep. If Lexi saw her, she would run more tests… and Grace was getting tired of being prodded, poked and scanned.

_ She wasn’t broken damnit! _

But the heavy footfalls indicated it wasn’t Lexi who entered, but rather the large bulky form of her angara companion who seemed to be orbiting her side since the attack.

Ryder twitched just slightly when a very large warm hand gently caressed her forehead, pushing back her hair. 

And then he kissed her.   
_ W-what?! _

His lips were warm, warmer than the fingers running through her hair, as they pressed into the skin of her forehead. 

**_WHAT?!_ **

She feels him sniff again, letting out a long breath before purring out a word that didn’t translate.   
“Taoshay”

Grace laid there, forcing herself to breath slowly, she couldn't’ stop the twitch when his lips moved away.

“Ssshh.” He stroked her hair, purring for a moment before he began to hum. A pleasant soothing sound as warmth washed over her skin. He was singing to her. 

_ Lullaby? _

Grace realized, he thought she was having a nightmare and was trying to soothe her. She hadn’t realized that there was a tear rolling down her skin till a warm finger brushed the wetness away.

“Never again.” Jaal promised, his voice coming from above her as he combs her hair. “I won’t let anyone hurt you **ever** **again**.”

With his words in her ear, Grace fell into an actual sleep, no nightmares, no memories, just a pleasant dream of strong arms and husky voices. 

\---

There was something going on between her and Jaal.

This was a thought that kept circling round and round in her mind. Was there something going on between them, or she was imagining things. But- 

_ He kissed her! _

There was something going on between her and Jaal.

And around the circle it went. Grace pondered this over and over again. Her inexperience with men was becoming blatantly obvious as she floundered around Jaal. Turning red faced, unable to look at him when he smiled at her, stuttering during conversations.

Worst of it all she didn’t even know if he was feeling the same because he was a FUCKING ALIEN. It wasn’t like he was a Quarian or a Drell, those were cultures that, while rare, weren’t complete goddamned mysteries! Shit, at least then she’d know to wow him with her tech prowess or… okay all she really knew about Drell was that some of them couldn’t tell the difference between black and red, but that was STILL more than she knew about the Angara!

At one point during her stay in the med bay she thought for certain something between them, like honestly he’s giving her heart eyes-till she looked out the window in the medbay and saw him and Peebee.

That put an end to the butterflies in her stomach like a frag grenade. 

It wasn’t that they were doing anything scandalous, they had just been talking.

But it’s how they spoke with their body. How Peebee swayed towards him hand on his chest speaking with a soft look as Jaal recuperated with a smile on his own. He seemed relaxed, comfortable in her presence, not minding the straying lingering touches.

Something clenched in her chest as Grace turned away from the window, from the scene that brought forth a need to throw something at them to make them STOP looking at one another like that.

She grabbed her brush instead.

Releasing the rat nest of her hair, Grace began yanking it through her tangles, uncaring when her scalp screamed at her for ripping strands out. Her frustrations made her movements jerky and harsh as she hissed in pain before continuing to torture her scalp. 

She felt like a schoolgirl whose date didn’t pick her up for prom. Like there was ice in her veins and shard of glass in her stomach. She had been foolish to think Jaal was being anything but nice! Hell he probably felt responsible for her injuries-

Grace’s breath hitched as she realizes that was why he hovered at her side, why he was being so attentive. Not because he liked her-

_ More than a commanding officer- _

But because he felt guilty…

Grace wanted to scream, instead she rubbed her burning eyes and went back to yanking the hairbrush through her tangled tresses. 

_ Stupid, stupid, stupid- _

“May I?” The baritone voice startled the FUCK out of her.   
With a gasp Grace, hairbrush in hand, turned to look at the male watching her trying to tear out her hair. 

“Uh,” She’s gaping at him as he smiles back, he’s moving closer the longer she stays silent. “W-” She coughs before clearing her throat. “What?”

“Your hair,” He leans forward picking up a few strands, letting them fall from his ungloved fingers. “May I brush it?” His eyes, those damn beautiful eyes are looking at her. Earnestly willing her to submit to his request.

Grace could feel the blush creeping up her neck, darkening her cheeks the longer she stares at him.Before she can think better of it, her hand moves, offering up the brush.. “Sure….just be careful.”

Jaal smiled at her, one of those gentle looks that had her heart flipping inside. “Of course.”

_ Stop it Grace, _ she scolded herself, looking away from him as he settles on the bed behind her, large thighs encasing her between his legs. 

Warmth radiating off of him enveloping her in his scent, his bioelectricity dancing down her back. Grace shivers when he touches her. Her arm erupted in goosebumps as her stomach fluttered, full of butterflies. She ducks her head, hiding her red cheeks while biting her lip. Jaal seemed almost hesitant as he ran the bristles through her locks.

“Like this?” He ask, breath hitting the back of her neck. 

“You can be rougher.” Grace breathed before clearing her throat. “I mean you can put more pressure into it, my hair’s thick... got lots of tangles.” She closes her eyes, trying to wrangle in her thumping heart.

There was nothing going on between them...

Jaal made a sort of strange low noise almost a soft keen yet ended in a clearing of his throat before she felt the brush stroke through the strands gently but firmly.

Twice Grace opened her mouth to say something as he brushed her hair-twice her jaw snapped shut as the image of Peebee popped up in her mind. She wanted to ask him what was going on. Why he hovered around her, if he had something going on with Peebee or if this was just something his people did. 

She didn’t want to read too much into something that wasn’t there.

Which is why Grace almost cried in relief when the baby pyjack climbed onto her bed and into her lap with a purring chirp. Her fingers went to stroke Perry. Her little pyjak seemed insanely happy to have his ‘mother’ around more often. So much so that his klepto “Gift Giving” habits had increased. At the moment he had some sort of tool.

_ Most likely Gil’s _ .

The monkey like creature held the tool out to her with a happy chirp as she scratched his head.

“Oooh I always wanted a...sonic screwdriver.” Grace crooned at Perry who made a happy trilling sound before nuzzling into her stomach. For a minute Grace can focus on Perry rather than the angara wrapped round her-

Till he speaks and her body attunes itself to him. The fact that his breath hits the top of her head, the way his muscular thighs seem to press into her, keeping her in place, how his hand runs the brush awkwardly through her hair while his other hand cups the back of her neck. Gentle and warm it makes her shiver when his thumb rubs her skin softly.

“Ryder,” There was a hesitant tug of the brush, Jaal’s voice brimming with nerves. 

Grace bit her lip, holding her breath as she waited for him to speak. “I was wondering…..when you are better….if you’d like to go through Aya-with me-I mean eat on Aya with me….” He made a chuffing noise, like a big cat, at the end of his faltering sentence.

Gray eyes peered over her shoulder, looking at his face. Twin blue ocean’s glanced at her before skirting away. Her heart thumped hard against  her chest, as she licks her lips.

_ Was he- _

“You want me to go eat with you?” Her voice was soft, trembling just slightly.

_ Was he asking her out!? _

“I- **yes** .” He looked up, capturing her gaze. “Would you like to accompany me….to the tavetaan? I hear there is an angara fruit that is most agreeable with humans.”

_ Was this a date?  _

Grace banished the thought, this was Jaal. An angara that didn’t know anything about human customs. Still her heart was beating rapidly against her ribs as her trembling fingers burying themselves into Perry’s fur.

Turning she smiled at him. “I’d love to.”

\-----

_ It’s not a date. _

It was a mantra she kept repeating in her head till the day came where she stood in front of the mirror in the Pathfinder quarters practicing breathing as she switched through all her clothes.

“Not a date.” 

“Ryder,” SAM popped up on her desk. “Would you like me to ask Mr. Ama Darav if that is his intention?”

“NO!” Grace whirled around, hands waving. “Nooo no no. It’s not a date I’m just…” Building imaginary relationships with her crewmate because she was a lonely pathetic woman?

“Shit-” Grace turned to the mirror again picking up a tube of lipstick. “It’s not a date.” 

Grace applies her mother's favorite burgundy colored lipstick before looking at her reflection. The color stands out bright against her tan skin and flushed cheeks. For a moment Grace pictures what the color would look like smeared across Jaal’s pink skin.

Grunting she wiped the color away on the back of her hand before sighing at the sight of her stained skin. 

“I’m just pretending.” She whispered finally, shoulders slumping. “I have to remind myself not to read too much into someone's intentions.” She turns wiping the lipstick off on the silky sleeveless black shirt before tugging off the clothing that was far too inappropriate for this sort of thing. 

There was nothing going on between her and Jaal.

He was being kind, showing her Aya when she hadn’t gotten the chance before. Probably trying to make up for the guilt. Or maybe showing her all of Aya wasn’t so bad, as she had experienced it as.

“How do you know the other's intentions if you never ask?” SAM inquired as Grace tossed on a pair of jeans and old well worn t-shirt. 

Smoothing out the wrinkles of her shirt Grace stares at the mirror while pulling her hair into a ponytail. “Sometimes SAM, you don’t want to know their intentions.”

“What if they are what you want?” 

“What you want isn’t always the best thing SAM.” Grace knew this from experience. She thought she wanted her last boyfriend, and that turned out to be a huge mistake on her part. “Sometimes taking the gamble isn’t worth the price you pay.” 

“As you say, Ryder.” SAM’s orb disappeared from her desk as she tightened her ponytail, telling herself she wasn’t a coward. 

She didn’t want or need to be in a relationship, and this was for the best, she didn’t want to embarrass herself in front of Jaal, to make things awkward between them when she was finally managing a friendship between them.

Jaal met her at the Tempest ramp, he seemed to be overjoyed to see her, as he swept her up in his arms and purred against her shoulder.

“It is good to see you on your feet Grace!” He laughed.

She gave a small nervous chuckle in turn. Her thoughts drifted wondering if this was a celebration that she survived…

“Come, we have much to see.” Jaal hummed, his bioelectricity danced across her skin creating warmth and goosebumps. He grabs her hand and proceeds to walk across the street, Grace has to jog to keep up with his long strides.

She’s silent for a moment, searching her mind for something to say as she tries to keep pace with him. “....Jaal.” 

“Yes Little One,” Jaal peered down at her, his strides slowing to accommodate her her shorter legs.

“I-uh...Thanks for doing this.” She’s blushing again and wants to smack herself for acting like a teenager with her first crush.

_ Get it together! _

Jaal beams at her, eyes crinkling with pure joy. Grace struggles to breath beneath his gaze. “It is not a problem, I am all too pleased to be taking you out.” He stops and lowers himself till they are face to face. Grace goes still, eyes wide while a big hand cups the side of her face. “I am glad to see you well.” 

_ Holy shit. _

Grace shook her head, following him as he tugged on her hand. She had seen it on Voeld and here on Aya, the angara were a hypersocial people. Constantly touching and hugging. Leaning into one another as they talked. This wasn’t anything else, he was just being who he was raised to be.

But even as she logically thought out the facts, Grace could feel her heart clench as he pulled her to his side to squeeze through a crowd. How her stomach flipped when he dropped an arm around her shoulder to anchor her to him as they walked into the Tavetaan. Logically his actions made sense, but her heart kept telling her there was more to Jaal’s actions.

Despite her best efforts, Grace found her glass heart wanting to give another shot at a possible pain that would utterly destroy her.

Jaal guided her to a secluded corner table overlooking Aya. the table was surprisingly small compared to all the other tables meant for large gatherings. 

“Here Ryder.” He pulled a chair out for her to sit. She raised a brow at this. 

_ Very gentlemanly… _

“Thanks...Jaal?” She hesitantly took a seat looking expectantly as he stood by the table beaming down at her. “Are you...are you going to sit?”

“I will, after I get the food.” He’s bouncing on his feet like an excited puppy now. “I’ll go get it.” He paused. “Are you comfortable?”

“I am.” She raises a brow as he seems to think something over then nod to himself.

“Okay I’ll be right back.” He’s beaming when he turns to leave but stopped to look back at Grace. “Stay put...okay?”

She rolled her eyes at his tone before nodding her head. She couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. Tracing her scar, Grace looked out at the tables, seeing angara families gathered around, most laughing and being boisterous, but there was one table that caught her eye. A couple leaning into one another. The female was perched on the male's lap, she was smiling gently running the pad of her finger down his nose before kissing the flap tip.

Grace looked away from the intimate moment to her hands. 

“SAM,” Grace started popping her knuckles as the AI stirred to life in the back of her mind. “Do me a favor and look up angara customs and cultures. I think it’s time we start learning about our new neighbors.”

“Of course, Ryder.” SAM was quiet for a moment. “Shall I start compiling all the data?”

“Uh….categorize them. Important, not important, and things you think I would find interesting.” Grace leaned back in her chair, starting to scan the crowd.

_ What was taking him so long? _

“I will do that right away.” SAM disappeared and Grace was left to her silents and crowd watching.

As the minutes ticked by the the lone human started gardening more attention, Grace decided it might be best to go find her angara-Jaal….he wasn’t her angara.

Grace groaned and stood, her small stature made it easy to weave through the thin parts of the crowd.

Grace caught sight of him quickly as his form tended to loom over everyone else's. She almost called out to him, but all words died in her throat as she choked on a sudden inhale.

Jaal stood amidst the scattered crowd of the Tavetaan, but he was not alone. He had his arms wrapped around a pretty pink female angara who was pressing her head into his. 

There was a burning pain in her chest, where her heart lay. Sucking in a sharp breath, Grace tried to turn away but found herself transfixed on the scene before her. Watching as the pink angara reached up cupping Jaal’s face and laid a gentle kiss across his cheek.

Like a biotic punch to her sternum, pain radiated out of her chest stealing the very breath from her lungs. Fisting her shirt, Grace about-faced and started walking in the other directions. No destination in mind other then she just had to get away.

Unfortunately it seemed she had been seen as she tried to slip through the crowd.

“Grace!” She heard Jaal call.

Sucking in a ragged breath, Grace debated making a run for it before she decided she was being ridiculous. Trying to control her shaking, Grace turned towards Jaal.

“GRACE!” Jaal was jogging towards her. “Where are you going?”

“I uh...I’m not feeling good?” She winces at the uncertainty, but Jaal doesn’t seem to notice as concern immediately crosses his face.

“Is it your wound?!” He’s closing in on her reaching for her shirt as if to check the healed injury.

Grace shakes her head stepping back. “No!” She crosses her arms to keep him from flashing everyone on the street. “No I’m just-” Jealous, hurt, confused about these feeling that I shouldn’t have- “Dizzy.” 

“I’ve heard of this.” Jaal suddenly lifts her, placing her onto a nearby table. “I will get you some water. Lexi has informed me on some of the causes of dizziness.” He’s petting her hair, crooning gently at her while Grace’s cheeks flame.

“Jaal?” A sweet voice comes from behind the broad shouldered male and he immediately stiffens. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” He looks over his shoulder, shifting to block whomever it was. 

Grace’s brow dips in confusion as he seems to be actively trying to keep Grace out of sight.

“Oooh nothing? Or someone?” The voice purrs before growling. “Jaal. MOVE.” The pink female pushed him out of her way before she let out a delighted gasp at the sight of Grace fidgeting beneath her equally blue eyes. 

_ Eyes that look like a sea of stars. _

“Oh, she’s adorable!” Annnnd Grace was being hugged by a stranger…. again.

Jaal huffs as he stands, hovering over the pair. “Grace, this is my sister Veala.” He explains, face pinching a bit.

_ Sister. _

Grace felt like smacking herself as relief flooded her veins. 

“Uh hi.”

Her awkwardness must not have translated because the pink anga- Veala, just seemed to brighten at the sound of her voice.    
“Oh Jaal! She even sounds adorable!” Okay so adorable was a good thing… right? It meant his sister liked her….right?

Veala is cuddling her close, petting her ponytail. “And so soft! Avela was right!” She hums before pulling away. “I was  _ just  _ telling Jaal,” Veala shot her brother a look. “The Ama Darav mothers are  **not** happy that he hasn’t told them about you.”

“Why would he tell them about me? I thought he was only allowed to send reports to Evfra?” Grace was confused, more so when Veala gasped and began to wag a finger at her brother.

“Jaal Ama Darav! You STILL haven't told her?! Ooooh! I’m telling Sahuna!”

“Veala no!” Jaal’s hands shot out, immediately grasping the pink angara’s shoulders and giving Grace a pained look. “Give me a moment Grace, I must speak with my sister.”

“Uh,” Grace looked between them, suspicious. This wasn’t the first time Grace suspected Jaal was hiding something. Anjik and Avela had all mentioned something about a bond, even the Moshae had alluded to something, and now Jaal’s sister who, at the moment, was giving him the most exasperated look….

“Sure….I’ll head back to the ship.” she would question him later. What was a bond? Why was Sahuna so upset with Jaal for not telling her about Grace? What he was hiding from her?

“NO!” Jaal protested, his sudden booming voice startling both Grace and Veala.

“Uh you okay there Big Gu-mph!” Grace squeaked at the sudden massive angaran arms pulling her into an equally massive angaran chest where he stood cooing and purring over her.

“You can’t walk through the city alone!” she’s trying to figure out why the hell he sounds so… panicked? anxious?... before Grace feels something nuzzling the top of her head and starts to turn red.

_ Was he coddling her!? _

“Jaal!” Grace squirms in his hold, but the aforementioned massively muscled arms just tighten around her.   


“ **No** .”

Grace grunts as she grumbles beneath her breath. “Okay, okay. Fine!” She shoves at him, well, she  _ tries _ to shove at him. “I won’t go anywhere.”

“Promise?” He purrs the question, rubbing his cheek against her head. Her breath hitches as she freezes in his arms. What the  **fuck** is he doing?

“Yes-now let go.” Grace gripped at her shirt as he pulls back a bit, beaming at her.

“Stay put, when I’m done I’ll get you some food. It will help with the dizziness.” 

As he stood back with Veala, talking with her in a quiet voice, probably communicating more with their bioelectricity. Grace can’t seem to look away from him. The longer she finds herself staring... the harder her heart races. 

The unwelcome realization comes to her the moment he looks her way, a soft smile curving his lips.

She realizes how supremely fucked she is. Because Grace Ryder was falling in love with Jaal Ama Darav, and that never bode well for Grace. Because when she loved... it crumbled underfoot, turning to ash and dust, leaving her burned in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies! I know its been a while, you'll have to forgive the tardiness. Life has been sucker punching me hard. but no worries I haven't given up on this story! Updates might be once a month since schools started again but I'll try to keep them regular now. I have a HUGE thanks to all of your love and support! You guys have been awesome I couldn't ask for better readers. 
> 
> And as always I have to say a thank you to Lunamir, if not for her constant support this chapter wouldn't have made it to the light of day!
> 
> And now a note from Lunamir:
> 
> THERE YA GO YA THIRSTY BITCHES AND BROS. HAVE MO SEXY PINK MAN.
> 
> Until next time: She wasn't avoiding him per say, just choosing to leave the room when he entered....that wasn't cowardice, just strategy!

**Author's Note:**

> So here's the first of many chapters. I had to write this chapter a dozen times over because I was uncertain where I wanted to start. I had it begin at the opening of MEA but that just didn't feel right, I tried just before Eos, but that too didn't seem right. Then I got this Idea! But the more I wrote Grace, the more fleshed out she became. I had started with the weak woman who didn't know who she was, then Grace smacked that down hard and fast. And now she's a wisecracken, smartass who doesn't always think before she speaks. And I adore her, and I hope you do too.
> 
> It's been a while since I wrote, a long time. the mistakes are on me. I did go over this with a fine tooth comb but I always miss something. Sorry. I hope you stay tune for the next installment!


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